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Logistics of actually leaving

(2 Posts)
Letsmakecookies Sat 16-Feb-13 09:39:04

If you are unhappy then you owe it to yourself to make changes.

Go and talk to CAB, and get practical advice, have a look at entitledto.co.uk to see which benefits you might be eligible for. You can always go into a jobcentre and ask for practical advice on benefits there too, if you want to talk to someone face to face. Make sure that the child benefit is in your name. He will have to pay you some maintenance for the children. And one step at a time, nothing is as difficult as it first seems, and take all the support you can from friends and family it will really help.

mixedmamameansbusiness Sat 16-Feb-13 09:26:32

I have been unhappy for as long as I can remember. DH spend sour entire time moaning about how inept I am relating to the house. I am, but I do try but I just feel busy all the time. I ferry kids to any extra activities of which there are not really any but beavers because we can't afford it, any parties are my responsibility. The kids are not to make mess, stop making noise, he regularly swears at them.

He claims he spends all his days off cleaning as if I don't do any.

Anyway all if this aside, I want out and we just had a blazing row in front of the kids and I told him to leave if he is unhappy and he told me I should leave.

The problems are the following, and I know that nobody owes us anything I just want to make the transition as smooth as I can.

We live in a council flat. Dh works so we do not receive any benefits etc.

I have one debt that I pay 100 pounds a month to and sh has about 300/400 pounds.

We have three DSs under the age if 7.

If he leaves he will obviously have to rent privately and he will not be able to afford it, particularly if he needs at least a small room for the boys. He definitely won't be able to live where we do/school is etc. so perhaps making it harder for him to see them.

If I leave I have no where to go, my parents live in a hosting association flat with my brother who has mental health problems. I would have to go there in the first instance and have an hour journey for school each day but presumably I could then be added to our boroughs very long waiting list.

I have never had any benefits so I have no clue where to start.

Would he even be allowed to keep our flat? He is the lead tenant.

The final thing is if we leave then it will be bitter and horrible and once I have gone to my parents it will be very hard to go back as I know my parents will be very happy.

Any help welcome.

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