Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Obsessing about XDPs new DP, who may be a figment of my imagination

(8 Posts)
MaudWebster Sat 16-Feb-13 22:14:51

You're right, I know you are.

Perhaps the kegel/ken wah balls will help me move on......wink

HecateWhoopass Sat 16-Feb-13 21:20:41

Do you have a new person in your life? Could it be jealousy or sadness that he's moved on?

And don't think of any possible or future partner of his as an other woman. He's free to date or marry or whatever and his relationships are not defined by the relationship he used to have with you.
I know that sounds harsh but you're only hurting yourself if you see things the way you describe.

Put him firmly and wholeheartedly in your past and look forward, not backward!

izzyizin Sat 16-Feb-13 21:15:44

Yep, they sure do - and they double up as clackers grin

Cailinsalach Sat 16-Feb-13 21:13:29

Look its over and you should move on.

Have you considered taking up a new hobby?

Why not try kegel/ken wah balls? Apparantly they help you to improve your dancing and appreciation of asian food.

EllieArroway Sat 16-Feb-13 21:09:09

It's a very odd thing that we do. It's over, we know that, we're glad it's over & don't want him back......but.....but.... deep, deep down what we also want is that he's so devastated at the loss of us that he's run off to join holy orders because we've ruined him for any other woman!

It's not him & it's not her - it's you. This is all about self-esteem & knowing that he could potentially be happy with someone else is shaking your foundations.

I won't be crude enough to suggest getting over him by getting under someone else actually, yes I will but it's time to get back out there. Find someone who makes you feel wonderful and he & any of his new partners will be a vague and distant memory. Guaranteed smile

JumpingJackSprat Sat 16-Feb-13 20:53:36

sooo... you've split up, hes possibly moved on... in the nicest possible way its none of your business.

kalidanger Sat 16-Feb-13 20:49:14

Oh dear. Facebook, eh. Block him, block her and try to get on with your life smile Are you dating?

MaudWebster Sat 16-Feb-13 20:29:53

Last year I was dumped by DP. Not nice but not the end of the world. We'd been together a few years and the relationship had run its course so that was that. Theres been no contact which seems to suit both of us and I feel I'm well rid of him.

Problem for me is that I've worked out that there may be an OW, but as we're finished I suppose she's his DP. She's someone who shares a sporting interest with him, same club etc. He'd mentioned her in passing a while back and I'd seen a photo of her from the club(she looks like a more well preserved me).

I happened to find out by stalking her FB page that she was separated. Since then I've (in my head) got her and XDP in a relationship. There's abolutely no evidence of this but it seems possible and I've become immaturely jealous of her. I'm not sticking pins in plastercine dolls or playing Adele songs incessantly, but its taking up a lot of head space when I could be concentrating on something beter confused. Talk some sense into me, please. I'm not normally mad as a fish prone to such nonsense, so whats all this about?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now