What does your DP do that drives you crackers (lighthearted)?

[Lottapianos]

When I was moving in with my DP 5 years ago, I asked an older colleague for advice about long-term relationships. She said that she had been married for 15 years, and sometimes she and her H were just so in love and life was a bed of roses. Then there were times when she could have murdered him for the stupid stuff he did, and it was even worse because the stuff that bugged her had been bugging her for 15 years!

That's the way it goes with me and DP too. Sometimes I absolutely adore him, sometimes I could scream kill him . Things that are currently irritating the living shit out of me:

• absolutely non-stop bloody singing and whistling
  
• leaving his hoodies and tracky pants draped over the chairs in the living room for days on end
  
• sneezing that sounds more like screaming and makes me jump out of my skin
  
• not turning the TV/radio/computer down when I get in from work so that I have to scream my response at him when he asks 'how was your day?'
  
• watching every single bastard program that's got anything to do with railways or construction or technology
  
• on days when it's his turn to cook, asking me what I want for dinner and then whingeing that anything I suggest is too complicated/expensive/boring/something else negative. WELL YOU BLOODY DECIDE WHAT TO COOK THEN!
  

He's really lovely and very sweet but at times my nerves take a shredding!
Come and share your gripes

[Sariah]

breathe

[DaysieGoneBananas]

His absolute OBSESSION with his bastard XBox. He finds it incomprehensible that I don't want to listen to the same sodding Monologue 50 times until he reaches his achievement aaaand breathe

[Lottapianos]

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

He has no memory at all. If he goes upstairs and I ask him to bring something down on his way he will totally forget within seconds and then has to go back up.

He leaves the kitchen cupboards open.

He leaves his trousers wherever he takes them off, he just shakes them down, steps out and walks on :o drives me nuts.

I love him loads though. So its not that bad!

[Gumps]

He has been working from home today. Baby is asleep and he has just sat and tried to talk to me. Clearly what I want is a cup of tea and half an hour of peace --mn-

[Pilgit]

that he is yet to discover that doors and drawers close as well as open - i have frequently informed him of their magical properties but he thinks it's a conspiracy!

[NoMoreMarbles]

Is your DP my DH?

my DH regularly does the following...

-leaves his trousers draped on chairs in the dining room and leaves his socks balled up on the floor nearby and shoes out...

• picks his feet whilst watching TV
  
• he stands to wipe his bum (TMI i know but it bugs the shit out of me)
  
• he asks EVERY DAY where DD's underwear/clothes/school bag is...
  
• He sits with a face on if hes annoyed but REFUSES to say what is up big baby
  

I regularly feel like kicking him in the nuts but i don't because i love the stupid sod

[Lottapianos]

'He leaves his trousers wherever he takes them off, he just shakes them down, steps out and walks on drives me nuts'

Ditto in my house. This is why tracky pants end up draped over back of chair, he gets too hot so just strips off. These days with the weather being warmer, I've been coming home to find him in T-shirt, pants, socks and slippers

Thought of one more thing:

When we do the dishes, if he is drying, he puts stuff on the counter as he dries it but never ever ever puts it back in the goddamn cupboards
And if he is washing, he never ever EVER drains the water out when he is finished, so it's still sitting there, cold and grimy, 3 hours later

This is therapeutic

[Squitten]

He washes up a load of dishes - but never washes any cutlery

He leave his clothes on the bedroom floor - instead of in the hamper that is RIGHT THERE

He always has to take twice as long to work out how to do things by himself instead of reading the instructions

Memory of a goldfish

[Lottapianos]

'leaves his trousers draped on chairs in the dining room and leaves his socks balled up on the floor nearby and shoes out...'

Forgot the balled up socks on the floor!

[lurkingfromhome]

Oh where to begin ... he is the most wonderful man in the world, but

• YY, the sneezing, oh the sneezing. Melodramatic, at full volume, always in threes, followed by sighing and groaning and huffing as if something Very Serious has happened. Man up, it's just a sneeze!
  

• We settle down to watch a DVD on our clanky old DVD player that takes an age to get going. Only after we have switched it on, stuck the DVD in, waited for it to get going, gone through all the ads and the other nonsense and got to the very first scene of the movie does he every single time say "Do you mind if I just pause this for a sec while I go and get a glass of wine?"
  

