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Is this too petty and pointless?

(28 Posts)
candymam Wed 27-Feb-13 18:31:34

okay, i think i need a virtual slap and be told to stop being ridiculous but this has been bugging me.

Rewind back to valentines day, i gave my bf of 9 months a caret thought out range of little gifts that i knew he would like and enjoy, nothing expensive as we are both broke, spent around £20 for the lot including a card.

He goes through them, lots of thank-yous and you really shouldnt of, really likes the stuff and smiles all round.

Off he goes to fetch my card. Thats all. I am disappointed but i have the whole day and night with him and i think that will do me fine.

An hour or so later he needs to pop out for milk while i am in the shower and comes back with the milk and two packs of haribo sweets for me. I laugh and thank him bust open the bag and share them with him immediatly

All fine and dandy. Then he says, and i really wish he didnt -
'' i could of got you something better for valentines but i need the money to go out with the lads friday''

I just looked at him silently and went to make some tea.

I could of done with keeping the money too, i would of gone out with my friends, got a haircut whatever, but i didnt because i thought about him and what would be nice for him on valentines day.

So, its his birthday in a few days, i have his card, i am slightly ashamed to say i am so so very tempted to get him two packs of haribo to go with it.

Should i? I have seen a few things he would like as a birthday gift but i am actually still annoyed by his comment.
Should i forget it and give more normal birthday stuff?

Am i being way too petty?

Jellymuffin Thu 28-Feb-13 04:23:26

I'd run for the hills! This is the time in your relationship when he should be making little gestures and thinking about the impression that he makes and he obviously couldn't be bothered. Fine if you're the sort of person willing to put up with that but you're obviously not. Also the comment about going out with the lads is clearly designed to put you in you place. He's clearly just not ready for the sort of relationship you want.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Thu 28-Feb-13 05:45:32

Pretty crappy of him to comment like that, and you should've pulled him on it at the time.

However, you are in a fairly young relationship and already you are trying to point score? Either get over it or have it out with him.

oldwomaninashoe Thu 28-Feb-13 08:28:06

Sorry OP but you have got this way out of proportion.
You are not engaged or living together, and even if you were it is important to maintain contact with your friends, and your boyfriend had already made his plans for the week and budgeted accordingly.
Its not as if he said "I can't see you this week because I'm seeing my mates"
He spent valentines evening with you and brought you a card.
He was generous and thoughtful at Christmas, and on the whole you like him, why marr an evening bringing up a remark he made that he has probably forgotten he made, never for one moment thinking you would really be miffed by it, because he probably did not think for one second what he was saying would have such an effect on you.

Sorry you are being petty if he is otherwise a lovely bloke, I don't think it is that important.

I bet you said prior to Valentines day "we will just spend the evening together , not make a big fuss as we are both a bit skint" so he took you at your word! (like most men do)

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