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I don't love him enough to be married anymore. I am a selfish bitch?

(57 Posts)
OhMyGlob Sat 23-Feb-13 18:56:27

I have just told DH that I can't do it anymore and I want to split for good.

He doesn't understand and thinks I'm a selfish bitch and says that he hates me so much now. I'm being selfish for not wanting to stay together to make him and the children happy.

I have tried, so hard over the last year to forget how I feel. I even went to counselling.

I can't make this easier can I?

Larry - I made it clear my post was directed to cronullansw, not the OP.

larrygrylls Mon 25-Feb-13 14:13:16

Freddie,

But Cronul's post was directed at the OP and I am guessing that she assumed the same as me, not that it was generalised advice that someone should put up with abusive behaviour. I think that you have to take things in context and not create straw men to blow down.

larry

What I took issue was this in the post from cron

"a parents feelings mean diddly squat until the kids are old enough to stand on their own two feet and that until then, you grit your teeth and fulfill your parental obligations."

And I asked at what point a wife who was abused may be allowed to stop gritting her teeth and fulfilling her parental obligations.

That's all.

Please don't try to read anymore into it than that. I was taking issue with cron, and the sweeping statement they made, not the OP which I have not commented on.

FellatioNels0n Mon 25-Feb-13 14:21:44

"I admire you for having the gumption, and the self-respect, to acknowledge that your own happiness is important enough to make such a difficult change and I wish you all the best."

Can you imagine anyone EVER saying that to a man about to leave his wife and children on here? Look, we don't need to tar and feather her, but we sure as hell do not need to congratulate her on her bravery either. This happens to marriages every day. You do what you have to do. You live with the consequences. You take the criticism on the chin.

cronullansw Mon 25-Feb-13 23:03:34

I never thought I'd have to explain to grown up, mature adults, that living under threats or actual violence is not a part of marriage.

cron - for many women, it is.

"Can you imagine anyone EVER saying that to a man about to leave his wife and children on here? Look, we don't need to tar and feather her, but we sure as hell do not need to congratulate her on her bravery either. This happens to marriages every day. You do what you have to do. You live with the consequences. You take the criticism on the chin."

Quite.

What she is doing might well be right for her but clearly it's causing a lot of hurt elsewhere. So, no, no bunting and balloons from me either.

OP - without further details I can't offer advice but I hope your decision brings you happiness eventually x

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