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Internet Dating Experiences - Is It The City I Live In?

(53 Posts)
Zilvernblue Tue 02-Apr-13 10:57:09

So I've been doing internet dating for one month now. Have had 163 responses, about half without photos. Have met two of them for coffee, of those one of them turned up half an hour late and it was a disaster (I had a thread on here). The other one I got on OK with, but there wasn't an instant attraction. What he then did was send me 9 or 10 very short messages, saying he was very attracted to me, basically demanding to know how I felt about him and whether I fancied him. I said I liked him but couldn't say for definite how I felt after one coffee lasting 25 minutes but after that he never messaged again and I felt quite put off pursuing it! Clearly just looking for sex.

To be honest though, most of the men are very arrogant, can't string a conversation together and seem to expect you to chase after them. And most of them aren't physically attractive in the slightest, and very old looking for their years. Most of them seem to have no notion of how to make reasonably polite conversation, and send aggressive sounding messages, as if they are speaking to their mates in the pub! Others speak to you as if you are a 5 year old child...

I've had many messages propositioning me for sex in the crudest terms, often with explicit photos (have changed my settings now). I've had even more messages asking me for sex chat. Surely there are women who charge for that sort of thing? Why would anyone provide such a service for free?? Most of them though have been along the lines of "Hi" or "Hows you?" or even "Hows you? Got any more pics?". Its like a different language, photos are always "pics", its never "how are you", etc..

I've had ones with photos of quite ordinary looking, middle aged men who feel the need to tell me they are good looking (the requirement seems to be having two eyes, a nose and a mouth). I've had two gems today. One who listed as one of his hobbies "giggling". When I queried it, he responded "Aw, you sound bitter lol xx". Another, claiming to be 46 but clearly in his late fifties as he was short, overweight, wrinkled and bald, had this gem in his profile "I'll probably get slated for this, but come on girls.. If you're in your 50's and dress like an old prude in sensible cardigans, then the chances are you'll have more in common with my mum than me, so I'm really not likely to be interested. Also, and I'm sorry to admit this but I'm a teeny bit shallow, and regardless how great your personality is, there's got to be some initial attraction".

Then theres the timewasters. I was hoping to meet up with one promising looking man last week, but he could not set a place or time to meet for coffee. Eventually we agreed on a venue, but not a date, then he changed his mind as he didn't think the venue would be that great but couldn't think of anywhere else (I'm new to the city so don't know anywhere). So 12 messages later, still no date set up and I never heard from him again...thankfully!

grin Similar experiences here; I generally get no interest at all on the paid sites and on the free ones I get nauseating messages about my 'amazing' smile from fifty year olds (and I am 32 ...) I gave up on it a year ago, I really don't like online dating. Maybe I'll meet someone in real life (although the genuine lovely guys do get snatched up long before they turn 32 sad) but more than likely I won't.

DoingItForMyself Thu 04-Apr-13 13:57:51

I thought the same thing Porridge, but I'm a lovely genuine woman and I was snatched up in my 20s, didn't stop my stbxh being a total arse and not appreciating what he had with me!

Some people don't bring out the best in each other, so just because someone is single now, it doesn't automatically make them a loser. Plenty of lovely people just may not make lovely couples.

I have no doubt that my new DP put less effort into his previous relationship than he does with me and second time around we're both more aware of the pitfalls.

Don't assume that all the good guys are taken!

CastroIsDead Thu 04-Apr-13 19:41:31

the availability thing wasn't a problem he was working here away from home but texting all weekend so i didn't suspect a girlfriend but the sex thing yes it was the night it was supposed to happen he spilled the beans about his relationship.
reading these threads puts me off trying od

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