• Never ever ever throwing anything out. It is only because we are lucky enough to live in a house with lots of cupboard space that we have not featured on a Channel 5 documentary about hoarders. We have a stack of pointless pieces of foam rubber/bits of wood/random lengths of wire/ancient frying pans that have come with us from house to house and have never once been used but have gone straight into the back of a cupboard.
  

• Refusing to go and have his eyes tested, even though it's free, and instead buying hideous reading glasses in random strengths out of the pound shop. Might I add that this is not out of economic necessity in any way, but just out of ... actually I have no idea. It is just insane.

[BastardDog]

Where to start?

• Has the TV on far too loud.
  
• Has the TV on all the time.
  
• Watches any old rubbish and drivel programme rather than just turn it off.
  
• Snores.
  
• Eats spicy and garlickey food all the time and wonders why I don't want to kiss him.
  
• Always sneezes four times in succession, into his hand, which he then washes in the kitchen sink.
  
• Never puts anything in the dishwasher, just piles it up next to the sink.
  
• Has a go at our son over nothing, but our daughter can do no wrong in his eyes.
  

I could go on, but I'm winding myself up now.

[DaysieGoneBananas]

Complete inability to comprehend that pulling the duvet up on his side is not making the bed.
Says things like 'I've put the clothes upstairs for you' AND puts all the clean clothes on the floor upstaies for me to 'put away when you've got a minute' grrrrrrrrrrr

[DaysieGoneBananas]

Quick where's that bag gone ...

[NeverBeenToMe]

My (ex) husband would:

whistle when going to answer the front door. No other time!

stir, stir, stir, chink, chink, chink when making a cuppa.

make a funny noise from his jaw when eating

pick his nose in the car and drop his bogeys in the footwell

leave his (what I called) wanky hankies under his pillow


Gross little man.

[Lottapianos]

lurking, the sneezing is horrendous, isn't it? My DPs usually come in batches of 7 or 8, absolutely no idea what triggers it . The DVD pausing has just made me laugh a lot but would drive me utterly insane too. DP also refuses to get eye tests or any form of healthcare at all - no idea why!

[Dfg15]

LTBs!

[droopytulip]

Loud sneezing (DD has picked up on this and is even louder at just10) Whistling.
Talking non stop about work and co workers who I have never met.
Sits like a girl crossing his legs or all scrunched up on the sofa like he's watching a scary horror (man up)
Cutting me off mid sentance with crap that has nothing to do with what I was sayiny proving he hasn't listened to a thing I have said (MIL does this too)

[bonzo77]

Oh the melodramatic sneezes! And now DS2 aged only 4 months FFS does it.

[Lottapianos]

4 months!

[PregnantPain]

Everytime he baths DD he forgets to drain the bath so I have to drain it and scoop out all of her toys so I can have a shower.

Eats the stinkiest food ever (my nose is extra sensitive though to be fair)

Does the washing up but I always end up having to clean the sink as he leaves all the little remnants of food to clog up the sink

Leaves his rubbish everywhere, plus dirty clothes in the bathroom when he has a shower (I am a bit guilty of this too though, but it's more irritating when he does it:o)

Always misses the wash basket. Dumps any clothes I ask him to take in there next to it

[bbface]

I love DH, I really truly love him, but wow wee, he can frustrate me like no one else can!

Getting ready to take the children out at the weekend (they are 2.5 and a newborn). To stick vaguely to a routine and to avoid tantrums and crying, we often need to be out of the house by a decent time. mHowever DH has no concept of speed. I will rush around like a blue arsed fly getting things ready, and then walk in on him in the bedroom sorting out a random cupboard that he has been meaning to do for ages, or thoroughly cleaning the kitchen knives, sewing in a button on a coat that he has not worn in ages, or some other job that is of no consequence at that precise time whatsoever.

To a lesser extent, the way he never focussed on a programme or film. Instead is constantly surfing the net or on his phone.

Finally, he is a pedant of the highest order!

Honestly, other than that, I don't think there is anything that frustrates me about him. He is a good loving gorgeous specimen of a hubby.

[Lottapianos]

Ok, I think you are describing my DP bbface - that is spooky! I wonder if we have a 2.5 year old and a newborn that I know nothing about

'Instead is constantly surfing the net or on his phone.'
This is just the worst. He has no attention span anymore, it's all been ruined by obsessive computer use and smartphone addiction

[bbface]

Droopy tulip.... That sounds awful. Bizarrely, particularly how he sits!

[bbface]

Lottapianso