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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Sun 24-Mar-13 12:23:14

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. smile

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese wink and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you smile

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon smile

Yep Guggs, I do (a little) think crazy twin boys would be easier than one crazy, needy boy or maybe that's just bonkers!
Just think then my little boy would have a friend as he's desperate to play & wants me to play all his crazy games. Would happily have your ds for the day if you would have mine the next day!

I do think it was something to do with me saying I wasn't drinking that influenced my friend not coming round. I did say to her that it was just me not drinking, didn't say no booze allowed but I do remember when your drinking it makes you feel uncomfortable when around non-drinkers. I have been very guilty in the past of putting pressure on people to drink when they've said they're not. 1. As I've believed in the past it's always more fun when everyone drinks and 2. As I suppose you feel people will be more accepting of your drunken behaviour.
smile

aliasjoey Sat 06-Apr-13 21:17:06

ashlea welcome and well done for being brave and posting! I also have anxiety and have used alcohol to manage it. It doesn't really work though, because I would spend several hours of the day planning/buying/worrying about when I could drink, how much etc. Now I have cut right down, and the days I don't drink I am definitely not as anxious.

Although I would have found that hard to believe a year ago - the very idea of cutting down would have sent me into a panic! Luckily I didn't usually drink too much, and I have managed just with the support of the Amazing Bus, but if you want extra help there's loads out there - lots of people recommend Alan Carr (do I mean Alan? I thought he was a comedian?) Also AA groups, SMART, and of course our mantra One Day At a Time, which you have already figured out for yourself.

It sounds like you are ready to make some big changes!

[Who said Jelly Babies ?]

Mouseface Sat 06-Apr-13 21:25:45

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Ma - he has Owl Babies and won't let me read it to him for that very reason sad I have tried and so have preschool to get him so see that Mummy Owl always comes back and that they are safe etc.... in fact, the books, (we have a paper version that I read and a board book) belong to preschool. We also have the 'Owl' family to show how the story plays out. But thank you so much for the suggestion thanks smile xx

Guggs - thank you too. I have done so much hard work and prep towards the coming term, never mind the transition to school!! grin

I want them to know every little detail and every little quirk so that they are fully prepared and that Nemo is fully supported as much as possible. It IS a MAAAAHOOOOOSIVE change for my little growing up boy, and yes, for me. I have to do what some lovely Babe suggested (sorry, head like a thing with holes in! wink ) and be all bright and breezy, smiles and lots of positive body language, and then, once out of sight and earshot, I can scrike all I like!!! grin

Thank you all for taking the time to post to me. It means a lot. You all have your own stuff going on, thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mouseface Sat 06-Apr-13 21:26:42

Oh, and g'night all. The boy has finally gone to sleep after a full day! Resistance to sleep is so easy for him! grin

Rest well all xxxxxx

Night mouse, hope you & Nemo both sleep well lovely xx
Night babes x

venusandmars Sat 06-Apr-13 22:16:58

Oh my girls loved the owl babies. But when they were young, they both shouted out in chorus: "AND SHE CAME" and dp sat on the other side of the room and smirked blush

mouse I've been suffering from a different sort of separation anxiety this week. (some of you will know) my dm has been very ill and I have found it so, so hard to walk away from her bedside and leave her in the care of professionals. Like you, I think that I can interpret / communicate her needs better than they can, I can tell when she is anxious, I can reassure her, I know what tone of voice irritates her. Yet I KNOW that I can only really be of long term help (and thank god, today it looks as though she will live for a little longer) if I can balance the rest of my life with caring for her and my dad. I can't do that if I'm exhausted. I can't do that if I'm not earning any money. I can't do that if I don't let other people help. It's tough though, isn't it.

isindie trying to get things sorted grin grin

Fairenuff Sat 06-Apr-13 22:32:10

Venus it is tough. Especially if, like you, you are one of earth's carers and givers.

I always think of that advice they give us on aeroplanes about putting your own mask on first before you try to help others. It makes sense really.

Hello and welcome to Ashlea, lovely to hear from you, take a seat and get comfy. Just jump in with the chat anytime you like.

It's been a beautiful day here today. The sun was out and it was warm and all was well in the Fairehouse.

JWN how are you doing? Not heard from you for a while, everything ok?

determinedma Sat 06-Apr-13 22:39:19

indie me and Venus are coming to get yoooooooooo grin

venusandmars Sat 06-Apr-13 23:20:12

isindie be afraid, be very afraid grin and by comparison, the delights of Greenock will seem tame.

Fairenuff Sat 06-Apr-13 23:23:21

Are you going off to Greenock to distract Isindie shock

Drastic measures, but hey ho grin

Should I be scared I wonder?

Alternative view on Owl Babies....
DP bought Owl babies when they were going through only Mummy DP! Stage (mouse I can not imagine how your dh feels then nemo rejects him because it tears me up when my girls do the same ( as they did today) so the theory was that this would help our girls realise that even though one of theor mummies was gone she would be back...hmm nope!

