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Dating thread number 48 :-)

(1000 Posts)
MirandaWest Mon 25-Mar-13 23:36:21

Here's the latest thread for everything dating related. All welcome smile

lubeybooby England Tue 26-Mar-13 08:43:32

and one of the people staying over is my best friend who is in love with me and clearly still hoping things will happen so it will be awful for him if he twigs on...

<headesk>

WarmFuzzyFun Tue 26-Mar-13 09:01:57

Sounds like one of those farces that was on in the late 70's Lube lots of bed hopping and misunderstanding, to use the tabloid speak 'Three In A Bed Romp' wink

lubeybooby England Tue 26-Mar-13 09:08:46

Nooo there'll be none of that malarkey!

I think I have a plan. A cunning one. It's ok, as you were.

MirandaWest Tue 26-Mar-13 09:11:33

Is snowing. Only gently so far but I think it might do it more in Leeds

Am clearing out car which is A Tip

lubeybooby England Tue 26-Mar-13 09:15:13

Snowing here too... ffs, saw mention of it being like last week again on one of OYBBK's weather threads <shivers>

StellaBrillante Tue 26-Mar-13 09:16:09

WFF you must be kidding, right? Over three years for me...yep, I am truly a desperate woman now!

Miranda that's so lovely, have a wonderful time!

I need to fully focus on my assignments as I'm thinking too much about the lecturer situation, trying to half-guess...he's done and said lovely things but still comes down to the fact that I don't know the guy so for now I just want a snog, really! grin

Have a fab week everyone! smile smile smile

Snapespeare Tue 26-Mar-13 09:34:44

very quick placemark. <waves>

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Mar-13 09:40:51

WFF yep, that's kind of the idea, although might just stick with getting next to rather than under for the moment. Doesn't have quite the same ring to it though, does it?

I have a little smidgen of excitement about Mr Veggie! It is lovely to have someone that actually actively wants to see me, although I know it might not last once we've actually met. I quite like the look of him and his profile and messages are nice, not earth-shattering, but nice and normal and pleasant. Which I think it what I need at the moment.

He's actually someone I almost arranged to meet a good while ago, then I did the disappearing act on him blush when the other stuff started, but I got in contact again and said I'd quite understand if he didn't want to bother, but he is still keen. We will see!

Scrazy Tue 26-Mar-13 09:50:28

Hello, place marking. Lubey, hope you can sort it out this weekend, sound exciting.

Looking forward to hearing how the date goes OWW and Ike, get yours sorted. It's time I got out on one so might suggest a time and place.

MsCellophane Tue 26-Mar-13 10:09:29

Hello new thread

I am supposed to have a date tonight with white van man, spoke last night all good, just text to say started a cold - typical dating behaviour

I am little bit excited with myself though. I am a 30-40 a day smoker and have been since I was 13. I have never managed to quit, even in pregnancy. I have tried patches, gum, inhalers, hypnosis, accupuncture, tablets from the dr

So I bought an ecig - I am trying to go 2 hours between real fags and am doing it!!!! 200 fags last me 5 days usually - I have only used 100 since last thurs but didn't start ecig til saturday, I opened a pack on sunday night and still have 3 left!! I am so proud of myself. Early days but I am hopeful I can ditch the marlboro and gradually reduce the strength of nicotine

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Mar-13 10:23:33

Lubey your weekend sounds fun but with a lot of possible pitfalls! Hope you have a cunning plan.

MsC - brilliant, well done with the ecigs. Do you think White Van Man is going to cancel? Hope it all works out okay.

MirandaWest Tue 26-Mar-13 10:32:07

Flight appears to have landed at Heathrow smile

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Mar-13 10:37:02

Ooooh not long to go Miranda!

lulubellaboozle Tue 26-Mar-13 10:42:46

place marking and <<waves>>

Lubey sounds fun and confusing! hope you get what you want pretty certain you will grin

Miranda not long now, enjoy the romantic reunion try to block out 18 year old DS rolling his eyes

OWW Mr Veggie sounds promising, even if it comes to nothing it is a good distraction and something to look forward to, good for you. If it does come to something, can he be renamed please? Mr Veggie conjurs up images of weirdly and rudely shaped vegetables in a sort of Esther Rantzen way lulu shows her age now

Scrazy Tue 26-Mar-13 10:47:13

Mrs C, well done on starting to address the smoking. I don't know how people manage to smoke so many in a day when you have to smoke outside. I gave up then stupidly started again. I go to the door as I don't want to smoke inside and this cold weather is helping me cut down.

pixiebelle123 Tue 26-Mar-13 10:54:39

Hello new thread!

Miranda - have fun at the reunion!

OWW - Well done for setting up a date so quickly! I think it's great that you're getting back out there on the dating scene, fingers crossed you'll have lots of fun with Mr Veggie.

