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Is he load of rubbish?

(106 Posts)
number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 12:22:10

I have nambe changed for this, sorry.
I met this bloke about 5 years ago. We hit off straight away, very passionatelly, I liked him a lot, he was chatty friendly and funny. But there where a few things that where very odd. He had lots of money, in cash in his house. And he spent it without thinking it. Of course this at the start of a relationship is fun, went out for dinners, good wines, etc. but as I wanted to get serious I started to ask why he didn't have a bank account, where did the money come from, etc. He told me (after a long persona/family/past history) that from a young age he started being involved in music industry, writing lyrics, and ths is what made him the money, he had a little part time job to "keep him in real life" hmm. Now, of course I searched googled etc. he even told me famous songs he had written. He was nowhere to be seen. One night I was at his and the door bell rang. It was his sister (whom with he had no contact) drunk, shouting at him at telling him it was crazy. I didn't hear much more that that. At the time he was very close to his mum. After a lot of thinking more questions and digs, I just didn't see it clear and I stopped contact.
Until now.
Met him again, we hit off again, the connection and chemistry is quite mind blowing. The story has changed a bit, he says he lost all his money on the crisis he has a full time job and bank accounts like normal people but he doesn't speak to his mum anymore. So we start seing each other again as naively I think he might left the odditty and mad stories behind. But its not the case, he keeps saying that he did all this stuff when young but he hated it, hated "the industry" and the way he was treated to produce money. i have researched again, the songs he says he has written are NOT on his name at all, but another famous songriter mainly. BUT, there is some song lyrics that do make sense with the past he has told me about, but of course he could be completely mental and built a big lie based on what these songs say.
There more this stuff started coming out again, the less I want to see him and now we only send the odd text to each other. But I do miss him.
Sorry this is long and it might be lots of info missing so I didn't dripfeed but I don't want to make the post even longer and messier.
But basically, is he full of bullpoo and a compulsive lier, or is it possible that he did have this weird past and he has wiped himself out from all the media...
Please dont be too harsh, I am not naive, I really like his personality and I am just hoping he is not barking mad... sad
So what do you think? WWYD??
Thanks for reading.

Buddybutters Sat 23-Mar-13 13:50:08

Yeah I am impolite.

By your own logic, now I've admitted it you'll like and respect me even MORE for admitting it :D

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 13:51:02

AttilaTheMeerkat, are you sure he is not your BIL???

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 13:55:37

just joking!!

If he was which he is not I'd be telling you to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction!. You cannot afford to believe a single word that he utters.
BIL is a true Walter Mitty type character who supposedly knows everything and everybody.

Seriously though, I do know about how plausible on the surface at least these types are and they can be charm personified - but he is still not a person to be messed with, such charming men can make for dangerous lovers. Such types can be bloody nasty when they want to be and can turn at the flick of a switch; I've seen that as well.

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 14:08:59

Buddy, you are starting to sound like him honestly. Putting words in my mouth and sounding a little bonkers...

Attila, I know. I can see it now clearly, I feel just sad for him now really.

Buddybutters Sat 23-Mar-13 14:21:01

I'll be right up your street then smile

Yes I can get the fact that you feel sad for him - but that feeling soon passes when you see the sheer scale of the ongoing lies and daily untruths.

Losingexcessweight Sat 23-Mar-13 14:28:42

If he's dodgy, maybe mixing with the wrong people etc, then it's not a good idea to go digging around for info on him or his past etc.

He may not like it if he finds out and you could end up putting your safety at risk if he's a bad egg IYSWIM?

I know you have questions you want answers to, but sometimes we don't always get the answers that enable us to close the door and move on.

Sometimes we are left wondering and we can't close that chapter until we have an ending.

I hope this is making sense.

What I'm trying to say is, I think on this occassion it's best to close the book without the chapter ending, and move on.

