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Please help me stop being bitter by a lack of support

(127 Posts)
AngelaMartinLipton Fri 29-Mar-13 11:09:53

I am so disapointed by the lack of support. We live in a different city to our families and don't have any help. I am going between anger and tears when I think about the last few months and I need to let this poison go.

I have been working full time, communting 3+ hours a day whilst my 6yo goes to before and after school club. OH had an operation about 3 weeks ago and so I have needed to drop off and pick up on top of everything else.

A stupid parent I don't know stopped me in the street last week to tell me how sorry she felt for my 6yo as he is being dragged out of the house in the early morning. Her lovely little girl was with her and so I just said a lame 'aren't we all just trying to do our best?'. I feel so guilty and tired. I don't have it all; I'm doing it all.

I asked my parents for help and they said they would if I lived nearer. I last spoke to them 2 weeks ago when they rang to tell me how tired they were after looking after my sister's kids. I told them I was hurt and frustrated by their lack of support and that this was insenstive. OH's parents are coming over Easter and I feel so bitter. Nether set of parents have helped and so I can't be fecked having them as visitors.

I am quite blunt but feel ready to explode - I understand this is unfair.

I now have a break and can't understand why, more than ever, I feel so hurt and frustrated. We are now over the worst and I should be enjoying time off with my lovely family and friends. I want to get to a point that I can let insensitive comments aside.

The situation isn't going to get better. They aren't going to change and I need to change how I feel about this. Has anyone been able to put negative feeings aside?

Bedtime1 Wed 03-Apr-13 20:17:52

I have a funny thing about asking for things but mine is a story in itself and this relates to feeling/ being rejected eg I find it hard to ask say friends if they want to do something as I'm worried they will say no. This stems from low self Esteem. Due to my parents not being so nice. I find it hard to trust and believe people Actually want to be around me so I kind of don't ask then no need to feel rejected,

AngelaMartinLipton Wed 03-Apr-13 20:42:30

I try to leave dealings with my ills to my oh. I think both sets are more worried about dragged into regular help.

They had about two weeks notice but were busy. I have spoken to my DH and said that they should have been more help and that they are wrong to expect far more from us than they are willing to provide. I have asked that in future he checks before arranging visits and I will do the same. Weekends are generally quite busy. I am happy to visit ils if DH makes arrangements. I'm glad to have a bit of thinking space before that happens.

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