Title explains it all. I have had 6 Relationships in my life rangeing from 6 months to 5 years.
I give and give. And get nothing back. I'm currently single and having a contemplation pity party. I am thinking about past relationships and am embarrassed about the way they treated me. It's humiliating and I feel about 1 inch tall and completely stupid to have not seen them for what they were. I've been hit, called names, screamed at, controlled, belittled, forced into sex. And lets not forget the cocklodger.
I am pretty blunt, kind of intense due too my brain running 100 miles an hour and a little naive. I don't play games or lead people on, and expect other people to be the same. Then every time the bad things happen, I am shocked. I'm not stupid in life in general. But when it comes to men and relationships, I'm like a naive 14 year old. It still shocks me that they treated me the way they did, I would never even contemplate to do those things to people.
So why do I always attract them? Why can't a nice normal guy who will treat me with respect? I've had counselling and I feel alot better and now have boundaries and know what to look for and what I will/will not put up with. I just don't know how to meet people or have a normal flirtation/dating/relationship.
Am I broken? Damaged goods? Can they spot me a mile off? I am in the situation now where I am suspicious of all men and probably come across weird/rude because deep down I'm expecting them to be arseholes. I have a job, my own house and car, and look after my appearance. I am very independent and socialble but I have no idea about men at all!! One example is a few females friends of mine go through there partners phones regularly and tell them what to do, where they can go, who they can see ete and raise merry hell if their partners don't do as they say. I would never behave like this as I wouldn't like it done to me I've been there already. But this just seems to be the norm in my social circles. I'm pretty laid back and have even had a guy tell me 'my problem was I'm not the type of girl to get a guy under the thumb' because I'm so laid back!!
Sorry it's long and whiney, I'm just so frustrated at the moment! If anyone has some kid words of wisdom I would appreciate them!!
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Relationships
Never been loved.....love too much
3 replies
Sorryimhavingapityparty · 21/04/2013 23:55
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