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Am I overreacting?

(59 Posts)
HittingTheRoof Sun 28-Apr-13 22:28:27

I have a feeling this may be long and I've namechanged. DP grew up with an alcoholic father (who he hasn't seen for 15 years) and a mother with alcohol problems (regularly drinks until she can't speak, will request wine at strange times of the day and sulks if we don't have any). DP recognises that his DF is an alcoholic but is in complete denial that his DM drinks too much as she still holds down a job and doesn't drink every day.

DP doesn't drink that often but like his mum he can sometimes go way to far once he does drink and end up insensible.

Today we attended a family party, we took 4 mo DS. DP drank a lot, to the point where he was slurring his words and being annoyingly useless, i.e. couldn't pack the car, losing my car keys, asking me stupid questions 8000 times etc.

When we got home he heated a bottle for DS, I went to get it while he made himself and our 2 friends a drink. It was way too hot but he insisted he'd made it the right way and got affronted when I cooled it in a bowl of water. No big deal but his reaction to me cooling it was just a bit hmm.

He then picked up DS and started throwing him about straight after his bottle and drunkenly stumbled over whilst holding him. He managed to hold him up so that DS didn't hit the floor but DP did land on his knees.

I shouted at him to give me the baby and he asked if I was trying to say he was a bad father. I took the baby and he sat down. He then made himself another alcoholic drink to show me he wasn't that drunk, was promptly sick and went to bed at 8pm.

I drove my friends home (took DS obviously), fed DS, made his bottles for the night feeds and washed up from tea all with this face on angry.

DP's still unconscious and it's no use trying to get any sense out of him now. Tomorrow I'm going to read the riot act; it's one thing to have a drink and a good time but he not only fell over holding our baby, he also fucked off leaving me to deal with the responsibility of sorting everything out.

I just needed to write it all down to get it out. I'm not going to LTB but I think we need a major talk and he needs to understand that this a massive deal for me. I had an alcoholic relative when younger and seeing him drunk and behaving irrationally when I was a child had a huge impact on me.

Am I right to be raging or am I overreacting? I am at the point of stomach churning, incandescent anger where you want to wake the person and have it out with them immediately just so that you can let it out.

Isiolo Fri 03-May-13 06:10:23

Come in crons...you've got to be able to see its not about power. Scared and angry for her baby; maternal instinct is to protect your chlld

Lweji Fri 03-May-13 08:40:06

Cron, shouting to protect a baby is being a good parent. Sigh!

If the idiot handling the baby is putting his life at risk and keeps going for the baby, fuck politeness.

Why are you being so dense?

And you haven't answered my question if it was your baby and your drunk wife. Please do.

Lweji Fri 03-May-13 08:42:26

Oh, and he picked up the baby.
The mother didn't pass the baby to the husband.

twentythirteen Fri 03-May-13 08:49:37

If he doesn't wake up ashamed and immediately genuinely change his ways you have a problem. He's an alcoholic. He can't see that his mother is because he thinks his own habit is acceptable.

cronullansw Fri 03-May-13 22:57:10

Lweji

My partner and I are adults and as such are perfectly capable of looking after our children without having screaming fits of tantrums - whether or not alcohol is involved.

Lweji Fri 03-May-13 22:57:54

Still haven't answered my question.

Isiolo Fri 03-May-13 23:10:35

presumably though cron, one of you isnt an alcoholc..

cronullansw Sun 05-May-13 21:08:19

Lewji - obviously not. The first occasion wouldn't have happened, as the sober parent would have been on child duty that night.

See what I mean about behaving as adults?

No fuss, no shouting, just get it done.

Lweji Sun 05-May-13 21:17:16

But that is the point. Sigh.

This drunk man took upon himself to handle the baby!

You cannot seriously be as daft as you seem from your posts.

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