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Fancy a date

(45 Posts)
boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 09:22:38

......Bald and pasty and old and ugly...the old boy from Ipinema goes waddling...and when he passes, each girl he passes goes 'Christ look at the state of that'........

Reading through some of the posts on this forum about dating disasters I've been inspired to put my head above the parapet and see if any single women reading this fancy a date? I'm in the London area, late forties and still have my own teeth.
Ladies please form an orderly queue.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Apr-13 09:30:30

Own teeth you say....? Solvent? Gainfully employed? <muses>

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 09:46:15

Yes I'm a trampoline instructor at a girl's school. Though that's hush hush as I'm also on incapacity benefit, so it's a strictly cash in hand job.

izzyizin Wed 03-Apr-13 09:56:19

<keeps option open pending namechange further information>

Height, weight, tattoos? How follicly challenged are you - are we talking coot or transplantable?

How much have you got in the bank long do you anticipate having your own teeth?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 10:02:32

Hows you Izzy. Only one tattoo, though it does cover my back and chest and most of my arms.

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 10:03:56

and a bit of my beer gut.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 03-Apr-13 10:21:55

I suppose if you're already decorated it cuts down on the laundry....

izzyizin Wed 03-Apr-13 10:45:38

O the power of positive thinking... hmm

FruOla Wed 03-Apr-13 11:01:52

What do you think of onesies for men, OP? grin

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 11:12:09

It's Ipanema, btw.

HTH

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 11:12:48

Onesies ok, but I think I prefer to stick to my reebok tracksuit and adidas trainers. Accessorized by my 4 sovereign rungs and gold chains.
And if any lucky ladies get to see a bit of bedroom action with me they'll enjoy the spectacle of my hairy beer belly drooping over my thong.

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 11:17:13

Men don't wear thongs.
They wear jockstraps.
FFS!

FruOla Wed 03-Apr-13 11:25:04

Oh, I don't know, Lueji, a friend of mine once bought her, then, DP a red leather thong for Christmas ... and she told us all shock, we had to buy a job lot of eye bleach grin

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 11:36:24

See, that's the kind of thing women buy men... wink

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 11:36:33

Anyway all that aside...I've had no messages yet for a date. Am I not selling myself enough? What more can I add? I'm a devoted father of 11 kids with 3 different women, so at least you all know I'm not firing blanks in case you want any more kids yourselves.

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 11:45:52

Are you sure they're yours?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 12:04:14

Well I've had my doubts about the Chinese one, but apart from that...

Walkacrossthesand Wed 03-Apr-13 12:19:48

Where are your own teeth?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 12:40:55

Usually in a glass at the side of my bed.

foofooyeah Wed 03-Apr-13 12:44:44

where would we go on our date - do you have a favourite restaurant ?

Zilvernblue Wed 03-Apr-13 12:44:47

* I'm in the London area, late forties and still have my own teeth*

You do realise that in Aberdeen you would be a rare catch? Especially if you have a few hair follicles left.

Am I not selling myself enough? What more can I add?

Well, here you would simply tell women on your profile what a catch you are, how good looking you are, with photo to "prove" it, that you earn lots and lots of money and that they are lucky to be pm'd by you. Then simply send them a message saying "Hi hows u got any more pics do yer fancy a beer the night"...

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 12:45:56

Yes, but what type of glass?
Stained?
Laminated?
Coated?
Mirrored? hmm
Annealed?
Patterned?
Extra clear?
Low expansion?
Beveled?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 12:48:54

Favourite restaurant would have to be Chicken Cottage. If anyone wants to know how bald and ugly I am send me a message and I'll send a 'pic' to prove it.

Sallyingforth Wed 03-Apr-13 13:03:46

You sound a real catch boy but I'm very shy about meeting strangers. Are you into phone sex?

boyfromipinema Wed 03-Apr-13 13:06:53

I think if you saw me you'd soon realize that phone sex is probably the only sex I'll ever get.

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