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could you date someone who cant spell?

(70 Posts)
oopsadaisymaisy Sun 17-Feb-13 19:07:08

I fully expect to need my hard hat, please don't be too harsh. I like someone, he's really sweet and he makes me laugh but he can't spell. We text each other a lot and I'm amazed at how poor his spelling is. I'm not talking the odd spelling mistake, I make them myself, I mean seriously bad spelling. It's not going to stop me seeing him but it does bother me a little bit.

Invents not invests!

My Dp can't spell to save his life, and his writing is atrocious. Dd who is 8 helps him spell when he's goggling on the computer.
He is the smartest man I have ever known, he should have been an engineer type smart, he invests tools to meet his own needs. He can fix or learn to fix absolutely anything. He can also hold a conversation (if it wasn't for social anxiety) and talk in depth about a myriad of topics, he loves to learn, read (all be it slowly) and watch documentaries. OP Please don't judge him on his spelling, he might be fantastic.

I do that but with the alphabet always have to start at A

beck colour is one of those impossible words, like the 'first months' and no, I can't put the months in order without going through all of them with a song. grin

OP it seems it's not that he can't spell it's because he is a bit dim. As a very dyslexic person, I can also happily say I would not date someone dim.

Beck the word colour to me looks wrong always has I always spell color then have put the u letter in its nice to see so my partners supporting there other halfs. I still am embrassed about my grammer spelling and when I do instrustions I say them back to front etc my xh was never supportive but my dp is and my self estem as improved so much

Beckamaw Sun 17-Feb-13 23:57:57

There is a massive difference between lazy, shit spelling and dyslexia.
I am massively pedantic about language. My DP is severely dyslexic, cannot even order months chronologically. He couldn't write his own name until he was a teenager. He also gets very cross with the number of people who label themselves 'dyslexic', because it is not just about shit spelling!

He's been very successful, is an outstanding artist, great common sense. He is also intelligent, considerate, kind, respectful and thoughtful.

But if he asks me how to spell 'colour' one more time.............!

Arisbottle Sun 17-Feb-13 21:47:09

HollBerryBushSun 17-Feb-13 21:09:09

He's not very intelligent either but he's so cute.

No. Would have no potential earning power, I wouldnt want a life of poverty. And looks fade.

Do you not have any faith in your own earning power? My DH is a rubbish speller fortunatley he is better at the practicals of cunnilingus than the spelling of it.

You can also meet some very bright people who do not earn a lot of money or some very rich people who are not that intelligent. I would rather be with a poor intelligent person than a rich thick one.

I think matching intellects are important.

betterthanever Sun 17-Feb-13 21:42:33

When my ex who had left me when pregnant suddenly made contact after over 6 years - my annoyance at his terrible grammar and spelling in the shitty email he sent me - (He's instead of His best interest is one example).... almost sent me over the edge.
That said sometimes people use a different way of speaking via text - a colleague writes for a living but does some weird spelling things via text to me.

fluffyraggies Sun 17-Feb-13 21:21:50

My DHs spelling is ... middling to not good.

Mine is about the same grin

The ability to spell matters not a jot in his career. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is a loving, funny and gorgeous bloke.

The ability to spell or not isn't a measure of intelligence or an indicator of a persons ability to care. I actually find his spelling mistakes rather endearing.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 21:09:09

He's not very intelligent either but he's so cute.

No. Would have no potential earning power, I wouldnt want a life of poverty. And looks fade.

BertieBotts Sun 17-Feb-13 20:52:09

I think intelligence is a pretty big factor in compatibility... if one of you is vastly more intelligent than the other then it's easy to fall into a pattern where the relationship is not equal. I notice for example that you've called him "cute" (rather than, say, good-looking, hot, fit, sexy) as well as "not very clever" - just be careful you're not infantilising him, you don't want to turn into your ex!

DP would probably say I'm cleverer than him on paper and it's probably true that I'm more academic, but he's most likely going to be more successful career-wise than I'll ever be because he's good at that kind of thing, whereas I'm hopelessly disorganised and scatty, and a bit anxious. But in conversation we're pretty equally matched. It's important to be able to have a good conversation IMO.

nqtatwitsend Sun 17-Feb-13 20:51:32

I dated someone who sent me a text from ikea saying that he had seen a nice Chester draws for my bedroom. The relationship was doomed from then on...

HecateWhoopass Sun 17-Feb-13 20:46:35

being unable to spell wouldn't bother me.

But I couldn't be with someone who was not a match for me intelligence wise.

That sounds arrogant grin but I actually mean either far less or far more.

0blio Sun 17-Feb-13 20:41:20

Apologies in advance for being off-topic, but kinkyfuckery are you Scottish?

I use the word 'outwith' and my English colleagues look at me like this --> confused

I think it goes beyond the spelling.

It's about having compatible levels of intelligence. I spell v well. So does DH in the main.

My friend can't spell but her DH can. She just reworks her sentence if she thinks a word is wrong. She is actually on paper much cleverer than him.

mercury7 Sun 17-Feb-13 20:36:40

if my impression of a man was that he was 'not very intelligent' then I dont think i'd be able to make the right kind of connection with him
I'd be unable to resist the temptation to talk down to him

sapphirestar Sun 17-Feb-13 20:26:23

My ex used to spell things like haveing, giveing etc! Made my teeth itch!

mizu Sun 17-Feb-13 20:18:20

Yes, I could and I am married to him. DH's first language is not English and his spelling is not the best.

GreatUncleEddie Sun 17-Feb-13 20:16:31

I could be with someone who couldn't spell through dyslexia. I couldn't be with someone a bit dim, I really couldn't.

sydlexic Sun 17-Feb-13 20:15:22

I am dyslexic, obviously.My Spelling is considerable better than that of my DH. It annoys me because I have had to work hard and he is too lazy to bother.

LittleEdie Sun 17-Feb-13 20:05:58

If there's a good amount of chemistry, then yes I would.

Bluemonkeyspots Sun 17-Feb-13 20:03:22

My dh writes the way he talks. I'm not even going to try and give an example as it really is a skill only he can demonstrate. Used to do my head in but he is a great husband/dad and I'm lucky to have him most of the time so just let it slide (though I do sometimes cringe when he sends me a Facebook message that all my friends and family can read)

JulietAndRomeo Sun 17-Feb-13 19:45:33

Hmmm. My DH is very clever and mildly dyslexic and a terrible speller - and unemployed.

Do I mind that he can't spell? No.

Do I mind that he's unemployed? Yes. A lot.

Do I think the two are related? Yes.

Dont ever underestimate the consequences of dyslexia. It shapes your whole life in weird ways.

It depends - if you don't find him mentally stimulating, you are on a hiding to nothing.

VelvetSpoon Sun 17-Feb-13 19:42:16

One of my Exs couldn't spell for shit. He has dyslexia which wasn't picked up properly at school. But he tried so hard, did a lot to educate and improve himself, and used to write me poems (after spell checking them thoroughly!). I was always very touched by that effort smile

For me, spelling isn't as important as what someone has to say for themselves - my DS's dad has no issues with spelling BUT he's really quite unintelligent, knows nothing about anything.

I know which I'd prefer.

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