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What does your DP do that drives you crackers (lighthearted)?

(177 Posts)
Lottapianos Wed 17-Apr-13 13:37:46

When I was moving in with my DP 5 years ago, I asked an older colleague for advice about long-term relationships. She said that she had been married for 15 years, and sometimes she and her H were just so in love and life was a bed of roses. Then there were times when she could have murdered him for the stupid stuff he did, and it was even worse because the stuff that bugged her had been bugging her for 15 years!

That's the way it goes with me and DP too. Sometimes I absolutely adore him, sometimes I could scream kill him . Things that are currently irritating the living shit out of me:

- absolutely non-stop bloody singing and whistling
- leaving his hoodies and tracky pants draped over the chairs in the living room for days on end
- sneezing that sounds more like screaming and makes me jump out of my skin
- not turning the TV/radio/computer down when I get in from work so that I have to scream my response at him when he asks 'how was your day?'
- watching every single bastard program that's got anything to do with railways or construction or technology
- on days when it's his turn to cook, asking me what I want for dinner and then whingeing that anything I suggest is too complicated/expensive/boring/something else negative. WELL YOU BLOODY DECIDE WHAT TO COOK THEN! <breathes>

He's really lovely and very sweet but at times my nerves take a shredding!
Come and share your gripes smile

bbface Wed 17-Apr-13 14:22:08

Lottapianso smile

Jaeme Wed 17-Apr-13 14:32:57

Randomly says "Mhmmm" on the end of conversations or after about 45 seconds of silence. Drives me nuts... What made it even worse was going to his parents house for dinner and the whole family do it,

Thanksforthat Wed 17-Apr-13 14:34:36

Comes in from swimming every evening. Plonks 30 year old sports bag on ground. Used to leave wet gear in there to fester but now thinks he's a domestic Goddess because he stuffs his wet togs and grotty towel on to the Radiator in my lovely hallway.
I mean it when I say a part of me dies every time I see the stuff on rad and that rotten d bag in the Hall.
Our laundry room is another 5 steps away hmm

Longdistance Wed 17-Apr-13 14:39:58

He has permanent cotton wool in his ears when I speak to him. I tell him to do something, and it doesn't get done.

Although, atm, he is listening as I am laid up in hospital bed waiting for surgery on my leg, and he has dd's 3.6 and 21 mo.

MarvellousYou Wed 17-Apr-13 15:07:37

Why do some men stand to wipe- DH doesn't realise I know he does but why!? hmm

Lottapianos Wed 17-Apr-13 15:20:19

shock at standing to wipe! Have never heard of this before!

furbaby Wed 17-Apr-13 15:32:04

NeverBeenToMe ... wanky hankies grin grin grin not heard them called that yuk glad he, s your ex now

Fragglewump Wed 17-Apr-13 15:34:11

Neverbeentome.......drops his bogeys in the car footwell???? Bleurgh that is definite grounds for divorce!!!! I feel sick just thinking of it - you are a better woman than me!

Fragglewump Wed 17-Apr-13 15:36:50

Phew just re read your post neverbeentome and it seems you have already divorced him!!! Where does he live now??????

blueshoes Wed 17-Apr-13 15:40:36

Sing out of tune. He seems to be tone deaf.

TiggerWearsATriteSmile Wed 17-Apr-13 15:52:28

How do you know they stand to wipe?

lurkingfromhome Wed 17-Apr-13 15:57:16

What is this bizarre "standing to wipe" phenomenon of which you speak? Christ, every day is an education on MN, that's for sure...

MrsJaqenHgar Wed 17-Apr-13 16:03:03

My DP is a very intelligent man and highly skilled in his professional field. He designs and implements complex IT solutions for multinational companies but apparently cannot:
-correctly load the dishwasher. Just bungs everything in willy nilly and slams the door shut
-open packaging without destroying the entire packet/box
- hang up a towel on the towel rail
- have a shower without turning the bathroom floor into a paddling pool
- put dirty underwear in the laundry bag. For some inexplicable reason, he leaves them beside the bag, but never in it regardless of how often I tell him to use the fucking bag angry

But other than that, he's practically perfect grin

ShootingStarsss Wed 17-Apr-13 16:16:24

Oooh this is a good thread grin

He leaves his clothes where he takes them off.

When he cooks he uses every plate/saucepan and kitchen utensil in the house and you can't see the kitchen sides!

He has to have the TV on to fall asleep! I hate this.

He rubs his foot on the bed sheets whilst trying to get to sleep soooo annoying.

He doesn't clean the bath after using it.

Never puts things back in there place so looses things ALL the time confused

Sees the bin is full & still does not empty it to take it out just keeps piling things in it grrrrr.

I am sure there are many more but I need to go out.

recall Wed 17-Apr-13 16:36:50

Mine is like a Nan

- Feels the slightest draught on his legs and asks if there is a door open

- wears his jumper over his shoulders and tied at the front

- enjoys the odd port and lemon

- wears his sunglasses on top of his head

- places horrid ornament things and coronation mugs in a cupboard with glass doors, looks very display cabinet like to me and I hate it.

