Every time xp has ds age 12 for the weekend he seems to forget something vital and demands that I drive over to his flat to hand deliver it. Last time it was shin pads, the time before that it was school shoes, today it is full school uniform. I was out this morning and I am working a 12 hour shift tonight and again tomorrow night so it is inconvenient for me to do his fetching and carrying. Tomorrow, xp has to pass the end of my road to take ds to football. I have text xp and said he is welcome to come and collect anything ds needs from the house at any time - ds has a key - or he can bring him home at 8am on Monday to get changed for school and I will do the school run. I think I am being reasonable but xp is insisting I hand deliver ds' uniform tomorrow.
It's all so petty and I can't be bothered with the aggro but on the other hand I don't want to feel or be controlled by xp any more. Also, he has these tantrums in front of ds who I know will be very anxious about not having his uniform and even more upset by the continued conflict.
I could be the bigger person and just do it but it happens every single weekend when he has ds. I think he is trying to hang on to a modicum of control and in doing so is teaching ds that women are there to fetch and carry when the man snaps his fingers. If he could say please or thank you or would you mind awfully, then he would get a much better result.
He left us over two years ago for ow and I completely and utterly fell apart but I have worked really hard and got myself a new life, a new job and a new man. I run the family home single-handedly and I've got my pride back. I am happier than I have been for many years. I treat xp politely but just get hostility in return. What shall I do?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
ExP trying to control me or should I acquiesce?
drasticpark · 23/02/2013 18:01
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.