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Parents hinting that you should provide for them financially

(26 Posts)
Bedtime1 Fri 12-Apr-13 17:03:47

This one is about my mum but my dad often hints at this too.

Over the years mum has run up lots of debts, been free of the debts, then done it all over again.

I went out with her last night and she said she's been checking her credit file. She said she's checked hers and her currents debts/ defaults etc should be off in 3 years. Apparantley they stay on for 6. Then she said she has checked what mortgage she would be able to get if she lived on her own ( she has a partner but they don't get along) she said on her own shed get 46k with her partner shed get 120k. This is based on a repayment mortgage over 10 years. Based on hr retiring. The thing is she has a nice cottage and she has one other property which is rented out but they have both lost equity. The buy to let if she sold now would only break even with noting left. The house that she lives in would have a bit of equity maybe 20k.
She lives in a nice area but within that area she wants to live in a nicer part, she then went on to say could I invest in a property for her, which she had in mind I pay some deposit and she does then shed pay the repayment mortgage and then we would have a share in equity when it gets sold.
The problem I can see with her idea is that she wouldn't want to move so be there maybe 30 years. She doesn't get on with hr partner so if they split up she wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage so who then would? My my mum has narcisttic traits.

Thing is we are doing okay as a couple my husband and I but she is also doing okay. Eg I don't see she's struggling as she has two nice properties in nice areas. She's trying to make out it would be an investment but how is it if she's living in the investment and then we would see none of our initial investment for years and years. If it was an investment you'd rent it out and get some income or you wouldn't tie up your money for 30 years. Eg she knows if she lived in the house you wouldn't ever be able to sell it.

Anyway I feel a bit peeved that she's asking me for money to buy into a home for her, dressing it up as an investment when she has her own homes etc. do you think this is cheeky? I've posted on here before about my parents.

What I'm trying to say is. Is she trying to guilt trip me? You see we are doing better financially. Am I right in thinking its cheeky. I mean she's my parent. If I did want to help my family in the future. ( I mean it's not like she needs any help with having two nice properties) then shouldn't that be my choice to think that not told too and also made to feel bad. Also made to feel bad because I'm doing okay. I mean my mum has had lots of money in the past. Both have good jobs and she lives in nice areas but then she always makes out that she's hard done by.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 13-Apr-13 09:38:44

I think the phrase is 'nice try Mum'....

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