Viviennemary Sat 23-Mar-13 14:35:11

Some people not many thank goodness, are total and absolute fantasy liars. It sounds as if this person is one of those. So you can either keep digging and asking till you find out the truth or ignore the whole thing and pretend it's not happening or you can just let him move on to somebody else and let them listen to all this silly stuff.

Buddybutters Sat 23-Mar-13 15:07:54

It strikes me that all this energy and wondering and wanting answers and digging etc might suggest you're lacking other things in your life to think about.

Do you have any other hobbies?

ZorbaTheHoarder Sat 23-Mar-13 15:17:12

Hey Buddy - why are you hanging around on this thread just to insult the OP?
She has said she doesn't appreciate your unhelpful comments but you can't take a polite hint. It's starting to look like you are the one lacking a constructive hobby...

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 16:10:55

"Any other hobbies" grin
Zorba, exactly!

Naysa Sat 23-Mar-13 16:13:03

Buddy do you have any hobbies other than beong rude and childish and goady?

toddlerama Sat 23-Mar-13 16:28:07

He is probably a lying weirdo, HOWEVER...

If you write a song, register with PRS, you can nominate anyone to receive your royalty cheque annually (ie his mum) and then get cash from them. The motive for that could be for tax purposes for example. Is it possible he writes under a pseudonym?

JaceyBee Sat 23-Mar-13 16:47:26

Ok this is a bit random and I'm not sure how relevant but I have an old friend whose dad used to be somehow in 'the industry'. He used to write songs and play on albums as a session musician I think. Anyway, he wrote the outline of the music and lyrics for a song called 'love is all around' which for one reason or another the writing credit went to another guy, singer with The Troggs Reg somebody I think he's called.

Anyway this all happened a long time ago, everyone had moved in and it didn't seem to be much of a bone of contention for my friends dad. Indeed I think this sort of things is quite rife in the music industry. And then that bloody 4 weddings came out and wet wet wet covered the record and were at no 1 for months and sold millions of copies globally! So I think then there might have been some resentment and bitterness!!! The Troggs guy must have been laughing all the way to the bank, the cheeky fucker!

Anyway, wrt to your situation OP, stranger things have happened but I would be very, very sceptical!

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 23-Mar-13 16:52:37

<ahem>

QuickLookBusy Sat 23-Mar-13 17:00:56

Agree with toddlerama

He may be a weirdo, but it is possible he writes under another name. Can't you just ask him this?

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:18:36

Pretty sure I asked him that, he says he had coowritten things... no the more I think or write about it the more improbable it sounds.
As for taking the credit, if someone else took the credit he wouldnt get the money!?
Sorry, what is that <ahem> for blush

QuickLookBusy Sat 23-Mar-13 17:25:58

If he is saying he was a co writer and that's why his name isn't on the songs, then he is definitely lying. All writers are credited on a song, they have to be or they would not receive any money.

WhatDoesTheDogSay Sat 23-Mar-13 17:29:39

There is always a degree of plausibility in the lies compulsive or pathological liars tell. Often they are so plausible that you wouldn't even doubt the liar for a moment, particularly if you weren't particularly closely involved with them (say a colleague or casual acquaintance). Obviously, neither OP nor anyone else knows for sure whether this man is bullshitting, but the very fact that OP has an uneasy feeling about him is pretty telling. How often does anyone doubt what someone says if it's perfectly true and honest?

TweedSlacks Sat 23-Mar-13 17:33:31

Have you seen the film ' About a Boy' , starring Hugh Grant ?

Because he has , and 'Layer Cake ' as well.

if it sounds odd and you can either immerse yourself in the madness and hope you come out the other side, or politely walk away and leave him to his own devices

JaceyBee Sat 23-Mar-13 17:35:12

What does he claim to have written out of interest?

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:47:59

Is it possible that he believes his own lies? I am amazed at how he is so consistent with them, and for that long

Yes fantasists can and do believe in their own truth even when its disproved.

number41 Sat 23-Mar-13 18:02:16

Well, thats it then. is it a mental illness?

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