Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Twunt scored a full house and won himself a ride in a police car

(174 Posts)
BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Thu 21-Mar-13 22:34:03

I have name changed, not ready to deal with rl yet.

After shits loads of ea, sulking, rages, controlling behaviour, blaming the whole world for his actions etc, etc, etc, tonight poor hard done by twunt was bathing dd (I had engineered this as I am sick of him being a useless twat), he started shouting at her, I went up to see to her and he kicked off.

Screaming at me to fuck off, pushing me about, all in a tiny bathroom being witnessed by hysterical dd, he wouldn't let me go to dd to calm her down, just carried on screaming and pushing me out of bathroom and towards the top of the stairs, I really thought he was going to shove me down the stairs.

I managed to get back in the bathroom, he ripped stairgate down i guess to make it easier to get me down the stairs, he came back in shoving and screaming, so I said fine let me go and I will fuck off, he let go I tried to get out of the bathroom but where he was blocking me from gettingnto the bath, when I opened the bathroom door it hit his head.

He went apeshit, tried to push me down the stairs again, I managed to get past him and downstairs to phone police. 3 lovely officers were here in no time and have taken him in for questioning.

They said that from what he has said in custody they will probably let him go with a caution, and will come back when he returns for his van to prevent a breach of the peace.

I don't have anyone left in rl close enough to turn to, as being a by the book style twunt he has made sure I have been distanced from friends.

Dd is only 3, but all she kept asking was "is daddy going away in the police car, I'll miss daddy" what do you say to that? sad

izzyizin Mon 25-Mar-13 23:47:39

Sort one thing at a time, honey.

Don't fret about getting an address for him at this stage; that's for when/if you instruct a solicitor.

Put your poker face on, act as if nothing's amiss (it'll help if you imagine it's Tuesday of last week before the twunt kicked off), and give it your best blag smile

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 00:06:28

Chipping Yes twunt is staying with Dd1's dad, they have been mates from school. There was a lot of years between leaving one and getting with other, they don't have regular contact with each other, but are always each others first call when something goes wrong. I have no contact with dickhead, and Dd1 and I are never (well up until now maybe) discussed.

I can use the money to rent somewhere else, that is the plan short term, but I'm not currently working so getting own place not an option right now, I'm applying for any job going right now.

Math it's often been said I take the path less travelled confused and it would appear I'm looking at this from the wrong perspective. What you say makes a lot of sense, I guess I'm still clinging on to the deluded idea of a clean break.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 00:10:23

Cheers Izzy Will give that a go thanks

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 00:46:59

Just flicking through the telly and realised Roadhouse is on.

Had not been with dickhead very long, he wanted me to meet his mate (twunt) and wife, went to their flat, twunt had just got back from video shop with roadhouse, I remember ignoring the pair of them once Sam Elliot came on the screen grin

Twunt had the bike and the look back then, tbh I only stayed with dickhead so long to keep contact with twunt blush instant chemistry on both sides, we came close to acting on it, but I was 17, he was married with a toddler, we agreed to just be friends.

Eventually split with dickhead, moved away eventually lost contact with twunt.

Moved back a few years later, would bump into him from time to time, attraction still there.
He had moved back to his parents when marriage split up - Jeremy Kyle moment #2 his wife went off with his nephew actually Jeremy Kyle moment #3 his half brother, his "sister" is really his mother, he was then adopted by gp's grin fuck me you couldn't make this shit up, can anyone still hear me over the fluttering of all these red flags, where the hell was mn 20 years ago to stop me getting involved with this shit.

Anyhow finally we were both single at the same time so went for it, moved in together within months.

Coincidence, I don't know, but two things today have triggered this unloading, Bf said earlier she couldn't believe what he'd done, we were made for each other yadda yadda, "you waited for him for half your life" and yes she's right unconsciously I did.

Then back to roadhouse, symbolism, for me that says things have gone full circle, that film has marked the beginning and the end of our relationship.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 00:48:59

God that was cathartic, rambling, waffling shite, but better out than in grin

izzyizin Tue 26-Mar-13 01:01:03

These things are definitely better out than in.

