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Will someone hold my hand? Could trigger

6 replies

chipsahoy · 27/04/2013 17:34

All I post about on here is my past, I am sorry for that. It just seems to be the only place where people take abuse and the impact seriously, where women are believed.

I suffer with PTSD, though still undoing official diagnosis, my Therapist tells me I'm textbook. I was sexually abused for a number of years.
Therapy is going well, I'm making lots of progress but feel terrible. I need support, lots of it.

I finally told my family that I'm suffering, but the response has been underwhelming and at times hurtful.

I have difficulties returning to my home town because of the memories and because the person who hurt me is still there. Today (and I assume going forward, will continue to happen) a big family meal was had. I was invited but though I badly wanted to go, could not. I feel left out and hurt.

I saw my Therapist yesterday and I'm feeling awful- fragile, emotional as expected, but I don't have anyone to call to come be with me. My family don't come to visit often and of course they were all together today anyway.
All my old friends are back in my home town, I have no energy nor am i able to be social to form new friendships yet (though hope to change that as I get stronger/ finish therapy). I have a lovely supportive member of the family, but he is 800 miles away. I have my lovely DH and children. I have a nice job I like, a home, and the potential for a wonderful new life. But right now I desperately need support, I feel utterly lonely and sad.

Will someone just hold my hand? Thanks for letting me offload.

OP posts:

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Pancakeflipper · 27/04/2013 17:37

Holds your hand. And puts on the kettle ( withy spare hand) and finds some biccies.

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voddiekeepsmesane · 27/04/2013 18:04

White and one sugar thanks pancake holds chips other hand

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educatingarti · 27/04/2013 18:11

Chips - where in the UK are you (It's OK if you don't want to say) I just wondered if you had been on MN local - maybe there are other mners locally that you could meet up with for a coffee or whatever.

Sorry you are feeling so bad!

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chipsahoy · 27/04/2013 18:30

Thank you all :)

I'm in East Mids. I didn't think to check out Mners local, I'd feel a bit cheeky though, looking for new friends when I need support. Isn't it more about making friends and supporting each other when and if necessary once a friendship forms. I appreciate the idea.

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educatingarti · 27/04/2013 18:59

No need to feel cheeky! You aren't necessarily going to bare your soul at an MN meet-up - just an opportunity to have a bit of a chat with some people living locally. You may find someone you get on with well! Ther may be ways you can offer some non-exhausting support too! I know what it is like to feel you don't have any energy for socialising or helping others, but maybe there's something you could do for someone else that doesn't take too much energy like passing on clothes your DC have grown out of or offering a lift?

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chipsahoy · 27/04/2013 19:07

Thanks, yes, I will have a look. I made a friend through a local forum once, we met weekly for tea and cake, we had pfb who were very similar ages. It was a very relaxed friendship, each others houses, or soft play, library, nothing big like shopping or nights out... sadly she moved away, but if I can do it once I can do it again.