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Relationships

waa i being unreasonable?

17 replies

chocoholic89 · 07/04/2013 23:14

Since having our baby I have found my bf irritating.He doesn't help one at all and when he comes to see us he just sits there and that's it.Today he came and just got in my bed+ I wanted to go out for a walk as it was a nice day he didn't so I got ready and said ok u will have to go home if u are not coming so he did! I don't see what he is bringing to this. Relationship any more was I wrong to call it off?

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bluecarrot · 07/04/2013 23:26

Some people need a little guidance. Perhaps its the case here? Have you asked him to do anything specifically? Did you stay in with him for a while. Perhaps he was a bit miffed that he had come over to see you and you just wanted to go out.

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madonnawhore · 07/04/2013 23:35

WTF bluecarrot?!

This guys sounds like a waste of space. He does fuck all to help with his child and he'd rather spend the day in bed than out with his family.

OP it sounds like you did the right thing.

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chocoholic89 · 07/04/2013 23:37

He just come round and got in bed I was with our lo in living room no hold of baby no do u need anything doing? So I just wanted to spend bit of time going together.May sound a bit trivia but I think I have let him get away with too much we use to do loads together going out ect before our lo and now he can't even come for walk in park :-(

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madonnawhore · 07/04/2013 23:39

OP it sounds like he's not good enough for you or your DC.

If he can't be bothered to act interested then you're both much better off without him.

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Booyhoo · 07/04/2013 23:39

have you ended the relationship?

has he changed just when the baby was born or was he like this before? why isn't he there in the night/mornings looking after the baby?

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TrippleBerryFairy · 07/04/2013 23:48

Am i right in thinking this is his LO too?... He's having hus cake and eating it-he's single as far as he is concerned, comes and goes as he pleases, no responsibilities, no obligations. How wonderful for him- you take on all the new responsibilities while he essentially remains free single unburdened man! What a c*k. And you need him why? Does he pay any money towards LO?

Wasteof space is you ask me. He obviously doesnt want a family, just come, get sex if he wants so and go! How convenient!

You are better without him methinks.

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chocoholic89 · 07/04/2013 23:52

We did live together but I moved out when I was pregnant didnt think the house was suitable for a baby so he moved to his parents I got my own place.So not a lotta support as u can tell.

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chocoholic89 · 07/04/2013 23:53

Mozerela u have hit the nail on the head

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chocoholic89 · 07/04/2013 23:57

He has bought few things and his family are also great with us but its just him he says he loves us blah blah blah just the thought of him pisses me off

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Flojobunny · 07/04/2013 23:58

When you got your own place, why didn't he moved in to that instead of his parents?

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Flojobunny · 08/04/2013 00:00

He sounds like a complete waste of space but if he's always been like this then its possible you have PND that's causing you to be more irritated than you were before baby, although for me lack of sleep would be enough!
How old is Lo?

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chocoholic89 · 08/04/2013 00:04

Because he didt want to move so I did in my own then later down line he couldn't afford it.

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TrippleBerryFairy · 08/04/2013 00:06

He doesnt want it, thats the bottom line. Seriously, it could be anyone instead of him- and you actually might end up with a boyfriend who WANTS to be a family with you.

Cut your losses now, i presume LO is still a baby and move on. You will find someone better and there's no upheaval as your baby wont know any different.

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Booyhoo · 08/04/2013 00:08

well i think it's time to make a decision OP. you either accept that this is your life and you tolerate him coming and going as he pleases and giving you no support, or you kick his ass out and stop letting him drain your emotional energy just by being there and causing bad feeling.

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chocoholic89 · 08/04/2013 00:10

Maybe? I just put up with it and looked after him and didt realise how much I did for him before Lo came along? Lo is 7month.

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izzyizin · 08/04/2013 00:16

Why did he feel the need to get into your bed today, and why did you let him or did he just take himself off and put his pyjamas on, so to speak?

I'm guessing he tied one on last night and when his dm reminded him he was meant to be visiting you/his dc he thought 'i'll get some kip there' and took himself back to his own bed when you made it clear he wasn't going to be able to use yours to sleep off his excesses.

I suggest you fit a lock to your bedroom door to nip that little jape in the bud and arrange to meet him out of your home, in the park or other baby/child friendly venue, when he next feels like using it as a doss house making what is obviously no more than a booty duty call on you.

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chocoholic89 · 08/04/2013 00:17

If we had a little fall out it would once break my heart I'd b a wreck but I'm not boverd at this minute.I felt quite relieved when his reply was 'i can do better! Coming from a guy who loves me.Nice to know that having his baby means so much to him!

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