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Fed up and unloved!

(11 Posts)
Justgotosleep11 Sat 20-Apr-13 04:23:04

I already know I'm going to sound pathetic so no need to tell me so....

DH and I have been married almost 3 years and have been together 7. We have (the most amazing) 22m DS who both love more than anything....the problem is I think that is the only thing we have in common these days!

DH is self employed and works bloody hard but sadly he thinks because of this he shouldn't be expected to do anything else, including making any kind of effort in our relationship! We struggle for money even though I work 3days (my money swallowed by bloody childcare!) and there is never any money left over for us to just go for dinner/cinema, nice quality time!! Interestingly though there is ALWAYS enough money for him to go out at the drop of a hat and stay out til 3, 4, sometimes 6 in the morn!! Can't remember the last time we enjoyed each others company without DS being there to make us smile! I rolled over in bed this morn to give him a cuddle and his exact words were "why do you always have to annoy me in the mornings!!!!"! Genuinely can't remember the last time he touched me affectionately or told me he loved me! I do everything in the house and work hard but he is the one who "needs chill out time with the boys" as he is main provider!

Feeling very unloved and don't know how long I can stay in a relationship that makes me feel this way! Have old him how I'm feeling but it is constantly dismissed! He said he'd come back early tonight but woke me as he stumbled through the front door at 3.30am and he went to sleep on couch without even coming to bed!

As I said, maybe just feeling sorry for myself but as a 29 year old with a long time ahead I just don't want to be stuck with someone who clearly doesn't love or respect me! sad

Autumn12 Sat 20-Apr-13 04:35:25

You have my sympathy as you know my DH is also being a prick tonight.

Do you have somewhere you can go tomorrow to get out of the house away from him?

Justgotosleep11 Sat 20-Apr-13 04:57:32

Yeah, going to take the munchkin out for the day anyway as DH supposed to be starting renovations to our house...what are the chances of that happening ha!!! He can wallow in his hangover alone!

Autumn12 Sat 20-Apr-13 04:58:35

I would leave him to look after the baby if I were you.

Justgotosleep11 Sat 20-Apr-13 05:09:04

Ha you could be right but have a nice wee day planned! Going try sleep so it isn't a shit day! Good luck!

conorsrockers Sat 20-Apr-13 05:58:32

Hmmm ... I could have written that 9 years ago. Infact, I could write it now, just with more, older children as I am still here!
When I look at his parents they are the same. I grew up in a more outwardly loving, tactile family so I have found it haaarrrrdd to 'get used to'. However, I know we are everything to him and he would never do anything to hurt me (or the kids obviously!), so for me I always think 'the grass is always greener' ... what is his parents relationship like?
No doubt someone will be along soon to tell you that it's some form of abuse and that you should leave the bastard ... grin

blueballoon79 Sat 20-Apr-13 09:32:46

I was just wondering about something op, you say all your earnings are swallowed by childcare, why is this? Does he not contribute to paying for childcare?

I don't think you're just feeling sorry for yourself at all! I'd also feel terribly unloved if I was treated that way.

OhLori Sat 20-Apr-13 14:30:15

He sounds a bit of a man-child to be honest.

If he wants to go out and have no responsibilities and be single which seems to be the lifestyle he is choosing, I would say let him go. He will have to pay child support of course, but that's the reality he will have to deal with. If he continues to stay in this way, in a few years time he will probably have an OW and you will be just washing his socks <guessing here I must add>.

I think the fact that you have such a young child, are working 3 days a week and carrying everyone is a problem.

lemonstartree Sat 20-Apr-13 19:33:26

FFS tell him to man up or fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more. What is the point - for you - of this relationship ? Nada. if there is no point for you as a person - move on... honestly he's a man child arsehole - tell him to get to fuck and build a proper life for yourself and your child

EllaFitzgerald Sat 20-Apr-13 19:45:13

You don't sound pathetic at all. It sounds like a horrible situation to be in and very hurtful to have a cuddle described as annoying.

How long has he been like this?

Justgotosleep11 Fri 26-Apr-13 23:57:41

Thank you for your replies!! As an update...since that night and my venomous expression of disappointment and hurt the next day we have been getting on much better this week and he's been far more helpful around the house! Even said no to a night out tonight!!! Sadly still no touching or cuddles but one step at a time!! In response to what the point in this relationship... Mainly our son! I want him to grow up with both his parents there at night loving him...clearly not if it gets worse and we're fighting in front of him, then we'd be hurting him more I know!

Thanks though

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