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Am I right to be annoyed by this?

(67 Posts)
Mouseyinmyhousey Sat 06-Apr-13 10:26:14

There is history here but I don't want to go into it all because I want to ask opinions on just this. Otherwise people will all just be saying he's a waste of space anyway.

Basically my p was really ill starting Monday with flu like symptoms, he was really, really bad, with fever, aching and even threw up. By Wednesday I'd caught it too and we've both been terrible. P seems to be over the worst now but today ds (4) has got up really ill, high temp and vomitted.

The reason I'm upset is the way p has acted. First he said he thinks he got ill because he hasn't had his hair cut and can't wash it properly, which I think is ridiculous because it's only regrowth from a normally number 1 cut. Then he said he thinks he's got ill from pulling the fridge out at the weekend as we cleaned behind it and it was all dusty. He's been having a go at me for taking paracetamol and ibruprofen saying that they're making me worse, even though I feel that they bring me fever down and relieve my headache.

Last night he really upset me, I went up to bed first and spilt some of my glass of water on the duvet as I was weak and shaky. The duvet was folded over and the water would have been directly on p when he came to bed, so I flipped the duvet over so that the water was on my side but on the top. P came up a bit later and started having a moan about why the quilt was the wrong way over and how he couldn't sleep like that, I told him why but he said we'd have to flip it back, turn it round and meaning I'd have the wet patch on my feet, I said I didn't want the cold wet patch on my feet and he was yelling saying I'd have to curl up and it was my fault for spilling the water and how he couldn't sleep as the top of the duvet cover was bobbly and irritating his skin.

Today he'd planned to get his hair cut and then do some work round his sisters new house, fitting some electrics which will take the whole day. I was fine with this but as ds has got up and is now really poorly too, I thought he should give the electrics a miss and give me a hand.

The house is like a bombs hit it because we've both been so ill all week. P made himself a dinner last night and there isn't a thing clean in the kitchen and he's just left it all.

I'm fed up of him, there's loads of diy jobs that need doing here but he spends half of his time doing jobs for his family instead.

I basically said as ds is now ill too and I still feel terrible couldn't he stay but he just went off on one said he's still ill too so what use will he be, and apparently it's my fault ds is ill for cuddling him.

I just really fucking hate him right now.

Hissy Sat 06-Apr-13 17:14:49

Go out and get your son some calpol. the poor mite could do with som relief, and to have a man that makes him sit in his own vomit, and delays getting him medicine that will make him feel better is a complete arsehole.

He'll destroy you, and your DS, and no Dick is worth that. Tell him to stay at his sister's and you'll pack some things for him to collect when he can be bothered.

deliasmithy Sat 06-Apr-13 17:15:47

He thinks that prioritising medicine for his child over some diy is stupid.

That, I think says it all.

Mouseyinmyhousey Sat 06-Apr-13 17:18:22

Harsh pp?

I've no idea if there's mental health or he's narc, he certainly does have strange logic on things and can lack empathy.

I did pull him up on saying he's got ill from the fridge or his hair, and explained it was more likely spread from someone sneezing nearby or germs from touching something but he just says I'm making him out to be thick and taking the piss out of him.

He hasn't bothered coming back so is no doubt off sulking somewhere as he really cannot see he has done anything wrong.

Mouseyinmyhousey Sat 06-Apr-13 17:19:43

Sorry the harsh was to awesome. Although I'd probably say the same thing.

Mouseyinmyhousey Sat 06-Apr-13 17:25:28

Thanks hissy and Delia. I did have some calpol but it was the infant one for 2 month plus. It hadn't been opened I'd picked up the wrong one a while ago but it has brought ds fever down.

The thing is p would probably say ds doesn't need calpol. He doesn't seem to understand how medicines work. He has no idea how many to take etc. He told me to stop.taking paracetamol and ibuprofen as it was probably that making me ill.

duende Sat 06-Apr-13 18:26:02

Mousey why does he not understand how medicines work...?

ClaireDeTamble Sat 06-Apr-13 18:37:04

Infant calpol is the right one for 4 year olds. The next one up is for 6 plus.

He just needs 10ml rather than 5ml.

floatyflo Sat 06-Apr-13 18:44:54

My goodness he sounds about 15 years old.

Not getting out the bath for ill child, fussing over the way the duvet lies because he can't sleep shock, his insensitivity towards the death of your aunt, and going off in a strop like a little madam.

