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Fancy a date

(45 Posts)
boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 09:22:38

......Bald and pasty and old and ugly...the old boy from Ipinema goes waddling...and when he passes, each girl he passes goes 'Christ look at the state of that'........

Reading through some of the posts on this forum about dating disasters I've been inspired to put my head above the parapet and see if any single women reading this fancy a date? I'm in the London area, late forties and still have my own teeth.
Ladies please form an orderly queue.

TerrysNo2 Fri 05-Apr-13 21:41:27

My biggest concern (aside from being happily married) is that you've spelt Ipanema wrong.

I hope another, unmarried mumsnetter with a relaxed attitude to spelling gets in touch grin

good luck!

boyfromipinema Fri 05-Apr-13 17:43:21

My cousin's ready to drop so the pram would come in handy.
At least that way she can't say I haven't contributed to my kid's upbringing eh?

akaWisey Fri 05-Apr-13 17:22:58

Stop it NOW boy

I've got an old pram needs a place to rust away in. Shall I bring it round after I've unloaded the shopping from it?

EternalRose Fri 05-Apr-13 17:19:19

Oh damn, and there is me hoping you really were the trampoline instructor at an all girls school....

boyfromipinema Fri 05-Apr-13 17:15:02

I've got a lovely garden. Some great garden features, all subtly positioned for maximum effect.
There's the discarded fridge by the back door, and the roll of carpet over by the fence, and I'm even considering getting a burnt out car installed for the summer.

onefewernow Fri 05-Apr-13 17:11:03

And if you can garden?

onefewernow Fri 05-Apr-13 17:10:39

Hmm...I'm considering it if I can get my H back to his old sneaky online dating habit

boyfromipinema Fri 05-Apr-13 16:59:53

Leave those online dating weirdos alone.
Come out with a weirdo who uses a mums website to try and pick up women instead.

akaWisey Fri 05-Apr-13 16:35:54

Dammit boy when you were -

Bald
overweight
tatted-up
lazy
scruffy
broke

you had me drooooooolinggggggg

Ah well. Back to POF…….

LifeMovesOn Thu 04-Apr-13 23:25:55

Blonde?! Oh drat, I'm still looking for tall, DARK and handsome! Good luck with your quest grin

Coffee1Sugar Thu 04-Apr-13 10:14:47

Dad! Get off this site!

boyfromipinema Thu 04-Apr-13 09:07:52

I dunno...maybe. I'm 6ft 2inch blonde with blue eyes, drive a Porsche, job in the city, town house in Chelsea and country home in the Cotswolds. Ring any bells?

Boy do I already know you?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 15:21:02

Actually, all joking aside. I am a single bloke looking for date and I'm relatively normal. I'm not on any dating websites at moment. Just thought I'd try my luck here as I had got some good advice a few months ago about something and had noticed that there seemed to be a few single women using it. I'm a dad of grown up kids, have a job, live in London, do really have my own hair and teeth, like to keep reasonably fit and love curling up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a good DVD. ;-)

Sallyingforth Wed 03-Apr-13 14:16:49

OK boy. I'm queuing for my pension at the moment but I'll look in on her on the way home if the nurses will let me in.

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 13:41:29

Oh, wait.
Was that you, boyfromipinema?

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 13:39:53

That was not a man, Akiss.

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 13:31:26

Please do Sally. Tell your mum to forward me hers as well.

Men don't wear thongs

yeah they do smile

Sallyingforth Wed 03-Apr-13 13:15:46

That's very sad boy, but I'm sure your plight has touched the hearts of everyone here. I'll ask my mum if I can PM you my contact details.

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 13:06:53

I think if you saw me you'd soon realize that phone sex is probably the only sex I'll ever get.

Sallyingforth Wed 03-Apr-13 13:03:46

You sound a real catch boy but I'm very shy about meeting strangers. Are you into phone sex?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 12:48:54

Favourite restaurant would have to be Chicken Cottage. If anyone wants to know how bald and ugly I am send me a message and I'll send a 'pic' to prove it.

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 12:45:56

Yes, but what type of glass?
Stained?
Laminated?
Coated?
Mirrored? hmm
Annealed?
Patterned?
Extra clear?
Low expansion?
Beveled?

Zilvernblue Wed 03-Apr-13 12:44:47

* I'm in the London area, late forties and still have my own teeth*

You do realise that in Aberdeen you would be a rare catch? Especially if you have a few hair follicles left.

Am I not selling myself enough? What more can I add?

Well, here you would simply tell women on your profile what a catch you are, how good looking you are, with photo to "prove" it, that you earn lots and lots of money and that they are lucky to be pm'd by you. Then simply send them a message saying "Hi hows u got any more pics do yer fancy a beer the night"...

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