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Interesting counselling conclusion

(109 Posts)
Mosman Wed 27-Feb-13 02:12:25

DH has seen a male counsellor twice now and the general conclusion seems to be that i have made all the major decisions in our marriage and at times rail roaded him into doing things he hasn't wanted. Getting a dog is one example, i wanted it he didnt.
Bottom line is though if i didn't kick his arse with various things we'd spend every weekend sat watching him play grand tarismo whatever so yes i have forced him to be a family man it certainly doesn't come naturally to him.

So are they saying this is my fault he's had these affairs ? It's escapism DH has said that all along.

izzyizin Sat 02-Mar-13 17:14:04

I sincerely hope that it is game over for him, Mos, because the losers will be your dc if you continue to play ball in order to keep your sham of a marriage ongoing.

wallypops Sat 02-Mar-13 17:40:53

I would have un-happily spent my life married to the worst kind of twunt to avoid the shame of divorce. It turns out that I love being divorced, absolutely no shame involved, plus I get every other weekend off. Don't like sharing the holidays, but from my point of view that is the only downside of actually being divorced. If you want sex, go ahead and get some, but that does NOT mean having to live with anyone other than the kids - who will give you all the love you could possibly want!

Diagonally Sat 02-Mar-13 17:46:30

I wouldn't go to the cou selling.

It's not very likely to work, by the sound of things - if you don't have a conscience, you can't exactly get one installed retrospectively.

I'd keep your distance and start planning your life the way you want it, without him featuring more than being the father of your children

Why would you wait for PR and trap yourself and the kids in a country where he is your only support system. I would scupper the whole thing and move myself and the kids home to have the support of family and friends.
You have a small baby 18 years is a long long time.

justaboutchilledout Sun 03-Mar-13 06:00:05

Squinkies, I think you are making several big assumptions there! I have recently emigrated and I know exactly what OP means - there is no way in hell I would come back to the UK if my marriage broke up.

Mosman Sun 03-Mar-13 10:15:04

Well lucky old you to have family and friends to return to, I would live around the corner from his trollop and have no job and places at the schools nobody else wants so I think I'll stay put.
He's never been a support system, what you've never had you never miss.

I'm sorry to hear that you have no support system either in Australia or UK. From that view I suppose whatever country you will have the better life in is the one to aim for.
I was making an assumption obviously, I can only go on what I have read (or remember) and seeing you only just moved there I assumed you had left behind friends and family.

Mosman Mon 04-Mar-13 01:12:38

I have more support in Australia than in the Uk so it's all good. Plus I've spent every penny i had getting here and settling in, I'm damn if that'll be for nothing. My mum arrived back in the UK with 2 suitcases 20 years ago leaving my step dad and was fine but that was back in the day went you went to the council and said I've got kids and they handed you keys for something within weeks, that would never happen now.

You're right it wouldn't happen now. I think I read that you will be a high earner in demand there too, so that is a huge plus. I hope it goes well, you sound stronger than I am.

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