have tears in my eyes - feel totally out of my depth with my dd. shes 14 and has turned into a complete brat. i cant get her to do anything i ask. no matter what i ask or how small a task she has a default answer of 'no mam'. she argues back constantly, either that or shes in her room on the internet.
i lost about two hours sleep last nite due to her phone vibrating i had to get up to her 3 times to ask her to turn it off. its like she is a walking zombie. never apologises for anythign. i literally couldnt get her out of bed until 5pm on sat - she just refused and in fairness seemed so tired.
so anyway just now i told her she was to leave her phone out of her room by 9pm on a weeknight and no internet access after 9pm. she lost the head and started shouting i hate you (the ususal teenage stuff) when she said i am going to bang this door and i dont give a shit. she was literally roaring at me. so she started banging the door over and over then nearly took the stair down with the stomping and then banged her bedroom door.
havent seen her since and haven't a clue how to deal with this. instinct is telling me to take her phone, laptop, tv. is this enough or too much.
Help!!! this is literally driving me mental - feel i am not able to cope with her anymore
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teenage dd - out of my depth
schooldays · 18/02/2013 18:05
I sympathise so much - I've had a pretty rough ride with my 13 year old DD today too - I booked a haircut for us both and she suddenly declared she wasn't going and just started walking off home - had a real scene in the middle of the high street! It's scary when they just point blank defy you but I am finding that threatening to take the ipad away gets her back in line.
My DH reckons that it's the same as in selling techniques, you have to find the customers 'hot spot' and push it for all you're worth. Same applies to teenage girls, know what the best 'hot spot' deterrent is i.e. internet, seeing friends etc etc, threaten to withdraw it and then see it through if you have to. But above all, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I bet there are thousands of us that have had days we'd rather forget today thanks to our teenage, hormonal, stroppy DDs!! 
izzyizin
PMSL at taking her doors off its hinges...... 
Mine would quite literally have killed us while we slept..........
You'd have been in no danger if you'd reinforced your bedroom door with tamper proof hinges/steel plates/iron and a Banham lock, Thing
Or you could have upgraded their bedroom door and made sure they were securely behind it before you went to bed.
Where there's a will, there's always a way 
I actually did take my daughters bedroom door off, mainly as it was a complete tip and she refused to do any tidying up. She eventually got it back, but I swear to god I wanted social services to take ME into care she was that bad. I got through with a mixture of punishments, as in grounding, for no more than two days at a time, otherwise it was just torchering me, taking her SIM card off her, and rewarding her on the occasions she didn't manage to piss me off by buying her something, magazine, some make up, etc. You have my sympathy, I wouldn't have got through it without lots and lots of wine and fags!! Since she's grown up I don't smoke and hardly touch drink
Take the door, she can dress/undress in the bathroom. I'd also confiscate the phone and laptop each night and if she doesn't improve her behavior, remove them for the day or week or whatever is appropriate. I went shopping with the X-box controllers in my car works like a charm.
ImperialBlether That is so funny that she didn't realize what she had said.
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The scourge of cyberbullying is a recent phenomena which causes untold misery to thousands of victims who become increasingly distressed and/or are unable to defend themselves in the face of an onslaught hateful and hurtful messages from so-called friends and strangers alike.
The truly frightening aspect of cyberbullying is that many parents have absolutely no idea it's happening to their children until it's too late.
.
Bugger pussyfooting around for fear of transgressing the supposed rights of our children to a certain degree of privacy in which to engage in virtual social interaction.
It's incumbent on all of us to police our dcs' use of the net and, where it rears its ugly head, flush cyberbullying out in the open and call it what it is, which is sheer bloodyminded nastiness on the part of bullying cowards and other lowlife who hide behind the relative anonymity of the worldwide web 
Absolutely take away anything that gives comfort to her life, if she treats you so horridly. You housed her, fed and raised her, she should be grateful you don't kick her out. The snotty brat! And don't cook her meals either you are not her servant.
It also seems to me she's addicted to entertainment and the sooner you break the addiction the better. She should only be focusing on her schoolwork. She'll thank you later.
This coming from a childless 21 year old woman who was once a former brat. 
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