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Dating thread no 52

(1000 Posts)
BillMasen Fri 26-Apr-13 15:11:11

The first one started by a bloke?

KinNora Mon 06-May-13 13:26:24

It's whatever floats your boat, innit - I have a worrying fondness for men who are grammar pedants and are assertive in a bedroom setting, and I don't mean they demand half the wardrobe space. We all like different things.

Pomegranatenoir Mon 06-May-13 13:44:20

oww! what an absolute arse!! And his family are traitors for keeping it from you. No more nice guy from now on. He obviously hasn't got any 'nice guy ness' about him. Worm!!!

Hope you are okay

Winefiend Mon 06-May-13 13:44:23

Your boat sounds very similar to how mine floats Nora. Hard to come by those ones I am finding.

KinNora Mon 06-May-13 14:43:38

Oh aye Wine, funnily enough it took me years to find out that that was what floated my boat, bugger those wasted years.

KirstyWirsty Mon 06-May-13 15:36:28

Date with therockclimber confirmed for tomorrow .. Fingers crossed!!

Happy holiday Monday everyone .. I have my DD and DN both 8 .. We've been swimming , to Macdonalds and to the soft play .. Just had a few rounds of hide and seek and now they seem (finally) to be playing by themselves .. no one around to go in a huff and ruin tge day so it is all good smile

EternalRose Mon 06-May-13 16:10:17

Sounds like a lovely day, Kristy...smile

EternalRose Mon 06-May-13 16:10:31

Kirsty that is!

48howdidthathappen Mon 06-May-13 16:17:38

Kin My ex would be perfect for you. I still fancy the ass off him. Useless wanker at real life though. Guess few get the whole package.

Yep. I am perma knackered grin

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 17:12:50

Feeling pretty sideswiped by all this and that no one saw fit to tell me what I needed to know. Have made financial decisions based on income of x and now it's x - y - child care costs. Feel like I'm sinking a bit and finding it hard to see a way forward.

Am supposed to see Titto's mum and sister at half term but think I will give it a miss. Feel like they've all made a bit of a fool out of me here.

Lots of nice texts from Indie today, been doing the crossword. He's a lovely man. Possibly too nice - think I'm in Nora's camp with the boat floating and last night he was lovely, very considerate and all that but not assertive. Still, give it time.

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 17:19:11

He was adamant about no more children too.

That's quick work, two years and a few months since we split but I bet he was seeing her whilst we were still together, wouldn't be the first time.

No idea what to do about the children, whether to say anything or what. Part of me thinks they have the right to know they have a half sibling, part of me thinks why upset them when the likelihood is they'll never meet. I prefer the truth though as these things come out and in eighteen years there'll be some kid on my doorstep wanting to meet their family. sad

My life is just a huge fucking mess, no idea what to do.

KirstyWirsty Mon 06-May-13 17:21:46

oww don't know what to say but sending a hug {{}}

OhWesternWind Mon 06-May-13 17:27:47

I am a generally a sorted, organised, cautious type of person. Hate chaos or surprises, so I find things like this really hard to deal with. Can't believe my life has turned out like this.

Thank you Kirsty.

God OWW what a horrible shock. Just give yourself a while to absorb this before you feel like you need to make any decisions about the kids etc. ((hugs))

KirstyWirsty Mon 06-May-13 17:45:42

OWW it seems bleak just now but being the person you are you will find a way through it

I think a lot of us (myself included) feel at the mercy of our ex's to some extent and have ended up where we are through no fault of our own

TigsytheTiger Mon 06-May-13 18:29:05

Well said kirsty, OWW that's awful, particularly of his mum and sister to say nothing to you. I would tell the kids and be very matter of fact about it, you could even say - you may never meet them but I thought I should tell you- and then distract them with something else. poor you, money worries are horrible and another thing to add into the mix.
<<hugs OWW>>

Give indie a chance, remember how you were concerned about the lack of kissing on the first date? He seems to be a good normal and considerate man, again the assertive thing may develop when you know him better. You could also tell him that you like that sort of approach grin

KinNora Mon 06-May-13 18:42:20

Sorry OWW, I didn't read your posts until now ( too busy loafing about and trying to keep awake ). Right, first things first - you're in a state of shock, it will take a little while to process and it calls into question your relationship with his mother and sister , quite apart from anything else, but you shouldn't let it cast a shadow over everything in your life.

Look at how strong and capable you've been, look at all the problems you've dealt with and come through, this person is no longer a part of your life, don't give him the power to make you feel bad.

You don't need to make any decisions right now about telling the children, that's for another day.

Big hug, deep breath and remember all will be well.

Flipper924 Mon 06-May-13 19:45:55

((hugs)), OWW, I can't imagine what you're going through. I do know, however, that you will make it through this, because you are fabulous and amazing, and you've come through worse.

Nora, you're up then? Good night, was it?

48, you always sound surprised to be enjoying Mr R&R. You shouldn't be.

Hmm, looks like I'll be seeing Wedding Snogger at the end of June. He's made noises about finishing what we started, but I think he'll have his kids with him then. Ho hum. I'll have had a birthday by then, I'm not sure I can wait until I'm 43 for a shag, anyway grin.

KinNora Mon 06-May-13 19:53:54

How far away does the Wedding Snogger live, Flipper ?

It wasn't a bad night, thank you wink although parts of me are feeling slightly inflamed.

BillMasen Mon 06-May-13 20:23:04

Hi all.
Sorry I've been a bit quiet recently. Busy what with finishing work last week (now a man of leisure for the next few months) and sorting out arrangements for kids (50:50 while I'm not working).

I'm no longer seeing geeky girl. It just petered out really and even given my new found spare time and availability there just wasn't the inclination there to see her so I decided to call time on that one. She's nice, and we might remain friends. We'll see.

So... Tonight I'm on a date. Lets call her the Italian. Odd one as I actually know here through work but I messaged her on POF without recognising her! Oops. To be fair we last actually saw each other at work about 2 years ago. Could have been awkward but, we're on a date, so clearly not too awkward!

I'll try for a loo update later on. She's not here yet (I'm early!)

TigsytheTiger Mon 06-May-13 20:24:34

have fun Bill, hope it goes well smile

KinNora Mon 06-May-13 20:30:13

Good luck Bill, have a great time

TigsytheTiger Mon 06-May-13 20:32:51

you sitting in an ice bath Kin??? grin

OWW what a dreadful shock. Just when you think you're turning a corner something comes to bite you in the ass. These fuckwit exes really do take the biscuit. Mine's been busy introducing the OW to his family. The feedback is she seems 'nice'. Nice women don't shag other peoples husbands who have small children for 2 years though do they.

Bill good luck, looking forward to an update.

I'm nervous about 3rd date tomorrow with Mr TD&H. He's coming here for dinner - eek!

Pomegranatenoir Mon 06-May-13 21:11:07

Oooh good luck bill

Flipper924 Mon 06-May-13 21:21:25

I don't know in miles, Nora, but I know it takes over 2 hours to get there. It's not far from where I grew up (next village from where my parents used to live) and I have friends in the area still. I'm pretty sure he's not looking for a relationship, and while I can do ONS, a fwb arrangement would end up with me getting attached. I think I'm just going to enjoy the flirting.

Go have fun, Bill.

What are you cooking for dinner tomorrow, Dolly?

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