And now I'm shitting myself! I think it's true, I haven't felt anything except mild annoyance over him for a while now, but now I have said it out loud before I meant to because he pissed me off tonight. And I can't take it back now it's been said.
We are broke, both earn peanuts and there is no way either of us can manage on our own - we are overdrawn and have a 4k cc bill. Wtf was I doing telling him now? I mean, we are getting out of debt, managing all payments and have clawed back almost half the overdraft in the last 8 months by tightening our belts (we had no Xmas presents except small things for the kids and I had my hair done as a birthday present, that was it, not even a card and nothing for Valentines Day to save money). In another year or so it would have been fine but not yet.
We get lots of TC and I would get more still if he left, but he has no money to pay maintenence unless he wants to live in a cardboard box, which I'm not having - he is the father of my kids and I am fond of him and won't do that to him or them - but how can I run the household without his income too? I mean it isn't much but it's a shitload more than nothing. And we own the house, so no chance of help towards the mortgage (which is cheaper than renting round here anyway). And I have 23p in my savings account. Oh, and 44p in my paypal account. Shit. What have I done? Why didn't I just keep pretending?
I'm sitting here with my heart pounding. The daily grind of it all, plus the running round after the kids (and DS3 takes a LOT of running after!) had just worn me down and I just snapped. I was going to wait until the stress of money worries had eased, by which time hopefully DS3 wouldn't be so full on, and then work out whether I still wanted to be in this relationship or not. Now I don't know what will happen. Should I pretend I was just cross and wanted to hurt him? Hell, that might be true for all I know. I can't work it out. I just wish I hadn't said it.
Anyone else done this and recovered things? Any advice? What I have done
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Relationships
Just told DH I don't love or fancy him, and I don't want to be his wife anymore....
scarednow · 17/02/2013 21:11
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