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Staying strong, moving on

(8 Posts)
Ikeameatballs Sat 23-Feb-13 17:02:14

Also angry as Monday will be the first time ever in over 2 years shock that he has taken dc to swimming lessons. He claims that this is because he is at worjk then but actually it's because he goes straight to the pub after work on Mondays.

Ikeameatballs Sat 23-Feb-13 16:49:26

Emotional day.

Picked the dc up from pil who both wanted to talk me round into giving it another chance. Had to explain to them that for me to feel confiden that p had changed it would take about 5 years of sensible behaviour (not drinking to excess, managing his money, reasonable job etc) and that that was an unrealistic timeframe for me to put my life on hold for, he has had warnings before that this would happen etc etc. Fil then must have range p to tell him all of this, he then called round at home for something he needed looking dreadful. Despite all the shit he has done I still feel for him so that was upsetting. Then I took the dc sledging, he rang and asked to see them so he then tuned up. Very hard to just not be how we had been iyswim. We both got upset when he asked if he could see the dc tomorrow and I suggested he just say he would see them after school on Monday.

But...also now feeling v. angry. I have lost what I wanted from my life too, a happy home with dp and dc, and it is not my fault that this has happened. His parents have his best interests at heart, I have to do what is right for me and my dc.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 22-Feb-13 23:35:00

Good for you OP.

Do you have any friends that may like to take their children along on a trip also?

Ikeameatballs Fri 22-Feb-13 23:31:00

Have just booked a little trip away for e and the dc at Easter, not exciting in itself but exciting because I will be doing it without him!

Ikeameatballs Fri 22-Feb-13 23:30:17

Thanks ladies.

Think you are right about being civil/factual, think have probably been too nice so far.

Moanranger Fri 22-Feb-13 22:59:30

IKWYM! Even though it is hard to end a relationship, you have set out a really good list of positives. I suggest you try to have minimum contact with him & try to keep conversation civil/factual. Good luck!

ClippedPhoenix Fri 22-Feb-13 22:58:24

Well I'm here to hold your hand due to just doing the same thing tonight actually so cheers to us huh.

Ikeameatballs Fri 22-Feb-13 22:53:52

I posted on here a while ago after some advice and, I suppose, confirmation, that I was doing the right thing (http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1669081-What-would-you-do).

I told him on Sunday that I thought we should split up and he has, tonight finally spent the first night not here. I don't think that he really thinks I will see it through. I think he thinks he will persuade me again that he will change. I am determined to be strong and see it out.

I want to be single, not because I want to seek out a new partner or new dates etc but because I want the simplicity of life without a man.

I want to set my children good examples of relationships.

I want to pay the bills and not be worried that someone else can't be trusted to do so.

I want to enjoy my life.

Help me to stay strong!

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