Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

what if dh tells you hes wanking?

(108 Posts)
arabellaandbaby Tue 19-Feb-13 22:36:05

i dont know where to start and havent told anyone in RL as im too embarrassed and ashamed.

my dh has told me recently that hes really unhappy with our sex life. his sex drive is much higher than mine and i often turn him away as im so tired physically and mentally from working such long hours and also looking after our 3yo dd. dh also works long hours but doesnt seem fazed by it at all.

last night, he basically admitted to me that hes been 'pleasuring himself' because he doesnt get enough from me. i told him i cant do it when im so tired and stressed after a long day at work but he said he loves me, and has to resort to sorting himself out in order not to stray. he said to me he now understands why many men stray when in a relationship that does not satisfy them sexually as men are built to need sex.

i feel so unhappy that i cant satisfy his needs. he says he doesnt want to force me when clearly, my body language is telling him im not in the mood.

what do i do? hes starting to question whether i lov hin

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:03:45

Actually, im bored now!

RobDile197 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:03:50

Lucy, you are wasting your energy feeling sorry for me. You may understand that i am not a Man who goes his own way. I only recognise and acknowledge this as a growing trend among some rather good men. I love women and get along with loads of them, offline of course. I hope that the men in your life don't know 'their place' as below you or suffering in silence. They would be mice if they did, and you'd be unfulfilled. Good luck.

Focussing on a relationship thread for 24 hours, where, given the fact that the majority of mothers are in female/male relationships, and are drawn to this section to specifically discuss issues in their relationships as a tiny percentage of the UK basically allows you the right to make sweeping judgements on people and character assassinations on individuals does it dile?

You had nearly every post removed last night, please take the hint andmove on from this forum to something more suitable for you.

Anyfucker certainly doesn't need me to stand up for her, but I can categorically state that her posts to concerned OP's are far more rational, balanced and supportive than yours.

fluffyraggies Sun 24-Feb-13 21:19:00

"MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Way: As the name suggests, MGTOW is a lot like lesbian separatism, but for straight dudes. MGTOW often talk vaguely about seeking “independence” from western and/or consumer culture, and a few MGTOW try to live that sort of zen existence. But most of those who embrace the term have a deep hostility towards and/or profound distrust of feminists and women in general. Many MGTOW refuse to date “western women” and some try to avoid women altogether."

Do you think this is an accurate description of MGTOW Rob?

You're saying you love women, but haven't shown any empathy here.

AF is neither of the things you said.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Feb-13 21:19:31

Yes, AF perfectly capable of standing up for herself - however i will say this as she wont feel the need to stoop to your level - she is happily married!

Vijac Sun 24-Feb-13 21:39:10

I agree with sausagesandwich, it's fine to wank and no reflection on you but not so nice to say it is to stop him cheating!

LineRunner Sun 24-Feb-13 22:01:52

Just report to MNHQ if people break the guidelines and let MNHQ do the rest.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:07:55

Did the OP ever come back?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now