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Dating thread no 52

(1000 Posts)
BillMasen Fri 26-Apr-13 15:11:11

The first one started by a bloke?

Hi lovely thread people

Am feeling slightly ??? about my first 24 hours on OKC. Quite a few messages from people no where near my town, including a lovely one about 300 kms away, several 'U look nice wanna chat x' type crap, the one guy I've been interested in sent me a positive email about my pics, but then nothing (although he did visit) and now nothing. Actually, I shouldn't be bemused, this is all very typical given all that I've read on the dating threads. Still not entirely convinced any of this will actually lead to a date though? confused

Bant any chance Buffy was feeling a bit self conscious about introducing you to her friends? It can be hard work sometimes when 2 different parts of your life come together.

Sorry about your mum 48, hope she is on the mend soon.

Voice sorry to hear you are down, I've been there too far too often. It sounds a bit naff but exercise and fresh air really do work to get you in a better place (even just for a short while).

Am excited for you Juliette grin and engineer sounds a wise move OWW just in case?

Yay re Cuthbert Velvet, hope you have a lovely day.

smoothieoo, being pleased about lack of defuzz hassle may be a sign, probably the time to step back and have a think about what you really want?

spence I would personally avoid the office situation voice of bitter experience

Big weekend waves to rest of thread.

MirandaWest Fri 26-Apr-13 21:49:10

Risotto was Good smile

Bant Fri 26-Apr-13 22:12:00

Hi trying (it's really difficult trying to shorten your name)

the first 24 hours means pretty much nothing. It takes time to learn the red flags, how to shrug off the vanishers, and the weirdos. And OKC seems to be especially bad for long-distance messagers because of the Match scoring ('hi, you're perfect for me. Want to move to Poland?') Don't expect too much too soon and just have fun with it. If it's not fun, as they say...

I thought Buffy may have been nervous to begin with, but she was just quiet the whole evening. I don't know if she's normally like that with her friends, she's not like it with me, and her friends were all loud and boisterous so it didn't seem like it. And when I left to head back to mine I heard them say 'he's really nice, fun guy' to her, which made me feel quite pleased.

meh. She's leaving soon. No point trying to understand her really. I'm just not completely sure I really want to see her again after she was so off.

Miranda - so is Risotto the new codeword for Coffee?

Bant I can't read my name without hearing the song in my head, which is a bonus really. Am going to have to youtube it now. Yes, will keep my eye on the fun (or not), and I guess the same with you and Buffy. At least you've met some new women, which I'm guessing is again, a bonus smile.

Glad you had a good, erm, supper Miranda. Is it wrong to admit that lovely Mr R&R and of course nameless are the main reason I finally joined the world of OD

Oops, I meant Mr Nice too of course, newbie fail

mercury7 Fri 26-Apr-13 23:07:27

24 hours in is very early days I agree!
it has taken me about 6 years to reach my current level of ineptitudewinkskill with online dating grin

Do you think I'm being a bit impatient mercury grin ? Any tips would be gratefully received.

Winefiend Sat 27-Apr-13 00:23:16

Quick check in, haven't had a chance to catch up yet but all is veeeery well. He's opened up within abt 2 hrs of being here and I 'get' him (from my perspective). All bodes well thus far grin

Winefiend Sat 27-Apr-13 00:30:10

VERY well. Crash carp time

mercury7 Sat 27-Apr-13 00:48:08

not really Trying smile
not sure I'm in a position to advise in as much as I'm not sure my 'methods' would work for anyone else
infact I'm not really sure what my 'methods' areblush

KirstyWirsty Sat 27-Apr-13 08:45:25

wine so...? Tell all!

Morning everyone

KinNora Sat 27-Apr-13 09:01:41

Yes do, Wine we need to know ... ( CC is charging)

Kirsty are you still excited about tomorrow and the ceremonial unveiling of Kilty ?

Good morning everybody

VelvetSpoon Sat 27-Apr-13 09:04:23

Morning all!

Had a fab evening with C, who has just left. Am, as ever, v smile

KirstyWirsty Sat 27-Apr-13 09:18:04

velvet I am very happy for you

nora yes I cannot wait .. I've told him this .. He likes my enthusiasm smile

Btw you asked where I found him- POF .. Just hope he is not going to pull a disappearing act after tomorrow .. No indications from him on this he has been talking about learning about likes through trial and error and improving .. Just my last experience from POF (TheAuditor )

Bant Sat 27-Apr-13 09:23:05

Morning everyone.

