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We need a break and so dh has left.

(4 Posts)
Altinkum Sat 09-Feb-13 21:12:02

I don't knew where to start.

We are both at loggerheads in disaplining our DC, he won't disapline and we both are guilty of favouring one DC over the other.

He won't communicate. I get frustrated, then I shout, and then he says all I do is shout.

It's a vicious circle, he's went to stay at his mums for the night. He hasn't called or text, I want to text but won't, as it will again be be opening the lines if communication for him to give me one word answers.

I honestly don't know where to start, our relationship/marriage is just a mess.

It's both of us, but I can't see a way forward if we can't communicate.

He just seems to have checked out, and in thinking tonight I think have also.

Where on earth do we go from here

CailinDana Sat 09-Feb-13 21:32:35

Counselling?

snowshapes Sat 09-Feb-13 21:53:05

As a starting point, focus on DC. He will need and want to see them, so communicate about that. Let him know how they are. Think about counselling if that will help. Maybe try and look at the break as breathing space, without hasty decisions. You don't say what,if any, other pressures there are, but if the atmosphere in the house is bad, a break will help you think more clearly about what you want.
The problems have not arisen overnight, so they won't be resolved overnight. Try not to put yourself under pressure to decide one way or the other right now. Time will tell.

ElectricSheep Sat 09-Feb-13 23:38:55

Second to give yourself a proper break. Don't use the time to think just relax, try to do some nice stuff, switch off.

Sounds like your starting point after a break, should be agreeing some goals and methods re disciplining your Dc. Also some rules about how to conduct disagreements. That might be best to do in counselling and is the sort of thing they can help with I think. But personally, I wouldn't bother unless he is as committed as you to going. Only works if you are both equally up for it.

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