I am very confused by my pof man, I'm not sure if we're breaking up or not. He says he misses me when we're not together but when he's here it's like he can't be bothered with me at all and doesn't seem excited to see me. He has a very stressful job which he hates and takes up a lot of his time, but I'd really like the time we have together to be more special. He is also quite screwed up with guilt over his DCs, he misses them a lot as he only gets to see them once a fortnight. I think being around my DCs makes the guilt worse.

We are going away for Easter weekend, I think it's going to be make or break. I really like this guy but there are quite a few red flags now and I'm wondering if I'm sticking with it because I don't want to be alone. Big sigh!

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Mar-13 10:55:28

Lulu - hope he has some rudely- (but not weirdly-) shaped somethings, but vegetables were not quite what I had in mind . . . Will think of a new name if he lasts for more than one date.

Just had some great advice from a male friend which I will pass on as I think it's good.

There are two difficult things about making a decision - 1) making the decision and 2) stopping making the decision once it's made.

Quite right. It serves me right for saying his relationship advice was on a par with my ten year old dd's (who actually told me on Sunday that there were plenty more fish in the sea. How little she knows . . .).

lulubellaboozle Tue 26-Mar-13 11:05:19

Pixie, I think the question I would ask yourself, and it goes back to WFF's rules - If it's not fun, stop. Regardless of whether he says he misses you when you are not together. Do YOU enjoy being with him, is it fun? you can't fix his problems, guilt, stress etc, you can only fix/change what does or doesn't work for you.

KirstyWirsty Tue 26-Mar-13 11:10:09

Looking for your advice dear hive

I bumped into a guy from work (MrHungarian) this morning .. I find him REALLY attractive .. And I think he likes me too .. However he works in MrCheeky's team (although he is still suspended /off sick )

At the department Night out ( the one in January where MrCheeky's buggered off and left me) I was dancing with MrHungarian after MrCheeky had left and he said 'the boss isn't going to like this' and then pretty much stayed away

Should I pursue or leave it? The frisson I got this morning indeed confirms that I did not fancy MrFixit

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Mar-13 11:25:33

Oh Pixie I don't want to put a downer on things and be the voice of doom, but there are some things that are really resonating with me because of the nonsense I've been through recently with LM. If he's not treating you right, then I think the thing to do is first of all talk to him about it and say clearly what you want from the relationship and see what he says. And if he says the right things, put a time limit on it in your mind for this to translate into action. If he doesn't say the right things, or subsequently actually do them, you know what you need to do.

What you are wanting (someone who is really into you and actively wants to spend time with you) is nothing unusual or outrageous. Don't be like me and settle for the crumbs!

It's not up to you to sort out his guilt issues about his children or his problems with work. You can be supportive but he is the one that has to take the action to sort his own life out. He sounds very like LM in that he needs to get his life in order and resolve his issues before he's ready for a proper, adult (emotionally adult as well as sexually!) relationship with someone like you. This is a hard thing to realise but it is better than wasting your time on someone who is emotionally unavailable and won't give you what you want and need.

I don't like being alone either, but it is better than turning yourself inside out with stress about a relationship that is not right and is also giving you mixed messages. This all sounds so familiar and I know how awful it is to go through and how bad it can make you feel.

If you want to PM me about any of this then please do if you think I can help at all.

Kirsty is Mr Cheeky his boss? And how likely is it that Mr Cheeky will be back at work? It could be a bit awkward, but there's no harm in having a coffee/drink with him and seeing what happens!

smoothieooo Tue 26-Mar-13 11:27:09

Morning all.

Just de-lurking briefly to wave. I may have a 3rd date lined up. Nice guy, a weird combination of geeky/cool. Complicated home situation (separated for a year but has only just moved out of family home). Apparently.

So why is it that after months of being fairly indifferent, I'm missing my STBexH terribly? Just bloody ridiculous. I know the answer is to lay off the dating altogether until I'm completely ready. Pah.

KirstyWirsty Tue 26-Mar-13 11:29:19

OWW yes MrCheeky is his boss .. I have no idea if he will be returning to work .. Probably best waiting to see what happens there first I suppose .. I actually feel all quite shaken up after this morning though .. Guess the rabbit isn't really doing the trick and I'm I. The same boat as lubey

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Mar-13 11:44:50

Yep Kirsty could be a bit awkward if Mr Cheeky does come back, but on the other hand there is no reason you should put your life on hold in case it hurts his feelings.

Smoothie I think these feelings can pop up unexpectedly every now and again for a long, long time. If you are indifferent to him most of the time, that's great, and I think that this is probably just a temporary blip and will go away again soon.

48howdidthathappen Tue 26-Mar-13 11:59:21

I am back. Got what I expected grin Hope you all gets yours soon.

OWW You are brilliant! Pixie Listen. She knows.

Kirsty Hmm. Think I would wait.

Bit odd over Mr R&Rs last night. His house is normally a bit of a health hazard.
It was clean and tidy shock

Also think he was trying to tell me loved me in a round the houses way. Honestly not bothered if he does or not. It is good.

48howdidthathappen Tue 26-Mar-13 12:05:51

Well done mrs c I got an ecig weeks ago. Gonna give it a go.

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