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You know those terrible times when everything goes wrong?

(32 Posts)

Need to get this all off my chest - have finally decided to split from partner of 5 years this week after he told me on Sunday he no longer loves me and prefers going out with friends. Car failed MOT today and no chance of getting another. In exam period of final year at uni and just feeling like my world is crashing down around me

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Tue 02-Jul-13 19:26:52

Well done!!!! How's the (I presume) EX-boyfriend? Looks like he's sucking a lemon ?! :-D

Horsemad Tue 02-Jul-13 14:47:28

Well Done goodtimes - you did it! smile

Wow - fantastic news!
I hope all is going well now.
Well done!

conantg Tue 02-Jul-13 14:24:40

Fantastic!! well done you and good luck for the future.

AlistairSim Tue 02-Jul-13 14:20:12

grin
flowers

big wine

Just like to update this to say that I got First Class Honors today, so a real case of don't let the bastards grind you down!!

cluecu Sat 27-Apr-13 12:43:53

Sorry I couldn't post again last night. Brilliant that you emailed the counselling. Taking steps like that are you taking control and you deserve a pat on back smile

No contact with ex will speed up the healing process. The hole that he's left will heal and be filled with other things and people. You have lots to look forward to xxx

I am sleeping really well at last which is helping. Had no contact at all which is I think the only way to get through, revised all day yesterday and emailed the uni counselling people. These comments are really helping, thanks!

margaritathatcher Sat 27-Apr-13 10:28:23

Poor you!

It's tough but you can get through this because you are strong! Just try to forget the man and concentrate on you. Get lots of sleep, eat properly and take care of yourself. You CAN get a first. Work hard and do your best. It will all be over in a few months and then the world is your oyster... grin

Earthworms Sat 27-Apr-13 10:07:55

Oh, can the counselling was accessed as a drop in service, I didn't even need an appointment for the first contact.

I just turned up and they were amazing.

Earthworms Sat 27-Apr-13 10:04:20

I came on to say please access fre counselling, and mention extenuating circumstances to your tutor but I see that lots of people have suggested it. My uni counsellor was amazing.

I had mental health probs around my exams ( not that of a twatty dp fortunately) and uni were fab about it. Quite happy to extend coursework deadlines, and said they were happy to reconsider any results that fell below my usual standard.

I was allowed to proceed to the next year without a pass in one subject when I wasn't fit to sit the exam. It wasn't a mark that counted to the final result so they just let it go. Like you, I had previous for getting firsts in stuff, so they were quite happy to reconsider stuff that obviously didn't fit my usual pattern.

My additional advice is to follow up any face to face convo with the tutor with an email, just so you have a record.

Sunnywithshowers Sat 27-Apr-13 00:42:03

YY re extenuating circs.

I'm in first year at uni and have been having marital probs - saw my lovely tutor today and he mentioned it.

Big hugs x

ladybrady22 Sat 27-Apr-13 00:41:58

Just a note that if you are going to give any extenuating circumstances, it's much better to do this before the exam. At the university where I work, we give much greater consideration to those who have highlighted any possible issues before the exam. Then if it doesn't have an impact and you get what you hope for, it won't make any difference but it just gives a bit of a back up if you do find yourself affected during the exam.

On a separate note, what an absolute tosser of a man to put you in this situation during such an important time in your studies. He sounds jealous and resentful of your success. My ExH wentout of his way to make life hard for me just as I reached the crucial point in my PhD and couldn't even raise a smile when I eventually graduated. Fortunately, I'm now well shot of him and am enjoying the benefits of working so hard while he remains a lonely, ill-tempered cretin who still can't deal with the fact that I achieved something really important to me.

I know it's a cliche but this really is the start of the rest of your life. Put all your energy into your exams and you'll do a great job. Then in a few months you'll have your degree and you'll be free of this idiot. Who knows what great things lie in store for you? You have it all to come, just stay focussed on your exams now and take support from friends, family and of course here and everything will be okay.

Good luck!

fastdriver Sat 27-Apr-13 00:19:43

I second what someone has said re extenuating circs. Flag up these issues with your uni, go and see someone 'official' and get some support, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on a bit.

Things will get better, you are about to get a degree and you've canned a bad relationship. smile

LemonPeculiarJones Fri 26-Apr-13 23:51:39

Focus on your exams. Definitely sounds like nasty childish envy on his part.

He's done you a favour letting you know what a prick he is. Now you can concentrate on your own talents and opportunities smile

Stay strong and shine.

CoolCadbury Fri 26-Apr-13 23:45:54

Talk to your personal tutor and your uni counsellor about what has happened.

Also, if you do badly in your exams (whether a fail or not doing as well as expected) could you look into applying for exceptional extenuating circumstances? If it is upheld it may allow you to re-sit your exams as if was the first time. Try and find out what the procedure is - you actually have to apply for it within a certain time of the results being published.

Skinnywhippet Fri 26-Apr-13 22:55:04

Get though the exams. It's only another 2 months or so. Then you are free!

Kern I love that post!!
I will definitely check out uni counselling on Monday
Thanks everyone this is really what I need

Kernowgal Fri 26-Apr-13 21:21:53

My ex was particularly awful and demanding around my final degree exams, causing me a huge amount of stress and distracting me from revising. I think a large part of it was down to his jealousy and was definitely an attempt to sabotage my results.

I went on to get a distinction and am now doing well in my career. He, however, was and remains an arsehole.

Confusedhead Fri 26-Apr-13 21:02:45

So sorry this is such a hard time for you, exams are so stressful without other emotional calamities to stress you more.

I think it is a great idea to get the support of a good tutor if you can, and universities often have counsellors available to students free of charge or for a very nominal charge as they are aware of the stresses that students often face at university and the financial pressures they are under. It is worth contacting student welfare to check what is available. I was lucky to have access to a phenomenal counsellor when I split up with my then partner during my post grad.

Good luck and hope things get better soon

ommmward Fri 26-Apr-13 19:27:32

I mean, a free one...

ommmward Fri 26-Apr-13 19:27:22

Your uni almost certainly has a confidential counselling service. Just sayin' smile

Cluecu, i don't think I can afford a counsellor but have some friends who are really helping. Have you got any tips to get through? I'm ok one minute, trying to be positive etc then suddenly start sobbing and feel lost

cluecu Fri 26-Apr-13 18:45:55

sad

I was in that situation a few years ago and even tjou I'd experienced some awful times in my life before this was by fsr the darkest.

Looking back, the key points were to confide in some very good friends and family and also I went to a counsellor.

It got pieced together again and I'm now happier than ever but I couldnt do it without help from others, emotionally.

yes he is a student too (both mature, met on an access course) He had to repeat his second year this year so not sure if he's jealous. i have been revising all day so just hope I can pull it back

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