Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

found knickers, not mine!

(148 Posts)
sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:06:19

BF returned on Sat' from working on big construction proj' in Middle East. Whilst emptying his sports bag this morning. I was surprised that all clothes within were freshly washed, not folded, but clean. Also within were a pair of flimsy, pink knickers, clean, and way to small to be mine or for me. He had to go away again this morning for a meeting and is back tomorrow eve'. Haven't confronted him yet. He does have a lot of laddish mates out there. I don't know I'm clutching at straws here.. help! advice please!!!

Geordieminx Sun 17-Feb-13 09:08:16

Could be one if his mates putting them in there for "a laugh" or if his washing was all clean then perhaps they got mixed up at the hotel laundry?

Or.. Well...

noddyholder Sun 17-Feb-13 09:09:13

We have had this before can't remember the outcome though!

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 09:10:47

My 50p bet says his mates.

If they were worn knickers I might have another opinion.

Similarly if he room shares, and one of his mates had a dolly bird back, he might have scooped up errant items when he packed.

1001 totally reasonable explanations.

The question is - do you trust him?

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:19:49

I do trust him.... but they do lots of boozing and I know there are some rather annoyingly attractive, "sociable" women out there too. ... I can't get him on the phone until tonight. Never before have his clothes come back clean!

Selba Sun 17-Feb-13 09:20:04

i've never understood how unexpected knickers could really mean infidelity. If you have sex ( especially with someone you are not supposed to) surely you don't then leave without your knickers?

Also I'm curious as to why you were emptying his bag

Selba Sun 17-Feb-13 09:20:54

I think you should wear them on your head when he walks in the door

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 09:22:21

Don't ask on the phone. Wait till he gets back.

I would just be standing there, twirling them round on the end of my finger with a look. But then, I'm used to unpacking all sorts of bizarre things after a golf holiday ....

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:22:55

Yes HollyBerryBush I agree. Soiled would have been worse, in every way.

Hotel laundry cock up?

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:26:59

I don't know either. But waking up still half pissed, the blokes gotta catch a flight, he grabs clothes stuffs them in bag. Fuck knows... Also if I don't empty his sodding bag it sits here for eternity.

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:30:04

Hotel laundry cock up is what I reckon too - they are clean!

Lavenderhoney Sun 17-Feb-13 09:34:38

If they had been washed by a laundry they will have a laundry label on then, a small tag thing glued on. They do mix things up as well so it's possible.

Otherwise you could comment on the outstanding quality of his clothes ( has it happened before, all washed and ironed?) and then produce the knickers.

He isn't a secret knicker wearer is he? Are they too small for him? Does he have to share a room? That seems unlikely to me tbh, his mates doing that.

What's your gut feeling? And why are you doing his washing?!!

onetiredmummy Sun 17-Feb-13 09:36:40

Has there been a reason to suspect infidelity before, OP?

Pendipidy Sun 17-Feb-13 09:39:52

People who say why are you emptying his bag and doing his washing - this site is so over pc sometimes. The majority of women do their husbands washing and ironing. I would empty the bag too if he just left it sitting around!

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:50:00

First off - If I don't do the washing it doesn't get done! My fault, my shame possibly, probably, but that's how it is. My gut feeling or maybe my worse fear is that he's a cheating fucker. He doesn't share a room. No tags or laundry labels anywhere. saying that though, his stuff must have been washed by hotel laundry, (he certainly wouldn't), knicker confusion there, clothes put in his room and he in customary fashion just stuffed them in his bag. Yes that's it... 'Deep breath'

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:51:12

thanks Pendipidy. Was feeling a bit 'got at' there.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 09:53:45

I don't understand the washing thing either; this forum is frankly odd at times.

I can only assume that all the women who don't do partners washing, neither cook for them, make a cup of tea nor expect their partners to do the same for them Must be like flatmates.

But what I want to know is: all this non washing of partners stuff, is there like a rotation for communal things such as bedlinen?

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:54:26

My Sis' too just suggested his mates having a laugh. Trouble is, I've never heard him saying how they nailed one of his mates by stuffing knickers in his suitcase before. I know men are twats sometimes, but that's very schoolboy! Mmm yes I see what you mean.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 09:55:26

Inflatable sheep - now thats one to explain grin

sammerinna Sun 17-Feb-13 09:57:07

kids up now, back later. Thank you all for advice. x

MorrisZapp Sun 17-Feb-13 09:58:15

Me and DP have separate laundry baskets and each take care of our own stuff. I do the bedding too, DP usually does the towels.

I don't understand 'if I don't do it it doesn't get done' if both partners work. If you are SAHM then doing his laundry makes sense but otherwise wtf.

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 10:00:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 10:01:07

Do you mow half the lawn each too? and wash half a car?

Nowt queerer than folks!

HecateWhoopass Sun 17-Feb-13 10:03:34

If his clothes normally come back dirty but this time they are clean, then my paranoid mind would leap instantly to - they smelled of another woman/a woman's perfume/had makeup on them/etc. And he scooped up all the dirty clothes in his room and got the hotel to launder them, not realising these knickers were on the floor under his or whatever, and so they got laundered too and everything was brought back to him in a pile, which he just put straight into his bag without checking.

But it could be anything and if you've no other reason to think it's the above, then go with laundry cock up or mates pissing about.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now