Please help me. I'm in such a big big mess.
Have been with dh for almost 12years married for past 8.
We have had problems since beginning of marriage, too numerous to list here and don't want the post to be massive.
Anyway. Around 4years ago, I got my head turned by om at work. At first we were friends but realised I was falling in love with him. We talked all the time.
Around 6months after, he told me he was married but separated. And his dw was pregnant. Due in a month. He said they had had a trial period to see if they could patch things up and she ended up pregnant. He apologised etc etc for not telling me.
After a few weeks I started talking to him again. He said he was really serious about me and wanted to marry me. Id told him I wanted to leave dh because of our problems anyway. We had no physical relationship at all btw.
Roll on 4years later. We now have a business together. We have a house ready for me to move into. School organised for my dc.
Dh has found out about om and house etc. he has had suspicions about om but of course I denied it. We have had separate beds for past 5years btw.
Dh wants me to either make it work with him 100% and forget the om and I have to leave my business. Cut all ties. But it's very complicated to leave the business.
Om then tells me a few things after dh found out. He was not separated. He had been living with his pregnant wife at the time he met me. He has been living with her and his Dc up until last year when she moved out with Dc (apparently). I was obviously totally shocked to discover this. Had I known he was married with pregnant Dc, I would have never have gotten into this. I'd been told by him he was separated and saw his dc every few weekends.
Om still wants me to move into house carry on business and once my divorce goes through, he will marry me.
Dh wants us to work on marriage. But I'm not allowed to continue with my business or have any other job. I have to stay at home.
I've studied for years to do my job. I love it. But it's not just about work. I don't know if I can trust om, who knows what else he's not told me.
Dh is a lovely guy but I don't love him.
Please help.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Big mess. Plz help.
GroundHogDayAgain · 18/04/2013 22:21
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