Hi, I've posted on this really minor problem that has affected far more than it should have before. The short story is that I was duped by a bloke who I fell head over heals in love with, and rather than break all communication, I kept in communication, and I feel I was dangled with little titbits to keep me interested. The advice I was given here, and rightly, was to break all contact, which I ultimately did and I feel a lot better for it.
The email that really broke the camel's back for me was when he wrote to me, saying he'd like to write to me more, but he was so busy (not too busy to write to tell me this) and then just bragged about all these exciting things he was doing workwise. (we're academics, so it was this conference, that paper, this award, this trip here, etc). I then just realised his effect on me is like poison, it does me no good at all. I wrote to say "please don't contact me".
I've now met someone and I've been on a few dates. I'm taking it slowly, but they make me laugh, and without thinking about it too much, dating after six months is what I think I should be doing. However, just today, a mutual friend posts on Facebook, that he's going to be going to some conference in Korea in the summer. I've blocked this ex, but I see that my mutual friend has written "great ... (to this ex), see you there". Straight away, it has a ridiculous effect on me - this ex is so much better than me, he's more confident, more talented, etc, etc. I don't want to feel like this about him, and it irritates me that I feel like this.
I reckon this is just a question largely of self-esteem - but how do I build my self-esteem - I'm reasonably attractive, I'm in a good job, etc, but I sometimes just feel so inadequate.
Any advice?
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How to build self-confidence after a break-up
9 replies
Beograde · 15/02/2013 17:46
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