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Warning....Sensitive material relating to sex life

(20 Posts)

Hi All
I wanted to know peoples thoughts (particularly women) on anal sex! I know this might sound like a seedy thread but I promise it's not meant to be.
I am transsexual so the only penatrative sex I can have is this way. Whilst I really enjoy it I am always paranoid that my bf wishes he could have 'traditional' intercourse!
Whenever I chat to girlfriends however they all seem to say that most boyfriends they have had would beg to do it like that and most women hate the thought of it. Mind you one friend loves it, which is perhaps why her boyfriend literally worships her....!

grumpyinthemorning Fri 03-May-13 09:31:36

Tbh it depends on the man. Some enjoy it, some don't, same as women. Maybe you could just ask him? Communication is a bigger part of a relationship, so talk about it!

Fwiw, I really enjoy it, and dp doesn't care either way so long as we're having sex! A lot of women who say they hate it have never tried it, which is daft.

Try not to worry about it. If he really cares about you, he'll make the effort to work around you.

WaitingForMe Fri 03-May-13 09:31:38

I think if your boyfriend says he's happy then you should believe him and examine your feelings about this.

My general view of most decent men is that they are happy you're there, that you're taking your clothes off and that they're going to get to do stuff to/with you. The rest is just minor details.

HairyGrotter Fri 03-May-13 10:04:48

Some men/women love it, some don't. All about personal preference. I'd believe your BF, if you're both happy, keep doing what you're doing, don't think for them smile

My BF is not a fan of it, and I'm fine with that.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 03-May-13 10:09:03

Sex is personal & individual to you and your partner. It really doesn't matter what other people think, do or say.

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

elQuintoConyo Fri 03-May-13 11:33:58

Must be Friday!

JaceyBee Fri 03-May-13 11:44:53

I've never tried it but would like to, I just have a few concerns about how it works/mess etc. my man has never done it either, he's a bit nervous too. What do I need to consider??

I'm sure if you're man says he's happy then he's happy, you can still have a varied and exciting sex life with only one type of penetrative sex, after all like you said many women wouldn't want to try anal.

Of all my male friends, some love and some aren't fussed, blowjobs seem to be more popular than anal overall!

HairyGrotter Fri 03-May-13 11:46:36

A few glasses of wine and plenty of lube

fluffyraggies Fri 03-May-13 11:57:30

Personally i've never had a BF 'beg' to do it.

It's something i've tried with a couple of partners in the past. IME it's ok.

I'd class it as something different to do when you're both pissed and/or for whatever reason feeling extra .... what's the word? ..... uninhibited? Naughty? Makes a change, kind of thing grin

DH is a bit take it or leave it. It's something that's initiated by either of us about 1 to 2% of the time i guess.

Never had a new or short term partner ask for it. Always been within an 'established relationship'.

JaceyBee Fri 03-May-13 12:12:20

Hmm ok. And what position is best? I heard lying down on your back a la missionary of lying on your front. Definitely not doggy style. Any confirmation of this? Sorry for hijack btw!

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 03-May-13 12:18:38

If you're interested in anal play take it slowly, start by experimenting with fingers etc, small butt plugs and IME you'll know when you're ready for something larger shock always use lube and never touch your vagina with anything that's touched the anus, the bacteria should never mix.

JaceyBee Fri 03-May-13 12:45:18

Hmm ok. And what position is best? I heard lying down on your back a la missionary of lying on your front. Definitely not doggy style. Any confirmation of this? Sorry for hijack btw!

JaceyBee Fri 03-May-13 12:46:17

Whoops, double post there sorry. Not that keen!

kotinka Fri 03-May-13 13:02:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blimey, I have really triggered a great discussion with interesting views. I agree with Jaceybee, not doggy style. I prefer missionary but legs right up with him holding them when doing it.
Mind you the nice thing about doggy style is the talking in my ear, that really gets me going.
I am blushing now, who would have thought a prude like me discussing this!

Mintyy Fri 03-May-13 14:35:57

"A prude like me"

my arse

CheeseandPickledOnion Fri 03-May-13 14:37:22

Cake and elQu Sarah is a known MN TS.

CockyFox Fri 03-May-13 14:39:25

I've done it in the past. I don't like it. feels like a backwards stuck poo. Luckily DH hates even the thought of it so no issues there.
OP if you partner is happy with your sex life and so are you then other people's opinion and experience don't really matter.

i did it with my ex. he loved it (and i was younger, experimental, and not tee total), i enjoyed it at the time

the discussion has never come up with dh though, and i cant see that he would be the kind of guy to go for it... though you never know, he might suprise me! (um not literally grin )

i sometimes (once or twice a year) use a vibrator on myself. i do enjoy that, but i can defo live without bumsex grin

honestly cant believe im posting all this, especially as dh is a member too blush

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