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Friends/ Lack of....

(77 Posts)
MillyMollyMandy78 Sat 23-Feb-13 14:36:51

Ok, here's a brief overview: i'm 35 with no kids (husband doesn't want them). I'm not particularly outgoing but people tend to like me. I'm friendly and quite chatty once you get to know me. I am generally easy to get along with and very loyal and caring, good listener, don't babble on about myself etc.
However most of my life i have had problems making/ keeping friends. Only had 3 close friends in my life (apart from husband) and they all seem to eventuallystop seeing me/ drift away. My best friend at the moment is the latest case...we spoke almost 2 weeks ago for over an hour, chatting as normal etc. she lives the other end of the country but today i saw on facebook she is coming to my area to meet all her other friends (different groups), except for me. I'm very hurt as my friend didn't say that she wa coming, but in the phonecall she said we must meet some time soon as hadbeen ages (over a year). This same situation has happened a couple of other times too. So what is it about me that makes this happen? Why can't i make/ keep friends? Feel hurt and lonely. Any ideas would be gratefully received.

myrosie Sun 31-Mar-13 23:00:47

So glad I found this thread, and hope you don't mind me joining in, as I am quite a bit older than most of you, and my children have now left home. I often feel very lonely, and what you say about early relationship with my mother rings so true with me. I never felt my Mum liked me, she never praised me, and we were not close. She was also like that with my sister who is 11 years younger than me, but she was different with my brother.

I feel pathetic that something from so long ago is still affecting me at my age!! - what can I do to change at this late stage? But I have found it hard to make/keep friends and often wonder what "vibe" I give out that is unattractive to others. I truly think there must be something. I have put on a lot of weight in past few years, and I think many people are put off by that. Or is it that I don't like myself, and that is off putting to others?

I very recently got a book called How to raise your self esteem by Nathaniel Brandon, and the first part I read had me in tears. It really touched something in me, so I will read further and see if it helps.

How sad to think so many people feel so alone, but in a way good to know you aren't the only one. Thanks op for starting this thread.

Chesntoots Mon 01-Apr-13 06:11:20

It brought it home to me recently when I realised I didn't have two people, apart from family, that I could ask to witness my will... How much does that suck?!

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