All we got was endless discussion about why percy and sarah were saying what they did. mummy would come back but bill was just frightened DT1 decided that it was all ok but DT2 thought that despite the fact that mummy came back the whole story was unpleasant ( she is 2.5 yo and I think I agree with her. )

Night night every one

I would like a loving recption for every living thing

daisypots Sun 07-Apr-13 09:58:09

Hello, after reading ashlea's post in the middle of the night whilst up with post drinking anxiety, finally feel brave enough to post. Could almost have written ashlea's post myself. My anxiety is a big trigger, my anxiety is specifically health so drinking totally makes it worse, but temporarily calms me down..vicious cycle. I start to feel panicky every day, drink to feel better, feel awful in the night and next morning. Tiredness in the afternoon is a trigger, and it co-incides with grumpy children time. I really need some support now, I have been following the bus at least a year, gave up for 2 weeks last august, 1 before Christmas and 2 in January but don't feel I can do it again. I just want to stop for long enough to maybe be able to try controlled drinking but I doubt this will be a realistic possibility...

dementedma Sun 07-Apr-13 10:16:01

Welcome daisy and well done for posting. Someone will be along soon with your ticket and a bacon butty. It can be quiet during the day at weekends but the Babes will be stirring soon.
ashlea how are you today?

And guess what? I'M GOING TO MEET INDIE!

venusandmars Sun 07-Apr-13 10:46:21

Hi daisy and well done for posting. I used to really notice how after drinking my nervous state changed completely. I'm not really an anxious person, but I would notice really clearly how jumpy I was, and how easily startled. For example, I was with a colleague one day on our way to a meeting and we walked past a garden where a dog ran to the gate. It didn't even bark, but I jumped out of my skin, said 'oh my god' and knocked into my colleague, who thought something was happening and almost stepped into the road in front of a car.

Don't worry now about how long you plan to not drink for, or whether you can do it, or even what your aims are, but just find a nice place to settle on board and take each day one at a time.

Is there anything that you can do that is slightly different this afternoon when it would be your normal trigger time? Take the children out somewhere different, or get some ice-cream as a treat for you all? Anything to change the usual pattern.

dementedma Sun 07-Apr-13 16:51:19

Another walk in the bag. An hour and a half. That's about 20 miles this week so pretty pleased.
Day 1 tomorrow I hope to build on the exercise.
Boot camp ma is back.
Venus need to email you tomorrow as CV is saved on PC at work.

Welcome Daisy. Think recognising that you have a problem and wanting to change is a huge first step. Alcohol is a huge depressant & has many negative affects that outweigh the perceived "benefits"
When I have been drinking the next few days I'm anxious & agoraphobic & won't even hang my washing out, go to my car, take the rubbish out in case I bump into a neighbour so hide in my house. Alcohol can turn normally confident people into wrecks, not good!
Wishing you well over the next few days. Can you try to get yourself something nice at the time when you normally drink alcohol so you don't feel you are missing out. Such as luxury hot chocolate, fruit juice with lemonade, cola with ice & lime. So that you can look forward to this drink rather than feeling deprived that your not having your usual alcoholic drink?

MA well done on your walk. I'm starting back at your boot camp tomorrow! Went to my sis-in-laws today & she's doing weight watchers & 30 day shred & looks amazing.
I'm inspired!

Welcome daisy great that you posted and joined the bus!
Ashlea hello! Come back and tell us how you are lovely? Drinking or not we are always here and it would be nice to 'meet' you!

I am back on day 1 today sad as expected (so probably just guaranteed it by thinking that) I drank a bottle and a half of wine last night with my parents. DP sensibly went to bed early but I had that first glass with dinner and the evening was set from that moment I think..blush

So after 10 days it's back on the bus again.

BUT I am very excited about meeting the amazing Ma and Venus hooray! Selfishly I also feel great that I have set myself up nicely to not drink at all on this trip which will be a lovely lovely change! Hooray for beautiful Babes!

aliasjoey Sun 07-Apr-13 23:07:17

Feeling sorry for myself. Fed up with my family. Cross that I have turned into a pathetic needy miserable idiot. Oh and I selfishly tried to use my own 10-year-old daughter to bolster my pathetic ego.

On the positive side I am sober, when everyone else was drinking. Actually, I had little choice, I can't drink red wine or beer. Interestingly, it is easier to choose not to drink, than feel you have no option! I felt much more resentful than if it had been my own decision.

A year ago, I would have had the red wine. Or made DH drive to the nearest shop. So I guess progress has actually been made!

Wow just writing this has made me feel better! My mother is still the same as she was a year ago, but I have changed grin

venusandmars Sun 07-Apr-13 23:10:42

Bucks Fizz! Now what on earth is the point of that?

I was at a wedding today and after the ceremony there were glasses of lovely looking refreshing orange juice - just what was needed because the hotel had their heating turned to max and I was almost melting. Except it wasn't orange juice - they'd put something vile and vaguely fizzy in it. I can't remember when I last tasted anything so horrible.

I can't imagine that many people were thrilled - if you wanted a glass of champagne then why would you want orange juice in it? Maybe it was something not very good and they thought they would disguise it by adding orange - well it didn't work, it just spoilt the juice!

Sleep well, Brave Babes.

Morning babes! Loving my sober wake-up,feeling this morning! Hoping everyone has a good day.

Sending special 'you-are-lovely' thoughts to Alias today. Your mission today, should you choose to accept it, is to give yourself a massive break and be vety very kind and loving to your self all day!

Love to all xx

daisypots Mon 08-Apr-13 08:09:09

Morning brave babes. The start of day 2 here. Well done for recognising your progress Alias and don't be hard on yourself. Try and look at the positives. Venus, yes I agree bucks fizz is wrong. Either a glass of juice or a glass of fizz (my favourite but it goes down like pop unfortunately) but not together! Isinde, so day 2 for you too, after ten days, maybe we can get to ten days again this time?! I will be ok till about half 2, I will start thinking about a drink and I usually have my first about 4....I need to get to about 7 and the wine witch will have moved on to somewhere else...

dementedma Mon 08-Apr-13 08:58:01

day 1 here - and back at work!

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