Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is this a red flag?

(22 Posts)
HotCrossPun Fri 22-Mar-13 18:12:09

ILoveKermit I don't think it is a red flag. He isn't doing that silly 'Treat them mean and keep them keen' thing, he is telling you how he feels. That doesn't mean you need to reciprocate the sentiment until you feel ready though.

He sounds lovely smile

Lucyellensmum95 Fri 22-Mar-13 18:05:48

FFS stop being so cynical - i knew i would be with DP for the rest of my life on our second date (once i had got over being pillion on his motorbike - terrified doesn't even cover it)

Loulybelle Fri 22-Mar-13 18:05:39

Kermit It sounds as though, he means it, and is willing to go at your pace, and not force things, you may have found a good un.

ILoveKermit Fri 22-Mar-13 18:02:13

I think I've been reading too much mumsnet! made me a bit cynical, I know there are lots of lovely blokes in the world and I think i've found one of them, also in my past I've been hurt and am quite wary.

No other red flags, he texts me throughout the day, and we see each other a few times a week. I won't have him to stay over as I have a 4 year old DS and he's happy to wait to meet him.

OhWesternWind Fri 22-Mar-13 17:59:32

You've got to know each other over the last year even though your relationship is very new, so it seems reasonable that he could actually love you. If it was three weeks with no previous history, I'd be a lot more sceptical.

But what matters is what you think of this. Are you worried that it's too soon? Is there anything else that makes you think "Red flag"?

as long as there are no other red flags sounds great!

i felt that way about my dh too.

Ahh !

The only thing is ... that you're asking ... there hasn't been anything else that worries you has there ?

Moominsarehippos Fri 22-Mar-13 17:37:19

Awwwwwwwww.

BreasticlesNTesticles Fri 22-Mar-13 17:36:10

DH told me he loved me after 3 weeks on Valentines day. I said "err, I think I'm maybe falling in love with you"

He looked thoughtful and said "yeah, that's probably what I mean actually" and rolled over to sleep.

That was as romantic as it got grin

Not a red flag at all!

TrishkanOEUFak Fri 22-Mar-13 17:33:29

It can be, but it isn't in all cases. I think in your case it isn't smile

OhToBeCleo Fri 22-Mar-13 17:33:02

I think it's lovely that he waited patiently for you to be available. And yes, his feelings could have been brewing during all of that time. No flags in my opinion smile

Mutt Fri 22-Mar-13 17:32:20

I'm a cynical old bag and even I think (a year and) three weeks isn't soon smile

If you'd only met him three weeks ago then I'd say yes.

Fill your boots!

daffsarecomingup Fri 22-Mar-13 17:29:56

i think it's lovely! Yes, Kermit, he loves you!

ChestyLeRoux Fri 22-Mar-13 17:28:21

Cause not. Dh and I were engaged 10 weeks after we first met and been married ten years next year.

ILoveKermit Fri 22-Mar-13 17:26:34

yes moomins I do....

ILoveKermit Fri 22-Mar-13 17:25:33

actually just reading through it, I think he's just in love with me, can't quite believe it as I always in the past seemed to attract knobbers, maybe I've actually struck gold with this one.

have name changed BTW as several people in RL know my other name smile

Moominsarehippos Fri 22-Mar-13 17:24:14

There you go then! Sweet. Do you love him too?

ILoveKermit Fri 22-Mar-13 17:23:37

There was definitly chemistry when we first met last year, I had a partner though, have been split 6 months and a month or so ago started seeing new bloke through different eyes, so yes I think he wanted to get with me a year ago but I wasn't available and he never pushed it....

Bitofadviceplease Fri 22-Mar-13 17:21:43

If you've been 'close' for a year & 3 weeks I wouldn't say it's too soon smile

Moominsarehippos Fri 22-Mar-13 17:21:21

Not sure. Has he been pining for you for a year?

We decided to get married weeks after we met. Still together after 23 years. Bloody hell, am I that old???

ParsleyTheLioness Fri 22-Mar-13 17:19:00

Bit soon, I think.

ILoveKermit Fri 22-Mar-13 17:15:37

I have been seeing a bloke for about 3 weeks now, we were friends before for about a year or so, and last night he told me he loved me.....he's kind and lovely, just wondering if saying the 3 words is a red flag or he actually does love me already...

Thanks in advance

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now