Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Relationship Counselling was amazing!

(6 Posts)

That's great to hear, Orm. You deserve happiness

Slippersox Wed 20-Feb-13 20:15:59

Read your earlier posts ORM and funnily enough was only thinking about you earlier today and wondering how you were getting on.That's great to hear.I used to post under a different name.Not sure why I changed really.Just panicked one day that I'd given away too much info and that OW may read and recognise and be privy to my thoughts!
Just to say hope it continues to help.We had a really lovely counsellor but tbh in hindsight for me we went way too soon.Just 3 weeks post discovery and I was still in shock and so numb it was more like role play than the real me IYSWIM.My DH on the other hand to this day thinks it was brilliant,it was his idea to go and that was one of the reasons I took his remorse seriously.I think I personally needed more time and space to process MY thoughts before going thought he couples counselling process. My DH is convinced getting there early kept us together and gave him a chance to fight to 'win me back' Sadly I'm not sure he ever will completely.Our life together is good and happy now almost 3 years on in so many ways, but I don't think I will ever feel that total carefree love and blind trust in anyone ever again.And sad to say I never feel quite as 'married' as I felt before if that makes sense. I've no intention of leaving after coming so far,and realistically that shitty period was a fraction of our lives together so on we go, growing older and wiser together.
Sorry to hijack.Its been a strangely reflective day today.I still have them,but happily not as often.Good luck.

Poledra Wed 20-Feb-13 13:53:07

Oh, Orm, I often think of you. I'm glad that counselling is helping you sort out your thoughts and feelings. Best of luck with it. smile

lovemydogs Wed 20-Feb-13 13:49:51

that's great I hope things continue to improve for you

Glad to hear it's been beneficial for you.

H and I have been three times so far. Took ages to find a counsellor that could fit us in in the evenings but it seems he's a good'un.

I can't beleive how simply talking it out, and being gently guided by some otherwise perfectly ordinary bloke, can result in so much clarity.

We've hardly touched on the affair - by my desire as much as anyone else's. I had the chance to have a bit of a rant last week but I didn't want to dwell on it. We've already talked through so much of it again and again already - MC was supposed to be about what lead up to it.

We've managed to map out the history of our relationship - it's ups and downs, and what contributed to them. All my resentment, all his insecurities, all the things we should have said but didn't, all the things we should have done but didn't. And all the things we both did right and all the wonderful years - that far outweigh the crappy years and the things we said and did wrong. We've played with plastic figures to recreate the way we both seperately see our family dynamic - and just how much DS2 has impacted us and the rest of the family.

Last night he made up both write a list of the things we liked and admired about each other. H's list was such an eye-opener - all the things he said were the things he's always said (mostly) but I have NEVER really heard him before. In 30 years I haven't heard or beleived how much he loves me. Until now. What an idiot.

Feel so good (for now!)

Having 2 weeks off - it's exhausting for both of us. But back again in March.

I'm still not 100% sure I want to stay in this marriage, but beginning to see the wood for the trees now.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now