Any positive news from C, Velvet? Glad you had a good time but, you know, we want you to know where things are going smile

I'm supposed to go to a charity quiz thing this evening, with some of Buffy's friends but not Buffy (as she'll be raving in a field somewhere)

Should be a fun evening assuming I reject the flirty ones advances. Or, let's face it, a different kind of fun evening if I don't

KinNora Sat 27-Apr-13 09:32:14

Big grin Velvet

I bet he does Kirsty and will like it a whole lot more tomorrow. I find the disappearing act ones are quite hard to predict.

Bant it will be fun if you don't regret the flirty one's advances but I can't help feeling ol' Buff will go apeshit ...

KinNora Sat 27-Apr-13 09:33:48

Bollocks - not 'regret' (although possibly that too) but 'reject' .

Bant Sat 27-Apr-13 09:40:22

I think I can control myself smile

VelvetSpoon Sat 27-Apr-13 09:41:49

Kirsty hope tomorrow goes well with Kilty, am sure it will smile

Bant things are with C as they are really, no change, I'm not his girlfriend yet but that's fine with me (for now anyway)

I won't be seeing him for a couple of weeks at least because he is off on hols, but he has promised to bring me back a present. And this morning he fixed a light for me - which I had half done, and was quite able to do myself, but he said he wanted to do something for me....so that made me grin

OhWesternWind Sat 27-Apr-13 09:56:52

Excellent stuff Wine and Velvet smile

How are you feeling about Buffy at the moment, Bant? Maybe she's withdrawing a bit as things are coming towards a close. Have a good time tonight, whatever.

Hey I never had any luck with okc at all - loads of people from abroad or down south, same thing really. Never even got a decent conversation going apart from once with a friendly Buddhist guy. I would honestly recommend PoF - have never had any problems with it at all and have by and large found the men off there to be normal and decent, with the glaring exception of the oddball Italian. You just have to be very selective!

Wishing you all a good morning and a good weekend.

Winefield spill

Hey it is very early days, for some reason the number of prospects seems to vary wildly week to week. It also varies from person to person depending on what you are looking for. Give it time. I you go on POF you'll get a lot more messages but have to sift through all the 'Hi Gawjus' men and potato heads.

Bant whatever happens, it should be an interesting night grin

Velvet really happy you had a lovely time with C and that he is going to spend all his holiday searching for the perfect present for you.

I have the hangover from hell, birthday party last night where I tried very hard not to paw the boy man I've fancied like mad for a year. I didn't realise I'd had so much until I did my own version of the stagger walk of shame home past the local late night shops blush

Bant Sat 27-Apr-13 10:45:37

OWW - I dunno how I feel to be honest. One on one, things were fine, but then she was in a prickly mood the other night when she came here, having not seen her for a week.Then in front of her friends she was pretty much silent. I got the strong impression she was just using me for sex.

I don't have many objections to that, the sex was fine, but as I'm looking for more than just FWB with someone really, and I haven't done FWB before, my way of acting with someone in the early stages of a relationship, dating, whatever, is kind of the usual - get to know each other a bit more each time, talk about childhood memories, funny things that happened, bad things etc - gradually exposing more and more of your soul. You know.

Buffy doesn't really want to do that, it seems. She's put a lid on how much she will expose and it stops there. At some point, she will stop talking and start taking her/my clothes off.

She's got a history of running away from serious relationships. She left the US because someone asked her to marry him. She moved cities in the US before that when someone else did. She's never been in love, and she's early 30s.
I can accept it for what it is for the next couple of weeks, fine. But if she wasn't leaving I'd be pushing for more or calling it quits if I didn't get it.

As far as I see it, she sees me as someone who makes her laugh, makes her come and makes her breakfast. It's not a bad way to spend the next couple of weeks but...

KinNora Sat 27-Apr-13 10:48:52

<asks the universe for a man who delivers everything in Bant's last sentence>

Flipper924 Sat 27-Apr-13 10:59:25

Right, updated my profile on pof with suggestions, thanks again. Hopefully it will mean messages other than

how old your pictures are?

Which is what I got this morning. Really? That's his opening gambit? Humph.

When you find him, Nora, will you ask if he has a brother for me, please?

Wine, I think we need to know more...

Velvet, smile.

WarmFuzzyFun Sat 27-Apr-13 11:13:07

And ask for a twin for your twin Kin please, as long as he does a bit of hoovering, can mend things round the house and take out the rubbish/recycling and is absolutely besotted with me...<---those would be part of the deluxe package grin

Morning all

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