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DH unfaithful cliche, but minded to tell him to shove it. Too hasty?

(62 Posts)
DHtotalnob Fri 01-Mar-13 23:36:26

Hi - I've trawled these threads and realise that my story is almost exactly the same as everyone else's: DH, nice bloke and all, decides to express his unhappiness with reality by boning a colleague. Totally found out and now wants to start again. I have read so much good advice and feel at least that I'm thinking clearly.

However, there's one area of advice that I just can't get my head round but want to see if I'm missing the point. The gist seems to be that you make him break contact with OW and check he has done it and even tell OW DH to make doubly sure you've scuppered the relationship, then keep him on a short leash around texting and emails etc.

This doesn't sit right with me - I want him to stop what he's doing because he wants to, to be with his family, and not because I've forced him. My thinking at the moment is that he's been irresponsible enough and if he chooses to carry on he can fuck off, frankly.

Another however - I only found out about this last weekend and I am also aware that I probably don't know what I'm feeling at the moment.

Any insight or advice very much appreciated. xx

PS: DD1 is 4, DD2 is 14 mo. DH is 39 and a massive baby.

Siding? I meant sussing

LadyWidmerpool Fri 29-Mar-13 17:35:58

OP you are awesome

MidnightMasquerader Fri 29-Mar-13 18:22:51

Without doubt, one of the most thoroughly satisfying posts I think I've ever read in the relationship board. smile

You're amazing.

ElectricSoftParade Fri 29-Mar-13 18:41:49

OP, I salute you. Keep on going petal.

Creameggkr Fri 29-Mar-13 18:43:20

Well done op. I wish more women had your guts.
He's been well and truly TOLD.

lemonstartree Fri 29-Mar-13 19:13:54

you are really awesome.

I salute you, a woman with self respect who knows her value.

One day I hope your "husband' realizes what he lost

muddyboots Fri 29-Mar-13 21:01:32

So glad you've come back to update.

I really don't understand why he thought he could get away with anything - you're obviously as sharp as an under-ripe satsuma!

Considering your job, and your satsuma skills, STBXH really didn't appreciate you at all, did he?

You have all the qualities to be a fantastic role model for your DD. Much better than being stuck in a relationship where you're begging DH to give up the OW and continually feeling that you need to snoop on him to see if he's really being straight with you. Just think what that would teach DD.

You sound fierce. My total and utter respect for how you handled this.

Roseypozy Sun 31-Mar-13 20:21:54

Hey DH
It's me Rosey, stay strong and focused , we are here right beside you , a lovely beautiful kind and caring woman like you deserve so much better darling xxxxxx

Roseypozy Sun 31-Mar-13 20:23:28

Yes same message from me too !!!

skyebluesapphire Sun 31-Mar-13 20:29:51

well done for being so strong. you will have some tough times ahead no matter how strong you are, but you will get through it with that attitude.

wishing you all the best

and laughing at the satsuma

Shellington Sun 31-Mar-13 20:37:07

Amazing update OP - you are a credit to your DC. Best wishes for a bright future x

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