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DH is sulking because I don't fancy sex tonight...

(151 Posts)
AuntLucyInPeru Sat 09-Feb-13 20:11:17

We basically had a crap day in the cold wrestling with the kids, followed (at the end of the day) by tea and Nanny McPhee.

He mentioned sex earlier and I said "prob not, I just can't feel sexy after a day of arguing with a 2yr old and 5yr old all day".

So he brings it up again just now by asking me to go and have a bath, and I said 'no thanks, I know the subtext, just don't fancy sex tonight'. So now he's throwing washing up around the kitchen furiously in a noisy fury.

Being able to say no to sex when you just don't want to is just how it bloody IS surely?

We have sex 1-2 times per week, work a 60hr week (both of us) and have children aged 2 & 5.

BTW He only wants sex if we both shower, I put new full make-up on and sexy underwear, high heels, scent etc.

I just can't be bothered tonight.

How do I handle the big strop hmm ?

AuntLucyInPeru Sat 09-Feb-13 20:37:53

The two hours includes prep smile And it's good sex. But for that much effort you really have to be up for it. And I'm not tonight <shrug>

Helltotheno Sat 09-Feb-13 20:38:13

How can you even fancy him? Libido killer, that behaviour....

littlemisssarcastic Sat 09-Feb-13 20:38:25

I am also interested as to whether the 2+ hours includes the preparation beforehand.

AThingInYourLife Sat 09-Feb-13 20:38:45

He sounds really fucking creepy and horrible.

Someone who can only have planned sex with everyone washed and the woman fully made up and dressed up like a hooker has ishooooooos.

MrsMushroom Sat 09-Feb-13 20:39:08

I'd tell him to piss off about the makeup etc. If my DH couldn't fancy me clean faced and in jogging pants then I'd feel bad.

expatinscotland Sat 09-Feb-13 20:39:18

'BTW He only wants sex if we both shower, I put new full make-up on and sexy underwear, high heels, scent etc.'

And 2+ hours?

Sorry, but I'd never have sex with anyone like that.

littlemisssarcastic Sat 09-Feb-13 20:39:25

Sorry, x posted.

I don't think I'd be up for it 1 or 2 times a year OP. I wish I had your energy OP.

gingerchick Sat 09-Feb-13 20:40:29

What do you do to take 2 hours?!

MmeLindor Sat 09-Feb-13 20:41:21

How will he react if you stick to your guns and refuse sex?

Will it be a full on sulk for the rest of the day? Or longer?

Coconutty Sat 09-Feb-13 20:41:56

2 hours? Prep and DTD? Fuck that.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 09-Feb-13 20:42:24

Fucking hell i don't make that much effort to go out!!

Don't you ever feel like the natural you should be enough?

My dh is a sulker and it's such an unattractive quality.

expatinscotland Sat 09-Feb-13 20:42:28

Hmm, I don't define good sex as sex which needs all that faffing around in preperation. Makeup, heels, sexy underwear, perfume. And all he has to do is shower.

spiritedaway Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:17

Does he watch a lot of porn by any chance?

SirBoobAlot Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:31

Nothing sexier than a grown man sulking because you won't play dress up for him. hmm

I'm all for high heels and sexy underwear sometimes, but if anyone demanded I did that every time to have sex, they'd be told to fuck off rather swiftly.

TheFallenNinja Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:43

If my DP took 2+ hours I'd be forced to sit in the car and beep the horn at her (evolution made me do it guv).

Generally whoopie night gets decided once were under the quilt smile

lockets Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:55

I have uncontrolable giggles at the idea of having to get all done up for dh to want sex. I usually get into my pjs about seven and sleep in them too.
I' once had a bf who shuddered at my period. I sent him packing. I'm turned off by men who dislike me at my rawest.

So what happens if you want sex but neither of you have showered? Does he push you away?

This sounds very very odd to me.

AnyFucker Sat 09-Feb-13 20:46:00

How do you deal with it ?

You tell him to fuck right off. The End.

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 20:46:18

I'm loving the way we are all so puzzled by the two hour sex. We aren't really doing our men any reputation favours are we?

NeedlesCuties Sat 09-Feb-13 20:46:40

Does he shower and get himself dressed to your requirements?

What if you just fancied a quickie, or to try something else in bed?

He seems very inflexible and, frankly, a bit odd.

AuntLucyInPeru Sat 09-Feb-13 20:46:43

It will be a sulk for the rest of the evening . But I try hard not to give in as it sets a pattern (feels like I'm training a 2yr old in not snatching..)

And then a big, exhausting heart-to-heart tomorrow about 'why I have libido problems' hmm

For those of you wondering about the 2 hours - 30 mins each in the bathroom/ bedroom. Then an hour for sex. Never less.

AThingInYourLife Sat 09-Feb-13 20:47:04

" I'm turned off by men who dislike me at my rawest."

Amen, sister. smile

Lueji Sat 09-Feb-13 20:47:24

How will he react if you stick to your guns and refuse sex? Will it be a full on sulk for the rest of the day? Or longer?

That.

lockets Sat 09-Feb-13 20:47:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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