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for SAHM's?

(79 Posts)
mummyof2kidsx Thu 25-Apr-13 22:20:23

I just wanted to know what the role of a husband and wife should be. The husband is in full time work, the wife is a stay at home mum? In my house I do absolutely everything even when my husband is off... I really do mean everything... all he does is go to work. on his days off he pleases himself...

DuelingFanjo Fri 26-Apr-13 14:44:54

"Was he an only child, and spoilt rotten by his parents?
(I'm not stereotyping onlies btw, I might have an only yet) just curious."

why mention if he was an only child then, you could just ask if he was spoilt by his parents?

to the OP - I would stop doing his washing and ironing - tell him that's what you will be doing.

Squitten Fri 26-Apr-13 15:41:48

You're being treated like a slave OP!

My DH owns a business so he has flexibility in his hours - works every day but can work at home if needed and generally tends to do late mornings/late evenings. Mon-Fri he's generally only here in the mornings so he'll help sort out breakfast and play with the kids while he has his coffee but then he's out for the day. I do all the chores - laundry, cleaning, dishes, cooking, etc, but he will cook if he's here in the evenings, help tidy up if I haven't done it, do baths for the kids. Even at times when the kitchen has looked like a bombsite, he never criticises - just helps fix it!

Weekends he does loads with the kids. I'm pregnant and studying part-time so he often takes the kids out to the park or somewhere so I can study or have a rest. He cooks a lot on weekends, looks after the garden. He pleases himself too - he's often out doing cycling stuff or down the pub of an evening but is also happy to watch the kids while I'm out.

Men like yours are not the norm. Your husband sounds utterly nasty and I really hope that you can get yourself free of him. You can be happy too OP!

Lavenderhoney Fri 26-Apr-13 17:30:26

You resent it because he doesn't treat you with any respect and love, and he won't. You know you deserve better, and frankly you will be better off on your own anyway. Don't let the pattern repeat for your dc.

If he wanted to help, he would. If he wanted to work, he would, even working for p/t for someone, or doing a charity horses for free except for materials, just to get out there. You can't fix him, or take any blame at all for refusing to spend your life like this or subjecting your dc to it.

It sounds like you are mentally preparing to go tbh. Yes, as soon as your parents get back. Start to secretly pack a go bag. All important paperwork. You can always give him copies later on if you want to. And don't worry about cleaning up, if you plan to leave. He can do it.

Duelling, because more often than not, it's onlies that get spoilt!
I know I spoil my ds at the moment, as does everyone else as he's the only 'baby' of the family, but if I had 2 or more, he would less likely to be spoilt, hence the question of was he an only.

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