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Living with a grumpy pessimist!

(28 Posts)
pinksomething Tue 26-Feb-13 11:30:03

If you're naturally cheery and optimistic and you've somehow ended up married to Mr Grumpy, how do you not get dragged down by it?
Help!

squeakytoy Tue 26-Feb-13 23:25:47

I am getting to a point now where I am seriously considering my future with my husband, due to his negativity and unending ability to find the downside to every single damn thing..

I have spent years laughing it off as he has got worse, and as I said in my first post, laughing at him and telling him to listen to himself is the only way I have of dealing with it.

I am "lucky" in that it isnt just me who sees this, and all his kids (my stepkids) who are adults, will pull him up on it too, and his own mum will as well.

My FIL was very similar, but he did have manic depression, which ultimately led him to take his own life five years ago. As a family we often point out to my husband that he is acting like his dad in many ways and he is the first to admit that his dad was a difficult person who was rarely happy or positive. This sometimes works, but more and more these days doesnt. Since his mid 40's, my husband has progessively got more and more anti-social. He was suffering from depression at one point, but certainly isnt now, as he freely admits he enjoys staying in, watching tv, going to bed early.. well sorry mate but I am 43, have no kids, and do not want to live like a pensioner... so I have now built myself a social life of my own, and intend to keep it. He isnt excluded other than by his own choice.

Cookingupastorm Wed 27-Feb-13 06:19:40

It would be lovely to have a list of 'Top tips for living with Mr Grumpy'...a new Mr Man book perhaps?

snowshapes Wed 27-Feb-13 06:38:55

I hadn't thought about this. STBXH would comment on everything, I mean, everything. And mostly in a quite negative way. But he painted himself as positive and optimistic. Hmmm. He actually wasn't. I don't remember when I last saw genuine joy. That is sad.

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