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I want to shake ExH really hard.

(14 Posts)
DumSpiroSpero Mon 11-Feb-13 11:14:09

You know what they say - the best revenge is living well.

That's what you're doing and it's really pissing him off.

Well done grin!

Lovingfreedom Mon 11-Feb-13 11:08:01

Re communication I'd recommend email only and only respond to essentials such as times, dates, arrangements for drop offs etc. The rest is not your concern any more.

Lovingfreedom Mon 11-Feb-13 11:05:02

....and what has this got to do with you. Not your fault if people prefer you to your ex. He'll have to try harder. Don't be cross...enjoy your dinner and two fingers to him.

MariusEarlobe Mon 11-Feb-13 11:02:06

He probably thought you would sit and mope and you have got on with your life instead.

Ignore, facilitate contact only for dd, if he starts none related conversation stop it.
dont tell him what things your doing.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 11-Feb-13 10:49:10

Lueji yes I am in contact with him as we have a primary aged child so a certain amount of contact is necessary. I just pack the post into DD's school bag on a night she is going to his.
I don't do conversations it is texts and e-mails. They all start off about contact arrangements.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 11-Feb-13 10:47:04

Asktheaudience others have suggested that maybe he is hedging his bets, however, with me there is noway back.
CartedOff yes I think he is jealous, I think he thought I would go to pieces, but really for DD I have worked really hard to keep my life going.
Cogito due to his actions DD knows why he left, but I feel that her Daddy should be the one she is shouting at about it not me.
Sparkle yes he did think I was boring, because I didn't want to go out every Friday and Saturday (I work every other Friday and Saturday).

Lueji Mon 11-Feb-13 10:46:01

From your post it looks like you are still in contact with him.
Do you give him his post? Just return it to sender.

Do avoid getting into conversations with him.

He'd clearly like to have his cake and eat it. And I suspect he doesn't want to let go of you. So, you have to distance yourself.

Sparkleandshine Mon 11-Feb-13 10:18:31

sooo, he has this fantasy in his head (and probably what he told OW) that you were dull, boring, life would be so much better without you.....

and now he's finding out that it really isn't true, and the grass isn't greener.

sorry but I think you should be grin grin grin - make it work for you forget him!

CremeEggThief Mon 11-Feb-13 10:13:51

What a stupid man! Deserves everything he gets and more!

Ignore, ignore, ignore, OP.

CartedOff Mon 11-Feb-13 10:13:10

He's definitely upset that you're moving on, with a big streak of jealousy too. His ego is bruised that you and other people aren't desperate to have him around. I'd just ignore it. He can't cheat and leave and then expect you to behave in the way he wants and pander to his sulking.

asktheaudience Mon 11-Feb-13 10:06:28

Not redirecting mail, not going through with divorce and the rest sounds like a man who's thinking he might have made a mistake but whose ego won't let him admit it or do anything about it.

So do the attacks of jealousy at you going out and meeting new people, and the sulking at being treated as he deserves to be treated.

Is that likely? Do you think he might want you back? Or just that he doesn't want you to have a life without him?

CatelynStark Mon 11-Feb-13 09:57:48

He's being a spoilt brat! Good for you on joining a choir! It's one of the best things I ever did - so therapeutic! Sing your heart out and release all of your tension - marvellous!

(Sorry - loads of !!!)

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 11-Feb-13 09:54:29

Not surprised you're feeling hacked off. All you can do is sever contact and don't allow him the scope to be 'huffy and sulky' with you. If he wants to stick his lip out and whine, he does it on his own time. I think you owe your DD the truth btw... if she's old enough to realise that Dad ran off with another woman, I think you can say that it didn't help matters without being too negative.

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 11-Feb-13 09:45:43

April last year he told me he had been having affair for 6 months. He said he wanted to give our marriage another go, but in truth he wanted to appear to have tried going to relate etc., but never stopped seeing OW. Ultimately in June I said that if he wouldn't stop seeing her I could not continue trying to make relationship work this was is a Relate session.
He moved out 1st July. He has had good access to our DD and I have supported her relationship with him and even though she has tried to get me to admit that OW was the reason for our split I have maintained that it was because we weren't making each other happy.
Through out this time I have kept in contact with friends through meeting up, texts, phone calls and e-mails etc. It has been a big effort as there have been many days where I have felt like crawling under the duvet and never coming out. I don't feel that there are sides I think people can continue to be friends with both of us. ExH didn't answer anyones calls for three months so unsurprisingly they have stopped calling.
He is now getting huffy and sulky with everyone including me as I do go to dinner at people's houses (not often maybe once a month) and he is not.
He is really behaving like he is the wronged party, but the way I see it is that friendship has to be worked at I have worked hard to keep my friendships active throughout this time.
He is even huffy about the fact I have joined a choir on one of the nights I don't have DD to make new friends.
I know I should just ignore it all, but can't help being cross about it. Though have to admit he is the same about every aspect I have sorted out my side of finances etc. he has done nothing his post still comes to my house. I signed divorce papers in August he still hasn't sent them to the court so I am now issuing my own papers.
Thank you for listening to my rant very few other places to put it.

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