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Where do I go?!

(83 Posts)
Username123 Fri 15-Mar-13 19:56:55

After a year of dealing with my daughters father and his mother's issues and general control freak behaviour, tonight I received a call saying that they had discussed it and had decidedly that my daughter would be better off living with his mother, they are on the way round and could I have her bags packed.

Well, her bags are packed, as are mine and I am sitting in McDonalds not knowing what the fuck to do or where to go.

I have no living family members and don't want to go to a friends in case he finds me there.

I have £50 to my name until I can get to a bank tomorrow morning.

Obviously there is a shitload of backstory to this, but where can I go right now that would be safe?

I'm in east London in case that's relevant/helpful?

brianbennettfan Sat 16-Mar-13 19:08:45

Wishing you all the luck in the world and every happiness in your new nutter-free life. God bless and take care. x x thanks

Hope your meeting with the solicitor went well username. Are the Police able to accompany you to your property to fetch some items you might need for dd and yourself?

TisILeclerc Sat 16-Mar-13 20:30:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyBerryBush Sat 16-Mar-13 21:00:52

I was thinking about you today, hoping it all turned out well - and thankfully it has

cjel Sat 16-Mar-13 21:03:51

Just wanted to say that you are amazing. Lovely to hear you acted first and thought what next after. YOu kept dd very safe.You did just everything right and didn't let all the what ifs stop you. Hope you've had a good day.x

Username123 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:32:35

Thank you again for your lovely words, they are making me feel a bit stronger about all of this.

Today went about as well as it could have. The solicitor is a bloody angel, I swear it. She walked me through everything, got the stuff sorted for the emergency residency order, gave me advice on what benefits I'm entitled to, advised me to stay at the B&B until the order is in place then I can go home and finally told me to log each and every time ex and his crazy arse mother contact me, in what form and what they say and to let her know so she can arrange a restraining order if needed. Oh and she has drafted letter to send to ex and crazy mother informing them all contact should go through her, not me.

A couple of friends came with me (big scary mean types!) to my house to collect more of the things we need. I 'packed' last night in about 3 minutes so had 3 bras, one pair of underwear, no socks, 2 pairs of jeans and a vest top. The baby had similar lack of organised clothing.

So now we have clothes that match and are weather appropriate, money and a place to stay for the next week at least. Things are moving so fast my head is spinning slightly, but thankfully because it is so fast I don't have time to over think things, freak out and terrify myself.

As soon as the order comes through I can go back home and get back to vague normality.

Again, thank you. Can't say it enough.

Slainte Sat 16-Mar-13 21:34:43

Sounds like you did loads today, you must be exhausted. Hope you both get another good night's sleep.

NotMostPeople Sat 16-Mar-13 21:36:58

I wish you the very best of luck, your dd will thank you when she's older.

TheSilveryPussycat Sat 16-Mar-13 21:37:03

grin at 3 bras and no socks. Sorry can't help myself blush

Glad your day went so well smile

TisILeclerc Sat 16-Mar-13 21:42:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Username123 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:45:49

Lol, I had my own 'WTF?' Moment when I looked at my clothes this morning. Thankfully I had a cardigan on yesterday so wasn't completely freezing!

Beckamaw Sat 16-Mar-13 21:52:42

Another 'Yay!'
You are awesome and your little DD is so lucky. My youngest is the same age, so this especially resonates with me.
Sorry you are being put through this. So many women wouldn't have your balls. You are doing great!

GrumpyKat Sat 16-Mar-13 22:16:52

Just checked in and so glad to see you are coping so well. Who needs socks anyway? grin

BubblegumPie Sun 17-Mar-13 00:11:17

This thread is giving me a warm fuzzy feeling, so pleased you've had such amazing support OP. And you've handled yourself brilliantly, keep up the good work!

Well done Username123 sounds like you are a fab Mum looking out for your Dd's best interest.

SpecialAgentKat Sun 17-Mar-13 00:32:13

I am in awe of you.

Just caught up. Here's some wine wine wine for you and your big, scary, mean friends!

annielouisa Sun 17-Mar-13 13:16:22

This brings back huge memories for me I received a telegram (over 30 years ago) from my EXH basically saying get out of house and leave the girls they are mine. I was petrified he was violent and his DM and DF took his side in eveything.

No mumsnet in those days but I too went to the police and they were wonderful. Funnily he backed down when I told him I had shown the police the telegram and he tried to make out he had not sent it.

Be strong OP do not let these poisonous people spoil the wonder of ther relationship you have with your DD. You will be in my thoughts.

cjel Sun 17-Mar-13 17:33:10

So pleased you have found an angel and big scary mean friends. No more than you deserve.xx

MooMooSkit Sun 17-Mar-13 17:43:29

You are doing so well - well done you! If you need anything (it sounds like you have lots of friends tho) please pm me, i lived in e london till i was 22 and still visit reguarly x

MushroomSoup Sun 17-Mar-13 19:47:21

Bloody hell, well done you xx

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:03:19

I never cease to be amazed by the resiliance and strength of mothers on here! I'm in awe of you OP xx

EllaFitzgerald Sun 17-Mar-13 20:10:43

Nothing helpful to add, but you've been massively brave, even if you don't feel like it. You should be proud of yourself. A very difficult situation for you but you and your little one are safe and sound and getting the advice and support you need, and that's because of you. Keep strong.

cjel Wed 20-Mar-13 23:08:08

How you doing?

Username123 Fri 22-Mar-13 13:38:39

We're doing well!

The ERO came through yesterday, so tomorrow we will be moving back into our own house.

Have had not one single piece of contact from Ex or his family. I guess the police visit and solicitors letters were enough to scare them away, at least for now.

Have requested the HA to move us to another property (so Ex doesn't have address) but they seem unable to do this without putting us in temporary accommodation first, which I want to avoid as DD has enough upheavals at the moment! Solicitor is trying to convince them otherwise, but I guess my luck with amazingly helpful people have run out!

But yeah, we're doing great. Thank you all again for your lovely words and posts!

annie I thought only my Ex was dickhead enough to believe that I would just hand over my child with no arguments. Sorry for bring up bad memories for you sad

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