If he hasn't got issues, and that's just the way he is

LTB

AlfalfaMum Sat 06-Apr-13 18:50:13

His behaviour towards you and DS is horrible and selfish. He doesnt deserve to be a part of your family.
Please don't let your DS grow up thinking this is normal, acceptable behaviour.

Awesome's post was tongue-in-cheek.

CelticPromise Sat 06-Apr-13 19:02:31

He sounds like an arsehole. You don't have to put up with it! I wouldn't be stopping at annoyed, I'd be asking him to leave.

He's putting you down all the time, does he ever accept that you're right or see your point of view?

Angelico Sat 06-Apr-13 19:08:56

I don't actually understand why you're with this man. Sorry OP. You've had a shit week but maybe it will help clarify what a twunt he is.

Start making an exit plan. This man won't change. Don't let your DS grow up thinking this is normal. You owe more to yourself and your DS than you do to this prick.

Mouseyinmyhousey Sat 06-Apr-13 19:24:15

Ah for some reason I thought that there was an age two plus. Well I have got some in but p didn't realise that.

He's text saying that if I say sorry maybe he'll come back. I said he's the only one who can't see how horrible it was to bugger off out all day leaving me to the house in such a state his response was f off and its my fault ds is ill for cuddling him and I must have wanted him to get ill. Just gets nicer doesn't it.

I'm just trying to make the most of the peace and quiet and rest while I think what to do next.

Undertone Sat 06-Apr-13 21:20:19

Oh for crying out loud - just end this terrible relationship. He sounds horrible and that he doesn't even like you at all. How bloody depressing would it be to know that every day for the rest of your life would be with this man? You've given him a chance to change, he hasnt, so get rid.

cees Sat 06-Apr-13 21:37:51

He is a prick, plain and simply, normal caring loving partners do not act like that. Save your son from growing up with that pig in his home and find the strength to kick him out before your child is damaged by this nasty selfish man.

LemonPeculiarJones Sat 06-Apr-13 21:40:37

He's just awful. You know that. Why agonise any more? What's the point?

Don't drag it out any longer.

Mouseyinmyhousey Sat 06-Apr-13 21:47:24

Why can't he see how horrible he's being? sad

I didn't know if I was being ott but the responses here and his attitude since have confirmed to me I'm not.

MrsBombastic Sat 06-Apr-13 21:50:16

I think he sounds like a selfish, deluded, spoilt prick!

If you can get rid of him do it.

With an attitude like that he's no good to you or DS.

SanityClause Sat 06-Apr-13 21:58:36

You have to say sorry before he will come back?

Well, that's easy, then......

Fairenuff Sat 06-Apr-13 23:05:00

I did tell him last time it was his last chance

Why?

Why did you say that op?

You clearly don't mean it.

No wonder he doesn't take any notice of you if keep saying things you don't mean.

This man doesn't care for you at all. But you know that, don't you?

clam Sat 06-Apr-13 23:58:41

Let me get this right, he seriously thinks that you can pick up a flu virus by not being able to wash longer hair properly and moving a fridge? And he doesn't understand that Calpol/paracetamol/ibuprofen etc.. can help bring a temperature down and relieve symptoms?
Well, if you are "making him out to be thick and taking the piss out of him." I don't blame you, to be honest. That's how he's coming across.

DoctorAnge Sun 07-Apr-13 00:08:02

He sounds like a total looser. Your poor son.
Can you not just boot him out and spend some time bonding with your little boy?

ChasedByBees Sun 07-Apr-13 00:19:28

Horrible horrible man. LTB.

deliasmithy Sun 07-Apr-13 00:31:27

Mousey,

This man is giving Dads a bad name at the mo.

His text indicates he needs a bit longer to think about things.

whethergirl Sun 07-Apr-13 00:42:13

Mousey nothing you could say about him would change my mind about the fact that he is a horrible person, and as for the flu theory stuff - I don't what to make of it. Either he has got some kind of OCD thing going on or another mental health disorder or he really is very stupid.

Not even on my worse of the worst PMT days (and I can be a deranged bitch) would I blame my ds, or anyone he had cuddled, for being ill. When either me or ds are ill, we still cuddle, it can't be avoided! Nor would I think about anything else except getting medicine for my ds if he needed it. And I couldn't sit there having a soak while my poor ds was vomiting. Nor could I make anyone sleep with a wet duvet on them.

He is seriously lacking in empathy, and I don't think it's normal.

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