Hi, sorry this might be long but don't want to miss anything out.
My relationship has hit a stale point and a few things are niggling me and would appreciate some advice.
We have 2 dc. A few years ago not long after the birth of dd2 I unexpectedly fell pg. My oh persuaded/bullied/pressured me into having a termination. His reasons were good, in the best interests of our children etc, I didn't have any support, didnt tell anyone and have bitterly regretted it ever since. I then had a major contraceptive failure and ended up pg again, my oh insisted on termination again. This time I got support, my mum, his family and I had a thread on here, I decided to have the baby and although he behaved appallingly he accepted it in the end. I went on to miscarry at 13 weeks. I'm now a mixture of grief, guilt and desperately wanting another baby although I know that will never happen.
We have no sex life, mainly because our older dd is a terrible sleeper and is going through a phase of getting into our bed at night. But he seems to have no interest in sex, or me for that matter. No affection, no kisses, cuddles etc.
I'm a sahm, I get a small amount of tc and cb. When that runs out I have to ask him for money and he'll either transfer some money into my account of leave me some cash in the morning. I'm really at his mercy though, I have no access to any money without him giving it to me. I did get a part time minimum wage job, but after paying for half of the childcare I wouldn't have been left with much at all. He persuaded me it wasn't worth it so I turned it down. Regret that slightly now as at least I'd have a bit of money without asking. We're not married.
We really need to move, we have a 2 bed flat and the girls share which is one reaaon dd1 gets into bed with us. We've agreed that I'll go back to work full time when youngest starts school to enable us to move. But theres work that needs doing to the flat that he seems too lazy to do.
I'm just feeling quite frustrated with my life right now, don't know whether it's him making me feel like this or just the really rather rough time I've had of late. Don't know what I'm after really, just some wise words.
xxx
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I need to evaluate my relationship - please help
13 replies
UhhOhhh · 09/05/2013 14:48
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