Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Unwanted pregnancy,and DH will not talk to me.

(172 Posts)
ohdearhelp Fri 19-Apr-13 21:18:25

I have name changed for this. I also don't think this is the right place but I need help and there is a lot of traffic here.
I have been with my DH for 10 years married for 8 and we have 4 lovely DCs.
I had our youngest 2 years ago and it nearly killed me. I was told after I had him that I could not have any more children. This was fine because we already have 4 and we both know how luck we are to have them.

Anyway I have been ill on and off for about 3 months and I had just put it down to a sickness bug. However DH was worried so I went to my local GP, 2 days ago and it turns out I am pregnant (about 16 weeks gone)with twins. They are small for their age but they are alive and the doctor believes that they are growing.

I am terrified and I had to wait until Dh came home to tell him. He is very upset and when I had finished telling him he got up and left and he is refusing to talk about it at all. I have asked him if he would just sit and talk to me. He said no. I told him that I am scared and that I need hi to talk to me. He said that this was all my fault and he didn't want to talk about it. He left the house and didn't return until late.
Today he has only spoken the bare minimum to me and once the DCs were in bed he just went upstairs.

I have a specialist appointment tomorrow which I have told him about, but he just ignored me.
I have no idea what to do. I need to talk to him about this because they are his babies to. I am so scared and I don't know how to get him to listen to me.
Any help?

JennyFromTheBog Fri 19-Apr-13 22:58:05

Obviously I don't know either way, but y'all always assume everybody is English. I've posted a few things over the years way back now, and then people pick holes in it if it doesn't tally exactly with what happens in the UK. And short of saying, look, i'm south african /Australian/Irish, or living in Spain, it was private, it was at the *mount sainai clinic *ok!? and then totally outing yourself, where you live and what clinic you attended - what can you say!?

BriansBrain Fri 19-Apr-13 22:59:18

Op did say "I went to the GP, two days later it is twins"

Maybe she was referred?

CocktailQueen Fri 19-Apr-13 22:59:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

if shes 16 weeks the dr would probably be able to hear tow babies in there, and possibly measure the tummy or feel them by feeling the tummy

good luck op, guess your going to have to talk to an expert that can tell you all the risks etc and your going to have to try to weigh them all up

best of luck

Who ever that doctor was who told you that if an egg was fertilized the chances of it living beyond a month was next to none - I hope you have his name. And a good lawyer to sue his ass off.

ArabellaBeaumaris Fri 19-Apr-13 23:02:03

it would be a very skilled GP who could pick up two baby heartbeats at 16 weeks. It's very very early.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 19-Apr-13 23:04:01

Just to post here to avoid any more deletions - we currently have no plans to remove this thread and would ask you all to remain within the guidelines
Thanks so much

AmberLeaf Fri 19-Apr-13 23:05:14

Briansbrain, no she didn't

she said;

I went to my local GP, 2 days ago and it turns out I am pregnant (about 16 weeks gone)with twins

2 days ago not 2 days later

FuckThisShit Fri 19-Apr-13 23:05:20

WTF have I been deleted please. I said nothing delete worthy FFS. In fact the person I was agreeing with has her post remaining. Jesus.

gps have those dopplers in the surgerys these days

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 19-Apr-13 23:07:09

I don't understand why I have been deleted either?

AmberLeaf Fri 19-Apr-13 23:07:11

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

????

What on the green earth did I say that warranted deletion?

AmberLeaf Fri 19-Apr-13 23:08:02

Fuckthisshit yes all you said was you agree with me!

Madness.

CocktailQueen Fri 19-Apr-13 23:08:40

Why have I been deleted??? I was expressing disbelief at the medical goings-on that the OP reported. That's all.

LittleFrieda Fri 19-Apr-13 23:08:40

At one very technologically advanced obstetric clinic in Singapore, the obstetricians can detect what the baby is saying to the placenta from about 15 weeks.

FuckThisShit Fri 19-Apr-13 23:09:06

D you know what, I've had the most horrendous week and being deleted for no reason has actually made me fucking cry. I'm so angry.

CocktailQueen Fri 19-Apr-13 23:09:39

lol, Frieda! smile

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 19-Apr-13 23:09:56

<strokes FTS's hair>

Gives Fuck a Hug and Chocolate Hob nob.

There there.

MrsSchadenfreude Fri 19-Apr-13 23:10:40

And good luck OP.

TrampyPants Fri 19-Apr-13 23:10:51

<cuddles FTS>

awkwardsis Fri 19-Apr-13 23:12:22

Fuckthisshit, don't cry. I'm coming at this from an odd perspective. When I found myself unexpectedly pregnant I came here and did a massive 'oh shit' thread. (He's just turned one and a little bundle of loveliness but that is neither here nor there). Someone doubted me, and someone called me stupid. That made me cry. So even if I thnk a thread is complete bullshit, I still remember how awful it was to be calls out as a possible troll. I'd rather you cry than someone (however unlikely) genuine.

I'm curious of the saturday appt especially so soon! I live 5 minutes from my drs and one of scotlands largest hospitals, a teaching one no less and i doubt i'd be seen so fast in any circs envy

Hope your dh comes around.

FuckThisShit Fri 19-Apr-13 23:16:22

Thank you all of you, I feel pathetic now! But I have just opened a bottle of wine so harmony is restored.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now