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27 weeks pregnant and need to leave my husband

(107 Posts)
Autumn12 Mon 13-May-13 00:59:22

He is a drunk and I can't put up with it anymore.

I posted about him recently and we managed to talk and sort things out after he stayed out all night. However despite the promises he has let me down yet again.

He went to a work rugby event today. I knew there would be all day drinking involved but he swore that he would take it easy.

I didn't hear from him all day so called him about quarter past 6 to see how he was and to find out if he would need collecting from the station later. He sounded ok and not too drunk. He said he would be heading home after the next rugby match. He also promised not to get too drunk and roll in at 2am.

Well here I am it's almost 1am and he is still not home. I've been calling him since 9pm with no answer. I am exhausted but haven't been able to get to sleep .

I finally just managed to get hold of him and he is apparently in east London and kept saying he wants to get home. That's nowhere near where the rugby was or where we live. There is no way for him to get home now unless he finds a cab willing to take him. That's going to cost £££££.

I won't be able to sleep until he finally gets home whenever the hell that will be, meaning I won't be able to manage at work tomorrow. I just can't do this anymore. I'm 7 months pregnant and can't put myself through anymore nights of being awake wondering where the hell my husband is.

I have to accept that he will never change. I can't put a child through this either. He clearly has an alcohol problem though he won't accept it. Being honest our entire relationship has been blighted by his drinking. I should never have married him. I kept hoping he would change. He has got better and goes out less but even one incident a year like this is too much for me. This is the 2nd in less than a month. He said fatherhood would change him but my being pregnant hasn't so why would a baby.

Autumn12 Wed 15-May-13 17:36:56

He's early 30's so not what I'd call young. No other DC except this one on the way.

AnyFucker Wed 15-May-13 18:32:46

On the bright side i did get some gorgeous flowers from him.

Empty gestures. Nothing to be "bright" about, love.

I'd also say don't take him to hospital unless you would benefit. Different circumstances somewhat for me at the moment, but having decided to separate from my stbxh, he hasn't been to any of the hospital or consultant visits at all.

I hope that your appointment is ok, and I also hope you realise that you are NOT causing his pain. He is the one who has caused the pain he feels, by his actions.

My ex was being a complete waste of space when I had to go to hosp for some pregnancy related issues (we were still sort of together) & I went by myself. Quite frankly did not need that on top of dealing with the anxiety over the baby etc, regardless of the fact that it was his baby.

Stick to your guns, stick to yourself (as best you can) & let him sort himself/not sort himself out. It really isn't something you can afford to be worrying about right now/when the baby makes an appearance.

Hope everything's ok with the pregnancy thanks Good luck.

CinnabarRed Thu 16-May-13 11:51:27

I hope today goes well.

Cerisier Thu 16-May-13 12:02:29

Early thirties- he should know better at his age and should be putting you and the baby first. He knows how you feel.

I hope it goes well at the hospital today.

lemonstartree Sun 26-May-13 21:17:18

hows things Autumn?

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