Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What is this behaviour called?

(26 Posts)
haveaquestionplease Sun 28-Apr-13 10:13:08

Ok have spotted a pattern emerging in DH behaviour and wondered if it had a name.
So if he wants a situation to happen that he knows I will not like he does this:
Kicks off at me on some random point and gets nasty (not violent) with me, we have a row because this argument has come out of nowhere.
He then attributes the row to something and gives me the worst case scenario as what will have to happen.
I then retreat and mull over this situation and come to terms with it.
Then he 'makes up with me' and says he has come up with a better solution, (albeit one that I would still hate but still better than worst case scenario) thus he has saved the day!
I accept this second scenario as better than the first one and we get on with life.

The upshot being that the second scenario was always going to be what he suggested but now he has reframed it so I see the second scenario as a good thing because it isn't as bad as the first. Albeit he gets what he wants without the resistance that would have come from me had he just suggested the second scenario in a normal setting because it has been buried in the drama of the argument.

It sounds crazy but I have noticed this behaviour emerging and it's almost like a script.

I wonder if it had a name and yes I know I need to LTB.

Saddayinspring2 Sun 28-Apr-13 16:03:07

Imperial
This was when we were newly married some years ago.. It was mainly because of the long commute he had to drive.
However the downside was I had made lots of friends and got to know the local area while he hadn't as he was working away.
It was selfish of him and he exaggerated to be more forceful about it and get his own way.
He's done it since but I see through it and point it out. I now have a long commute, same distance, no one moves for me.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now