I'm a believer in portents and omens. I concur that the wheel of your relationship with twunt has gone full circle and it's now time for the clean break you crave - which, incidentally, you'll only achieve by imposing a 'no contact' rule on yourself.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 01:10:18

Izzy I'm back on track, there will be NO contact, I was over thinking the rent thing. Tomorrow will be lady gaga all the way grin thanks

izzyizin Tue 26-Mar-13 01:17:43

I LIKE it! grin You go, gal.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 01:33:57

grin grin

grin Cheering you on from the nightfeed xxx

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 09:24:15

Only a twunt would think shiny floors were a good look, no matter what I try today I can't stop the smears angry

I know the inspection thing isn't about my standards as such, but I do have a bit of my mother in me unfortunately blush

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 13:38:33

So twunt has just text, saying we need to get in touch with ll to get him taken off the tenancy, and that I need to speak to xxxx to understand what I need to do in order to cancel contract between us.

Please don't tell me this is him still being manipulative, surely this is a positive step forward?

foolonthehill Tue 26-Mar-13 14:00:53

UM...who long as it fits in with your view of what needs to happen it doesn't really matter. He may be playing the "look what you've done, you'll never manage without me" card, or he may be being reasonable. It makes no difference, it's what you are thinking and doing that matter!

Try to give him as little brain space as possible...second guessing him is a mugs game (and one I frequently get sucked into with ex) and never helpful or rewarding.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 14:04:50


I'm not going to reply to him, I realise that would be playing into his hands, but I really want to believe he has made the first official steps in cutting ties.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 14:08:46

Sorry x post.

He knows I am more than capable of being without him, was single parent to Dd for abut 12 years, with a demanding full time job.

This time round I am financially secure enough to not really worry about a job till Dd is at school.

foolonthehill Tue 26-Mar-13 14:13:53

that's good. Independent and knowing you can cope is great.

hope the LL inspection went/goes well.

mathanxiety Tue 26-Mar-13 14:24:03

I think he's probably trying to frighten you with the black and whiteness of it all, but why not play along? Call his bluff. My guess is he won't make any calls, but you need to see about the LL situation anyway.

The break needs to be made. YOU CAN DO THIS. And I second Fool's advice to not allow him to occupy space in your brain. Plough ahead with your own agenda. Do what needs to be done for you and DD2 and let him take it or leave it.

(I love the way he tells you in a text out of the blue what you need to do/ who to talk to, what 'we' need to do wrt the LL. hmm)

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 26-Mar-13 14:32:11

I just read your OP and couldn't not comment. Firstly SO many congratulations for your strong heart. Secondly, DD and you are FAR better without a nasty violent twat in your lives.

He is trying to get a reaction from you with his message about the don't need him to tell you what you "need" to do because you are an adult who undersrtands these things without prompting.

A man who fights with his child's Mother with the child sitting there deserves no respect. None. I am so sorry but you are obviously doing SO well and you have all my best wishes...and your DD will be just FINE with you to look up to.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Tue 26-Mar-13 14:58:06

Inspection done, I don't know why I worry, we have done so much to the place over the years it's unrecognisable, they love coming in to see what has changed, twunt has actually gained a fair bit of work from them, based on what we had done here.

Anyhoooo poker face was firmly on, said he'd had some random activity on his account, bank should honour long standing payment, but if any difficulty phone me and I'll drop cash up to the office, I must have done a good job, cos they were so sympathetic, ah has card been cloned etc blush felt horrid lying to them.

Right time to hit supermarket, poor Dd has been living out of the freezer for the last few days blush

mathanxiety Tue 26-Mar-13 15:04:06

Pom poms out and waving.

Well done. LL will be fine as long as they have their money on time. You haven't let them down (and have kept up increased the value of their property over the years so they owe you one anyway).

foolonthehill Tue 26-Mar-13 21:02:23

Excellent! Enjoy putting what you want in your supermarket trolley!

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Wed 27-Mar-13 10:09:21

Feeling good this morning grin

Dropped Dd off at cm's then decided to clear away a few cobwebs.

No point driving a wankers car if you don't drive like a wanker every now and then grin
Wednesday 13 on very loud, a blat up through the lanes and back down the m/way.
The best way to start the day grin grin

foolonthehill Wed 27-Mar-13 11:24:00

as you shout "FREEDOM......." at the top of your voice....

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe Wed 27-Mar-13 11:33:17

It was WANKERRRRRRRRR actually blush grin grin

foolonthehill Wed 27-Mar-13 13:38:44

grin.....better out than is he!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now