I have been struggling with a very low libido for quite a while now and have no interest in intimacy or sex at all.
I can't figure out exactly what's causing it - I have a stressful full time job and a ds so am totally knackered at the end of the day and I don't sleep well either so that doesn't help.
Dh and I have been through a rough patch and he has done some things that have shocked me and frightened me in terms of bad arguments. He has never hit me but can be verbally abusive and throws things around, shouting a lot and has threatened to kill himself etc.
However, he has settled down a lot and most of this is in the past and he has worked really hard on it. Every now and again when he gets frustrated he might call me names but apologises very quickly.
I think that what has happened in the past has affected my libido because I was scared of him tbh. I can't seem to move on or forget it and it's causing big problems.
The main point of posting is to get some opinions on what is acceptable in terms of touching and intimacy. For example, during the day he will come up to me and touch my breasts etc and I am uncomfortable with this. He likes a lot of cuddles and affection and quite often makes sexual remarks during the day. For example, he will call me "hot" and it's the last thing I feel as I am overweight and I think I am very unattractive. It actually irritates me when he starts saying nice things about me! I don't know why. I feel in no way like a sexual being and actually don't want to be. I know this is not right. I hate it all. When we wake up in the morning, he just touches my boobs and I hate it.
He says he wants a nice romantic evening and I actually don't know what that is. I sound really pathetic. I have felt quite depressed recently and withdrawing into myself. I crave time on my own a lot and I can't be bothered to talk or anything. I know I'm being really cold and I know it's driving him crazy.
He might send me some sexual texts out of the blue and I can't bear it because it means nothing to me.
What do you think?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is this ok?
gropey · 20/04/2013 13:55
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