TapirsTickleMeYoni Wed 17-Apr-13 16:44:31

Great thread!

He has to go to the loo before he leaves the house, even if it's just to take the bins out.

He is obsessed with the recycling bins, and can be found peering into the bins/rooting through them to make sure everything is where it should be.

He's a stickler for having the dishes/washing up done as soon as humanly possible, to the point of letting his food go cold as he makes sure that the pans etc are cleaned.

He tracks the dcs clothing, and complains if an item goes through the wash too often.

He likes to plan ahead - so if we're going on a day out, what we're doing & going has been 'timed' out in his head; if there's any deviation from this then he gets very stressed. He also refuses to take the traffic/weather or other issues into consideration and doesn't tell anyone else of the fine details of this plan of his. hmm

I refuse to countenance buying a dishwasher - his control freak tendencies would swing way out of control.

fishcalledwonder Wed 17-Apr-13 16:49:20

Mine does many annoying things, but the one that will one day result in me spending a long stretch at Her Majesty's pleasure is the throat clearing.

Lottapianos Wed 17-Apr-13 16:57:42

'He likes to plan ahead - so if we're going on a day out, what we're doing & going has been 'timed' out in his head'

Oh dear, I do this one blush I'm not quite as anal about it as I used to be but I am definitely a planner. I'm hassling DP about where to go for our anniversary dinner which is a month away! I'm sure that would go on his list of things I do that drive him postal

TapirsTickleMeYoni Wed 17-Apr-13 17:54:18

I plan too, but it's not a set in stone thing, more of a guideline (IYSWIM)
I think most people do it, it's just that he gets very caught up in ensuring we stick to this invisible, inflexible plan of his that he forgets to enjoy himself.

He's anal enough that he likes to plan what he's going to eat at a restaurant before we've actually got there and looked at the menu!

<sigh> It's an issue he's working on grin

seriouscakeeater Wed 17-Apr-13 18:58:14

lol great thread! My lovely DH....

-Makes a pile of toes nail clippings when im not in and all ways forgets and leaves them on arm of couch

-NEVER washes cutlery..they are left soaking....

-Pees all over seat and NEVER wipes it up, so when I get up in middle of night to wee, I'm 38 weeks pregnant, I get wet bum/legs/feet angry sad

- Eats so fast he is out of breath when he has finished

-Throws undies/pilliows/socks in my face every night whilst jumping in to bed ( actually made me shout and cry a little the other night, I hate is so much) hormonal rage

shouts to show me if he has had a extra large pooh blush

But other than that he is a star!! Rubs my feet nightly with out having to be asked so kinda cancels out most of the above

Kione Wed 17-Apr-13 19:43:24

Has kept and moved to about 5 different places:
- Dozens of hideous old T shirts, they take a whole chest of drawers abs shelves on a cupboard in the spare room
- Dozens of ties from.his first one from.school in a box
- Dozens of hats, he must ave 30 or 40 and he does the huge effort to give one each Christmas for the shoe box they make at wirk. So around 30 years to go to get rid of them...
To be honest, I dont think he has thrown anything out in his life.
His sneezes are tiny but his cough is exactly as you lit describe the sneezes. He distorts his mouth, falks forward and lifts his feet from the floor, and sounds like a very old nearly dead giant goat

BettyStogs Wed 17-Apr-13 19:56:12

Chooses what to watch on tv in the evening then falls asleep on the sofa 10 minutes in, but then I've already missed the start of what I wanted.

When offered a choice e.g. do you want to do A or B just answers 'yes'

Snores

Clothes on the floor

Clandy Wed 17-Apr-13 20:05:56

Firstly- wtf! I thought everybody stood to wipe.... shock

Dh: leaves the dishes he can't be bothered to clean "soaking", leaving me to root around in manky dish water later on.
Announces with great grandeur every single time he goes for a poo, then can spend up to 40 minutes doing one.
Sings all the flipping time
Cannot just sit even for a minute
Slaps my bum constantly, I know it's only cos he loves my derrière, but still it's flipping annoying especially while I'm cooking!

NuhichNuhaymuh Wed 17-Apr-13 20:09:52

he's the loudest, slowest eater in the world. makes me want to kill him "crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch", that's one mouthful.

Got to ask what's supposed to be mad crazy at standing to wipe? people are either standers or sitters, it's not an odderty!

wispa31 Wed 17-Apr-13 20:38:47

this thread has made me lol!

my ex irritated the fuk clean out of me. fuk knows what i ever saw in him tbh
he always chewed food noisily, there were times i actually had to leave the room as i wanted to batter him
always left the wardrobe door open. it was a slide robe thing with mirrored doors, drove me mental when it wasnt closed fully.
always criticised my driving everytime i drove us anywhere. he was a lorry driver and thought he was god behind the wheel.
always took ages to leave the house when going out, always had to go back and check doors and switches.
he snored.

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